Do you promise us all you will keep posting here?
Especially when you are having thoughts like the ones you are having now?
The other thing I did forget to mention was now when I look back, I wish I had dedicated more time to recovery while I was pregnant because when my daughter came it was full on and there was little time spare.
I don't know if you are doing AA or other meetings. Just coming here or anything else - NHS, therapy etc. However becoming a mum is fabulous, but for me the first six months were hard, really hard. Little sleep, your life and house is upside down, you don't have the same freedom, your body does strange things and looks strange too!! I also realised how little I knew about babies and I was 36 for heavens sake!
I suppose what I am trying to say is if it was my time again, and I knew now what I did then, I would get myself rock solid in not drinking and also as emotionally well and strong as I could be.
You probably know best what works for you - AA, friendships, SR, SMART etc - but if it were me again, I would make sure I used all the resources I had while I was pregnant to get myself in the best frame of mind I could before my baby came along.
I'm always here hun.
We can talk whatever you want when you want - best prams, not boozing, birth plans, whatever you need!! xx