Struggling
 

I should be happy but last few weeks I've been feeling so low.

Crying most days and worried that once the baby is here I'll drink. I'm ashamed to even say that and it makes me wonder what type of person I am or what type of mother I'll be.

I'm so worried for my baby's future. Nearly 5 months sober and 15 weeks pregnant and I'm scared. What if I can't do this?

You can Foolsgold your going to be the greatest mum in the world

Well done on the nearly 5 months sober

Try not to worry your sober now thats the important thing

what if you can foolsgood? :)

Sobriety's not magic, and it's not open to only a select few...if you want it, and are prepared to work for it, you'll achieve it.

You deserve a sober life and your child deserves a sober parent. Those are some pretty good incentives to keep working at it, yeah? :)

D

Congrats on your sober time. :scoregood

Remind yourself of why you got sober. You need only look down to see your baby to be. :) Your child is going to be dependent on you for everything. You need to be sober to care for your child and yourself. You can do this. :hug:

Your preggers hon...roller coaster emotions are part of the deal. As is "new mommy" fear. Perfectly natural.

AND to me your fears and concerns indicate a loving soul who most likely will be an absolutely AWESOME mom.

Whether sobriety ..or pregnancy/impending motherhood...
GET OUT OF YOUR FUTURE.

Your'e going to be just fine. I'm sorry you're feeling low though. What's the most important thing a mom does?

Focus on today. then tomorrow, then the next day

I remember having similar fears when I was pregnant.

I remember worrying and having sleepless nights.
If I am honest, I hated being pregnant.
I felt emotional, angry, all over the place.
Some women glow, love every minute and look great.
I felt ill and tired and grumpy right up until the end.

There is nothing that can really prepare you for becoming a mum.
It is hard, but really rewarding and things do fall into place.
I don't think being a mum is something you can learn how to be good at.
It just happens.

You don't HAVE to be happy all the time either.
You are allowed to feel scared, fed up or down.
To me thats normal.
But if its all really bleak, all the time, it might be worth a visit to your GP.


Have you talked to your mid wife and told her you are feeling down?
Are you having regular health checks?
I was very anaemic when I was pregnant and that made me extra tired and worn out and things were a struggle.

Do you have friends and family nearby you can confide in?
Do you have any other pregnant friends you could share your concerns with?

You always have us here for you whenever you need us xx

I think every pregnant woman, regardless of her circumstances, has moments of doubt, like "they're letting me be responsible for a baby?" Yes, the need to stay sober throughout your pregnancy and breastfeeding (at least) may seem like a lot of pressure. However, believe me when I say that you're going to be just fine. (((hugs)))

Why are you feeling low? You can do it and you have. Some people fight this their whole lives and can't get 5 months. Hurrah!

I know you're right Dee. Thank you. I usually try and keep a positive mind but that's went out the window last couple of weeks. I will keep working on my sobriety, I genuinely want to.

L x

Thank you Nuudawn, I think my hormones might have a huge deal to do with how I'm feeling.

The most important thing a mum does is look after their children (and themselves) to be able to.

I'm back to giving myself a hard time at the "thought" I might be a crap mother. I just need to keep working on being sober.

Thanks you again.

L x

Thank you Sasha I really appreciate the response.

I've had quite a hard pregnancy so far, with sickness and being up and down to the hospital. I take injections and asprin everyday too due to clotting.

Since I've got sober I seem to keep my feelings to myself (I used to be an open book) but these days I struggle to say when I'm having a hard time, think I feel I've put everyone through enough before I got sober.

I have a supportive family and good friends (two of who are pregnant just now) my boyfriend has been great too. I just feel an intense sadness and I cant understand why.

I feel here I can speak freely about how I feel and I'm not judged so thank you all for allowing me to do that.

I'm so excited about being a mum and it seems like I'm ruining it for myself.

I'm hopeful things get better over next few weeks.

Thanks guys x

Hi Foolsgold,

I think you are doing great. I wish I had had your resolve when my kids were little. I have nothing but admiration for you.

As others have said, I think your self -doubt is normal, I'm sure you will be a wonderful mum.

Speaking as a mum who was drunk every night through all her kids' growing up years. you don't wanna go there. There is not a day goes by that I don't feel horrified that I drank around my kids, and the problems it caused. It may be hard to keep off the booze but it's a million times harder to look back at that. Trust me, I know.

Stay strong. (((()))))

Triple whammy!


1- you're recovering
2- you're pregnant


3- YOU'RE HUMAN!!!

But guess what? It's OK. You're totally normal. It's OK! These blues will pass. They will come again. Being Human includes feelings of all kinds. Try to notice yourself thinking about the feelings. What stories are you telling yourself about the feelings? How far into the imagined future are you living?

What if you just offered yourself compassion, let go of the stories and simply comfort yourself for the feeling Right Now.

It really is OK.

Here... Put your left hand on your right rib cage... And leaving it there put your right hand on your left rib cage... Now say to yourself 'it's OK, I LOVE YOU' and SQUEEZE!!!

:)

JanieJ and Freeowl - thank you both.

Your words have brought tears to my eyes. Compassion is something I rarely give myself but maybe i need to start to enable me to get through the next few months.

I dont want to waste this precious time worrying about the future and my what ifs. I want to embrace the chance I've been given.

You are all amazing. Thanks guys (((())))


L x

Me too.... I'm just learning to give myself the comfort and support I so readily offer others. It really does work!

Hang in there.

Wondering what type of mom you will be? Well, you are a sober mom who loves her baby from what I see! The worrying and thinking about your baby is what good mom's do. And Nuudawn is right-you have all tthose hormones going off so be kind to yourself, take it one day at a time and enjoy the pending arrival of your little one! Congrats on 5 months!!!!

Hi and I hope these responses can point you in good healthy thinking and actions. We as alcoholics need that sort of inspiration and steady reminders of why we are in recovery.
My anxieties with the what ifs were a total waste of energy and a lot of sanity because I concentrated on things that usually never happened and avoided doing things that mattered. In AA we learn and become aware of the reasons we drank and how to successfully avoid those pitfalls and that’s not an overnight fix.
One thing that helped me was to concentrate on today because in reality that’s all we have.

BE WELL

You are going to be a great mother.

You came here several months ago caring enough about yourself to want to be sober, to have a new life. You continue to care about yourself and your baby to stay sober through your pregnancy. You will continue to care.

Enjoy this magical time.

Congratulations on 5 months!

:c011: :c011: :c011: