Tamerua

I don't know the guy, obviously, but maybe he had a problem too and if you can see that you do, he would have to recognize his own problem? Or he is insensitive. Either way, don't let him impact what you're doing. You're doing great.

yeahgr8

Why would this person in your social circle know anything about being an alcoholic or want to you stop drinking?

Nowsthetime

You guys are right... I really don't think he meant it in a wrong way but I did take it like that. We are not very close. He sees me as a party girl, he could count on my to be up until sunrise. He said that it is normal to get drunk and fall, or blackout or act like a goober. It's NOT how I want to be and this is why I changed. He doesn't know my entire story but even with that in mind, his comments were insensitive.

I'm still feeling great about being sobER and eventhough my AV tries to peek out i recognize it and swat it! I'm really done and I am loving my new persona. THIS is who I want to be.

Thanks SR!

sprout50

Good for you! Leave the nonsense behind and be the sober person you were meantto be!

james186

I think there's a lot of truth to this. There are so many people that just don't know they have a problem, because they don't see it as one and so have never tried to quit. If they did try, they might have to adjust their attitude as to what or who exactly is considered 'alcoholic'. I have a friend who sounds very similar to this: 'you're not an alcoholic, you don't have whiskey on your cornflakes in the morning...' blah blah blah. If he admits I have a problem, than maybe he does too and that can't be possible because he might have to give up the blessed drink.

People drink for very deep seated reasons sometimes and really don't want to face those reasons. But that being said, maybe he's just a ******* *******!

Mirage74

Person sounds like an ass. I know people who think this way and aren't scared to vocalize it either, like your "friend". To taunt you with the drink is just vile though.

I like the ones at AA meetings who introduce themselves, "I'm (name), and I'm a 'real' alcoholic". Like they need to point that out and the rest of us are fakes. Lol.

growpath

I get this, I really do.

I have had so many people tell me, "well I don't think you are an alcoholic" or when I relapse they say' "yay, the fun you is back" or "you're overreacting, you just think too much"

I feed into these things and think maybe I do not have a problem. I try to convince myself that maybe they are right but nobody knows me the way I do. Nobody has to live in my head day in and day out.

I know the obsession that comes along with picking up one drink and not being able to stop for days, months to years. I know if I pick up it will lead to the same unhealthy cycle it always leads to.
I am the one that is stuck in my mind when all it thinks about is drinking, when to drink, how to get out of an appt to drink, how to leave a job to drink, revolving my schedule around it, losing time with family to drink, the selfishness, the lies, the low self esteem, the physical, spiritual, mental spiral. I know the feelings I get when drinking and hung over that tell me how much of a loser I am.
I know my drinking is not normal and never will be.

Sometimes I envy these people that can drink mass quantities and not feel any guilt about it. As that person said, "it's normal to get blacked out drunk". I have a social circle that feels the same way. That annoys me too! But, hey, that's them, not me. I don't want that life. I know what I feel when I lead that life. I have to let go of that resentment and know that life is just not for me and alcohol brings nothing good to my life.

Nows - these labels your "friend" put on what makes a real alcoholic are dumb. The thing about it is you know you have a problem with alcohol and it was making your life unmanageable. That's all that matters. You're sober for YOU, nobody else.

A lot of their comments are most likely to keep a drinking buddy around. Maybe he is jealous? Or they are just not true friends at all. I have a friend who totally supports me. We are in a roommate situation and in support for me he has stopped drinking (used to drink nightly). I can't make him stay stopped I realize that. But, in the time that he has been sober with me he has made several comments about how great he feels and how giving up alcohol completely may be a good call for him. Maybe it takes a silence to see the big picture, I dunno. The point is as a friend he put the drink down because he knew chugging them nightly in my presence would be no good for my sobriety. He knows how much this means to me. That's a true friend. One we need in recovery.
If these individuals are not supportive of you or feel the need to make dumb comments as that you might as well cut them out.
Most importantly.....Do not let this sacrifice your sobriety. You have done an awesome job.

Sorry for the novel!