I get this, I really do.
I have had so many people tell me, "well I don't think you are an alcoholic" or when I relapse they say' "yay, the fun you is back" or "you're overreacting, you just think too much"
I feed into these things and think maybe I do not have a problem. I try to convince myself that maybe they are right but nobody knows me the way I do. Nobody has to live in my head day in and day out.
I know the obsession that comes along with picking up one drink and not being able to stop for days, months to years. I know if I pick up it will lead to the same unhealthy cycle it always leads to.
I am the one that is stuck in my mind when all it thinks about is drinking, when to drink, how to get out of an appt to drink, how to leave a job to drink, revolving my schedule around it, losing time with family to drink, the selfishness, the lies, the low self esteem, the physical, spiritual, mental spiral. I know the feelings I get when drinking and hung over that tell me how much of a loser I am.
I know my drinking is not normal and never will be.
Sometimes I envy these people that can drink mass quantities and not feel any guilt about it. As that person said, "it's normal to get blacked out drunk". I have a social circle that feels the same way. That annoys me too! But, hey, that's them, not me. I don't want that life. I know what I feel when I lead that life. I have to let go of that resentment and know that life is just not for me and alcohol brings nothing good to my life.
Nows - these labels your "friend" put on what makes a real alcoholic are dumb. The thing about it is you know you have a problem with alcohol and it was making your life unmanageable. That's all that matters. You're sober for YOU, nobody else.
A lot of their comments are most likely to keep a drinking buddy around. Maybe he is jealous? Or they are just not true friends at all. I have a friend who totally supports me. We are in a roommate situation and in support for me he has stopped drinking (used to drink nightly). I can't make him stay stopped I realize that. But, in the time that he has been sober with me he has made several comments about how great he feels and how giving up alcohol completely may be a good call for him. Maybe it takes a silence to see the big picture, I dunno. The point is as a friend he put the drink down because he knew chugging them nightly in my presence would be no good for my sobriety. He knows how much this means to me. That's a true friend. One we need in recovery.
If these individuals are not supportive of you or feel the need to make dumb comments as that you might as well cut them out.
Most importantly.....Do not let this sacrifice your sobriety. You have done an awesome job.
Sorry for the novel!