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Old 09-16-2014, 07:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
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One Month


I officially hit one month sober a few days ago. People keep telling me I should be proud and I should. So why do I feel just as low as I did on day 1? I'm so discouraged. I'm attending AA daily, have a sponsor, have a therapist. I'm exercising daily, eating healthy foods and praying. I know it takes time, I should be patient. I just wish I felt the tiniest bit better.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:24 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I felt better when I took the steps according to the BB. With a sponsor. What step are you working on?
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:31 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Which Steps? 1, 2 and 3.
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:32 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Congrats on 1 month!!! We often dig ourselves into pretty big emotional, financial, and physical holes while drinking. It's pretty discouraging to have gone one whole month in this battle and not see any tangible results. Your instincts tell you that TIME is the answer. You'll never hit the 2 month mark if you didn't hit the 1 month mark...and you've done it! In my experience, progress was gradual. So slow at first that it was almost unnoticeable. We alcoholics are used to instant gratification, so I understand your frustration. Just keep plowing onward. This is the best decision of your life, and you're doing great. Keep your chin up!
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Old 09-16-2014, 07:37 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I have 34 days DSP & kind of feeling blue myself....reminding myself to just take it easy on myself & appreciate the small things in sobriety....waking up sober, being available to others when they need me....washing my feet before I crawl into bed...silly but they are good Hoping tomorrow is a brighter day for you & remember you are not alone in this!
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Old 09-16-2014, 08:48 PM   #6 (permalink)
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I think we each have different journeys desertsweetpea

For me it took 3 months or so for me to feel anywhere near 'good'...it was a hard slog, but nothing against the 20 years I drank for....

As rough as it was, I had support here and I had faith that improvement would come.
I think your improvement will come too - have faith

D
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Old 09-16-2014, 09:11 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by desertsweetpea View Post
I officially hit one month sober a few days ago. People keep telling me I should be proud and I should. So why do I feel just as low as I did on day 1? I'm so discouraged. I'm attending AA daily, have a sponsor, have a therapist. I'm exercising daily, eating healthy foods and praying. I know it takes time, I should be patient. I just wish I felt the tiniest bit better.
I was going to make a post like this myself tonight, but felt so miserable in my redundancy lately that I didn't.

I know INTELLECTUALLY that this is considered "normal" in recovery, to feel like sh**, discouraged, blue, depressed, even as we go through the motions of "doing everything right".

I'm afraid I don't have anything constructive to offer except that you are totally not alone in the doldrums. I know it helps me to know I'm not alone (just like simply reading your post helped me). Dee's wisdom in "having a little faith" - I should probably take that to heart too.

Perhaps find the lightheartedness in life. Idk - say, actively seek out more humorous, lighthearted things. I know I take myself (and ergo my sobriety and recovery) soooo very seriously. It's all doom and gloom and trial and tribulation and pain and suffering. I read on here recently, someone saying that "recovery is not prison" - we don't HAVE to make it more difficult on ourselves.

I don't know, who am I to say.
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Old 09-16-2014, 09:28 PM   #8 (permalink)
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One month is amazing! Keep it up!
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Old 09-16-2014, 09:45 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Congrats on your month! I have felt like that too. I'm always wanting results to instantly happen and that whole one day at a time concept really helps me as a reminder to just slow down and focus on the present day!
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Old 09-16-2014, 09:53 PM   #10 (permalink)
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Hey. I have 18 days. Not a month (congrats by the way!) But I feel the same way. I'm discouraged too. The only thing that is truly keeping me going is taking it one day at a time. It sounds so cliche.. but thinking this is going to be forever is driving me INSANE... I'm doing everything little by little... and one day it's really going to pay off. Hang in there! You can do it. You have already!
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Old 09-16-2014, 11:55 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I'm about a week away from 3 months Sweetpea...and well, it is only recently that I have felt some semblance of change or progress. Although a month may seem like a good bit of time....it's still so very brand new. At not even 3 months, I too am just in sobriety infancy but as I say...I can finally feel or sense changes rather than the overwhelming smack of sobriety wherein I felt well...sorta stunned and lost and simply treading water to keep my head afloat (and sober).

You are improving every day but I think you probably just need a wee bit more time..more distance to your wake in order to see how far you've actually come. It's how I feel anyway as I'm only seeing actual progress or feel like a certain beginning bit is over somewhat.
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Old 09-17-2014, 06:37 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Thanks for the thoughtful replies everyone. I think that part of the problem I'm having is a lack of coping skills. I drank every time I began to feel anything. Sad? Have a drink. Angry or frightened? Drink. I don't know what to do with those emotions now. Talking with my sponsor helps. I'm just overwhelmed.
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Old 09-17-2014, 07:12 AM   #13 (permalink)
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1 month sober is amazing
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Old 09-17-2014, 09:52 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Hi Desertsweetpea, I am on day 47 and feel similar. Some mornings waking up with headaches and groggy.. probably a sleep issue because my sleep cycle has been messed up. But, I am no longer living with alcohol and the benefits of that alone are worth it. No more feeling pitiful at work for feeling like crap due to alcohol, among many other things. Now I sometimes feel bad but it's from early recovery. Im sure it's my brain is trying to heal. As Dee said, it may take up to 3 months but hey... we are overcoming this and will one day be healed, happy, and very strong due to overcoming a huge life-obstacle like this!

Stay strong, we will make it!!

Btw, thanks for posting this. It feels good to know that this is normal.
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Old 09-17-2014, 10:24 AM   #15 (permalink)
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1 Month is fantastic!! Keep it going!!
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:12 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Wow, congratulations!!! A month seems like an eternity to me right now. I was wondering about this exact thing. It seems like I think of drinking as something to look forward to (even though it is totally ruining my life, make no mistake), so to elminate it would be totally anticlimatic unless there was some huge, dramatic payoff? I don't know.
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:17 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Way to go on 30 days!
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Old 09-17-2014, 11:30 AM   #18 (permalink)
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One month is a greaaaattttt start!!!
Keep it up!!!

Also in new sobriety here - some days flat line, feel poorly. I start to think I felt that way everyday. Then, I reflect and sometimes recall yesterday was better! So, tomorrow may be as well. I don't have the discipline to do a journal, but I've heard others talk about this with success and how it allows reflection of true feelings.

Keep going and push through!!!

peace
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