foryoumyson

This is my problem I relapsed again matter a fact I'm drinking right now I won't lie or sugar coat it. I live in the past I'm only 23 but I'm far beyond my years and no one understand me. But anyways all I think about when I'm sober or drinking is my past and how I could of changed this or done that and it's tearing me apart . I played football and was very good I do not ever brag but I had that God given talent that most people do not get and I did not put in the time or the dedication that I could of and I went to the football camps and everything but I lost interest and I ended up dropping out of school because of it and it eats at me every single day . I beat myself up because of this and this is why I keep relapsing. I let the past beat me up and I'm stuck at a dead end job because of my actions no one else's. I just want to cry after every day because I know I had the potential to make something of myself but I gave up on life along time ago. I wanted to blow football off for friends and partying but that was my downfall ,football was my outlet and I gave up and now I'm stuck because of my actions. I'm not sure about the type of responses I will receive but I've never told anyone this and it feels good to get it out but I still feel like a lossr. Everyday I wake up i feel like a failure .

Dee74

I had to accept that I couldn't change a second of my past foryoumyson.
None of us can.

All we can do is make the most of today - which makes it all the more important that you gather up what booze you have there and throw it out. Now.

Otherwise you'll just have more days to look back on and regret.

D

biminiblue

First things first.

Dump the alcohol. Come back tomorrow when you're sober. Get some sleep, eat well, drink a bunch of water. Stop drinking.

We all make choices that are not the best. You can't change the past. Everything is exactly how it was supposed to be and there is simply another path you were meant to follow. It's not being a drunk.


Once you stop drinking, things look a lot better, you have to stick with sobriety for a while and actively work on your attitude and your outlook. The only way out of these feelings is to stop drinking and maybe get some help, whether it's AA or therapy, or whatever you think you need - it will get better.

Now get some sleep.

Soberpotamus

Have you considered there are other things you can find in life that give your life meaning besides football? Sometimes I kick myself hard for not taking my musical talents more seriously when I was younger. I had dreams of being a singer/songwriter but alcohol got in the way.

Maybe it's time to consider that you have you whole life ahead of you at this age... you are going to find some other passions and interests if you put down the alcohol. Give it a chance. There is no need for a 23 year old to feel like life is over at this point in the game.

Time to open yourself up to the rest of the world

trachemys

So quit drinking, get in shape and walk-on at a pro camp. They still do walk-on tryouts, y'know? You're only 23, and you're talking like you can never accomplish anything ever again because you made one bad decision. You have plenty left to do in life. Get up. Go do.

foryoumyson

I was doing OK I had 2 days I felt great when I woke up this morning but I ended up caving in at the end of work had a bill 2 pay which is right by a liquor store of course I had to stop in and by a case . All day at work that's all I could think about i felt that thirst . Which is very sad I was thinking about AA and I read it's a lot about religion and god and I am not religious and I feel very nervous about going. I'm not sure how to even find a meeting if anyone could help I would appreciate it because I need your help I'm very ill and I need as much as I can get . I feel awful I have a son who will be 17 months tomorrow and I need to be the best role model that I ever had to him. Thank you

johnnybsober

Oh for the love....
You quit high school football and now you can't move on?
Have you read what people have lost here? Kids, spouses, real good jobs all due to being alcoholics.

By the time I was your age I had drank myself out of college and the army and had been homeless.
Kid at 23 you have what could be a long and brilliant life ahead of you. Stop with the self pity. Stop the drinking. And start living life.

You cannot change anything about the past. You can change today and every day starting today.

foryoumyson

Johnnybsober I didn't just quit football I quit school . That's all that matters in today's society is school man. Your going where with out it . At least you made it to college and the army you made it farther then I did. The best comment you made is You cannot change anything about the past. You can change today and every day starting today. Which is very true

Dee74

the fact is you're 23 man. I didn't start drinking in earnest until I was older than you and I didn't stop til I was nearly twice your age.

you may feel your life is over but it's really not - you have youth, health, and so many years ahead to go back to school, find a new job, or change direction completely. You have so many choices.

You're not at the end - you're at the beginning

D

ScottFromWI

Many people go back and get their High School equivalency and then move on. You can't do that until you stop drinking though. Get rid of what you have, drink some water and get some rest. Make tomorrow the day you start changing your life for the better

foryoumyson

I thank you dee for that last comment that really hit home. Now I have seen your name around here very often what did you do to become sober . What worked for you. And how long have you been sober.

foryoumyson

What helped anyone to get sober .

Dee74

I was just ready to quit. It was either that or die, and I nearly did.

Rather than write it all again, there's a brief recounting here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post2531003

My full, long, story is in the Recovery Stories forum
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html

Basically I had to commit to not drinking, no matter what - no matter how low I felt or how badly life was treating me.

I had to trust the folks here who said things would get better if I kept that commitment and worked through my problems...and things really did, not overnight, but with some time and effort.

what have you been doing for your recovery. foryoumyson?
D

Verte

Whoa JohnnyB! Reading your post I really appreciate the kick in the pants for my own state of mind tonight. Thanks for this.

But wait! Foryoumyson - is it possible that a significant part of your positive identity, (friendships, support, family, team, camaraderie, talk, free time, belonging perhaps) was wrapped up and associated with the sport? And now you are kind of in a state of mourning for that life that no longer exists for you. This I understand as it occurred very suddenly for me in my 20s. It was an excruciating, slow process of involuntary extrication from friendships and belonging. This is a huge loss! Make no mistake. Yes, you alone are responsible for your life and alcohol has really effed things up. Ask yourself what alcohol has done for you since you started drinking. Anything lasting or of value?

You must gain/change perspective right now and the only way you can do this is with clear eyes and a clear mind. Very simply, football offered you something lasting and fulfilling that drinking and your current work does not. You must put the bottle down. Gain a true and honest identity with the best resources available to you. Groups are fabulous for offering perspective. This forum is a life preserver - keep reading as much as you can.

Stop drinking now so you can realize the life you want and deserve. The rest will follow. Your little guy ultimately will model this type of courage - to gain insight into who you truly are, what you really want and how you wish to use you super athletic prowess . Then there is not a thing lost over these past years.

Put down the bottle and gain perspective. Do not wait. Do it now. Yes, it may feel like turning a barge around at first. But this is your life. You are the Captain of your barge. Alcohol has just effed with your life. Seriously. Give credit where credit is due.

You can make this decision to start living your life.



***I love SoberJennie's signature quote. “The shortest answer is doing the thing.” - Hemingway Repeating this has been so useful whenever I have felt stuck on my own road.

foryoumyson

I will not post again untill I'm actually a week sober and the term being the captain of my barge was great really hit home. I will be back once im a week sober tonight's the night I will be pouring my booze down the drain I will be back next Thursday. I thank all of your inspiring words I wish you all strength on our journeys to sobriety. If I return before next Thursday I have relapsed if not I'm not my journey. Thank you all

foryoumyson

Forgot to mention for some reason the more I read about drinking I want to drink . So I'm giving it a week
S

taramaree

Really? The kid is drunk and is trying to get help?! He needs help and is reaching out. Give him a shot! He's 23.. Reaching out, don't de-tour him away to where he's 43!

biminiblue

Would you care to add some helpful thoughts for him?

EndGameNYC

Hi, FYMS.

Long after the relatively few good times I had while drinking, and whatever other positives I got from booze faded into history, drinking always ended in tears and heartbreak for me. And for anyone who cared about me. These events were plentiful and extremely painful. They haunted me for years, but never moved me to stop drinking. Instead, they only gave me further justification (rationalization) to continue drinking. Intense and ongoing heartbreak has no use for sobriety.

With a great deal of help, and learning that I had strengths that -- quite frankly, scared me more than anything else before I got sober -- allowed me to build a very nice life, a life that no longer haunted me, a life that I didn't need to run away from and about which I am extremely grateful.

Please don't wait a week before you post here again. The support available here is like nothing else I've experienced before, and will only help you stay sober. Failing that, you'll continue to have people in your corner.

Don't wait another minute, to say nothing of waiting another five, ten or twenty years, to stop. You don't want the heartbreak that accompanies raising a child or children who are/have been inevitably traumatized by having lived with an alcoholic parent. And he/they will be traumatized, though this may not always be obvious to you.

I've learned that the best remedy for past regrets is to build a better life in the present. And even if that doesn't work, the effort will be well worth it for you. The alternative is to say "no" to life while inviting pain and suffering to the years you have left while you're just sitting around, with your best efforts wasted on doing little more than trying to survive the next hour.

Stop punishing yourself. Life awaits.

Dee74

Your addiction will use anything to keep you away from help For.

I'm not surprised that reading about drinking makes you think about drinking - *everything* made me think of drinking in the beginning.

That's why early recovery is so tough.
I'd rather be among friends than fighting this battle alone.

I hope you'll come back and post tomorrow or the next day, not because you've relapsed but because you realise that finding a strong support network is really where its at.

D