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Worried about the weekend

Old 08-08-2014, 08:32 AM
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Worried about the weekend

Hi Everybody, I joined this forum, because as of last Sunday, I have decided to give up alcohol for good. I am a weekend warrior and beer is my drink. Starting Friday night after work and through Sunday evening, I usually have a beer in my hand. I have been drinking on the weekends ever since I was 13 years old (I'm now 51). I have taken many breaks from drinking over the years, but in March 2013, I drank too much while camping and fell in the fire pit and got 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my hand and chin. I'm fortunate; it could have been so much worse. It has taken me a while, but I have finally decided that even though I only drink on the weekends, I still drink too much. I want to live a 100% sober life 100% of the time now.

I have stayed alcohol free since last Sunday. I went out to Mexican food dinner with my son and his girlfriend Tuesday and they each had a beer with their meal, but I didn't. I wasn't even tempted because it was a Tuesday night and I don't drink during the week. However, it is 8:30 a.m. here in California and since this is Friday, I would normally be looking forward to tonight after work when I get home and hang out with my husband and neighbors and have a few beers. That's always how my weekends start. Tomorrow we are going to a family reunion bbq (not my family and really boring) and then we are going to a beach party in the evening. I will want to drink beer at both events and normally would have. Then Sunday I will stay home and clean the house and do laundry. I love to drink beer while I do housework....it puts me in a good mood and gives me energy.

Sometimes I get quick thoughts that run through my mind like "you can have a couple of beers tonight, it won't hurt you and it will probably help you to relieve stress," or "you don't have a drinking problem," or "you can't function without beer on the weekend," etc. I know I have to stay strong and just keep reminding myself that I want to be truly healthy, happy, and live a long life and I cannot have any of that by drinking...even if it is just on the weekend. In fact, I just read a study that drinking like I do on the weekend is harder on the body than daily drinking. My rational mind knows this......my beer brain doesn't care. I want my rational mind to win.

Thanks for letting me ramble.
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Old 08-08-2014, 09:49 AM
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Welcome to the Forum Sandy!!

You'll find loads of support here on SR, we even have a weekend thread for extra support, everyone is welcome!!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ug-8-10-a.html
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Old 08-08-2014, 09:59 AM
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Originally Posted by SandyLovesFall View Post
Hi Everybody, I joined this forum, because as of last Sunday, I have decided to give up alcohol for good. I am a weekend warrior and beer is my drink. Starting Friday night after work and through Sunday evening, I usually have a beer in my hand. I have been drinking on the weekends ever since I was 13 years old (I'm now 51). I have taken many breaks from drinking over the years, but in March 2013, I drank too much while camping and fell in the fire pit and got 2nd and 3rd degree burns on my hand and chin. I'm fortunate; it could have been so much worse. It has taken me a while, but I have finally decided that even though I only drink on the weekends, I still drink too much. I want to live a 100% sober life 100% of the time now.

I have stayed alcohol free since last Sunday. I went out to Mexican food dinner with my son and his girlfriend Tuesday and they each had a beer with their meal, but I didn't. I wasn't even tempted because it was a Tuesday night and I don't drink during the week. However, it is 8:30 a.m. here in California and since this is Friday, I would normally be looking forward to tonight after work when I get home and hang out with my husband and neighbors and have a few beers. That's always how my weekends start. Tomorrow we are going to a family reunion bbq (not my family and really boring) and then we are going to a beach party in the evening. I will want to drink beer at both events and normally would have. Then Sunday I will stay home and clean the house and do laundry. I love to drink beer while I do housework....it puts me in a good mood and gives me energy.

Sometimes I get quick thoughts that run through my mind like "you can have a couple of beers tonight, it won't hurt you and it will probably help you to relieve stress," or "you don't have a drinking problem," or "you can't function without beer on the weekend," etc. I know I have to stay strong and just keep reminding myself that I want to be truly healthy, happy, and live a long life and I cannot have any of that by drinking...even if it is just on the weekend. In fact, I just read a study that drinking like I do on the weekend is harder on the body than daily drinking. My rational mind knows this......my beer brain doesn't care. I want my rational mind to win.

Thanks for letting me ramble.
It's Friday evening here in the UK and I am struggling! Stay strong, we can do this! I would love a beer!
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:09 AM
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Welcome to SR.

I would avoid the events that you know you will struggle at in the early days. It is perfectly acceptable to not go tomorrow. Protect your sobriety and put it first even if it feels selfish-this is a time in life when being selfish is allowed

Of course, we can't and don't need to avoid events for ever but it does get easier. Being home when you are used to drinking isn't something that can be avoided either but distraction works well for me. Being realistic though, going to parties, clubs, beach & booze BBQs, drinking events in the first few weeks is dangerous behaviour. Be kind to yourself-you have nothing to prove and don't need to test yourself. Looking after your sobriety and putting it first are all you need to focus on.

Many congrats on day 5 btw
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:10 AM
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Thanks Purpleknight. Stay strong buggirl. I still have a few hours left at work but when I get home tonight I'll be pulling up to my house and everyone will be at our house, hanging out in the garage drinking beer. Ugh. I intend to stop on my way home and grab a large diet soda with ice and drink that in the garage while I socialize so that I have something in my hand and something non-alcoholic to drink. What is your game plan to keep away from the beer tonight buggirl?
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:13 AM
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Thanks readyatlast. My whole life tempts me to drink beer so I'm going to put on a vest of armor emotionally and go to the functions this weekend. If it gets to a place where I feel too tempted/weak, I hate to say it, but I will feign a headache or something and go home.
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:17 AM
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You can do it. Run yourself ragged with activities and flop into bed after x
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:26 AM
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That sounds awesome KateL!!
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:31 AM
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Welcome! Sounds like what you are attempting is to control your drinking - both these weekend events you plan to attend you expect to be tempted at and to fight through using willpower. You may or may not be an alcoholic even though you have a long period of habitual drinking - heavy drinking doesn't necessarily mean you're an addict. But if you are, you will likely find staying off alcohol/controlling your drinking very difficult if not impossible even when you want to. The reason most programs of recovery begin with an admission of powerlessness over alcohol is that most of us tried what you are trying for a long, long time and kept going back to the bottle. Some of us can stay stopped for a few hours, a few days, or a few months, but we usually go back to drinking until we work a program of recovery.

So give it a go and see how it is. Don't drink this weekend and see how you feel on Monday. Try to observe how hard it is not to drink, and make note of how you feel and what's going through your head. As an alcoholic myself, when I was actively drinking and was abstaining for the evening for whatever reason I was often bored, irritable, preoccupied with what others were drinking and planning out when my next drink would be. See what other kinds of thoughts run through your head as you try out abstinence this weekend, because our thoughts really work against us when we are alcoholics, and our mind becomes the place where the battle plays out more often than not.

All the best
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:39 AM
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Originally Posted by SandyLovesFall View Post
Thanks readyatlast. My whole life tempts me to drink beer so I'm going to put on a vest of armor emotionally and go to the functions this weekend. If it gets to a place where I feel too tempted/weak, I hate to say it, but I will feign a headache or something and go home.
I know what you mean and also agree with what Climber has written above. For me, it wasn't just stopping drinking - I had to change my lifestyle and habits. It isn't an overnight change but often a gradual one. The more sober I am the more I want to do sober activities. I can be around others drinking and go to drinking events but there are other things I'd prefer to do. I hope your weekend goes well.SR is open 24 hours a day so post as much as you need
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:43 AM
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Wouldn't call that rambling @ all! You were simply tellin us where @ in life & need help to get where wanna be. I was not wknd drinker but started off as that & finished as an all the time drinker. It's miserable & can relate to that. But God had a great plan for me by introducing me to AA 3 yrs ago even tho didnt choose to get serious till Aug '12. What a blessing this program's been to me & I'm sure can be to you as well
Prayed that wounds would heal quickly
Best wishes ma'am
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:43 AM
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Thank you climber122. I will definitely pay attention to my thoughts this weekend.
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Old 08-08-2014, 10:45 AM
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Thanks 1newcreation!! I'm glad I found SR
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Old 08-08-2014, 11:05 AM
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For the record, I am a hyper control, type A person. Part of this is due my nature and part due to nurture. I'm an only child who was taught that my Mom's needs (she was in a deep depression growing up with many phobias) and other people's needs were greater than my own. I have 12 hour work days every day (3 hour commute to and from work), I have a high stress job, I handle the housework, finances, and my Mom moved in with my husband and I 11 years ago after my father passed away. I honestly never relax, unless I'm in a beer buzz. However, I always feel sick after the buzz wears off. There are two areas in my life that I let be out of control.....drinking beer and eating. I'm taking on the most important one first and that's drinking. If I cannot tackle this on my own and with SR, I will go to AA.
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Old 08-08-2014, 04:15 PM
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Hi and welcome Sandy

I was a TypeA too - I've had to retire as the General Manager of the Universe, and learn to take the time to smell the roses.

A life that needs drinking in it is not much of a life
You'll find a lot of support here

D
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Old 08-08-2014, 04:19 PM
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Thanks dee74
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Old 08-08-2014, 05:29 PM
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Welcome to the SR family. I hope your weekend is a sober one. And if you have trouble, then check out AA. Support is crucial in early recovery.
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Old 08-08-2014, 06:06 PM
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Welcome aboard. Remarkable how seriously injuring ourselves due to drinking (your fire burn story) often does not deter people like us from continuing to drink. A couple years ago I mouthed off to the wrong guy while blacked out and he ended up rearranging the left side of the my face to the point where I needed surgery to put it back together. Sure, I didn't drink for 3 weeks while my face healed up (thankfully I had a great surgeon and it healed completely), but then I was right back at it for another lost 2 years.

Stay sober, and nothing like that will happen to either of us ever again.
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Old 08-08-2014, 09:43 PM
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Thanks for the support Least. SoberHoopsFan that is awesome that your face healed. I hid my burned hands for weeks at work. My fingertips swelled like balloons and I could hardly type on my keyboard. I remember wearing flesh colored bandaids so they wouldn't show as much. Oh and the jokes of people that we were racing with when I fell in the fire (we were camping in the desert with our motorcycle/dirtbike club). I remember trying to laugh it off but I cried and cried alone. Going to the ER the next day I saw the sheriffs bringing in a convict and he was all beat up and needed treatment and I looked down at my hands and just lost it. I felt the lowest I ever have in my life. I stopped drinking for 3 weeks and then started again, less, but still too much. I don't ever want to feel like that again.

I just got back from dinner and hanging out with neighbors. Everyone was drinking beer. I sort of wanted to and then I noticed how silly sloppy people get. Only one person commented on me not drinking and he said, "oh you're trying that sober thing again." I said "yep until I get it right." That was it, no biggie. I had a great night tonight and when I get my hair done tomorrow, I won't feel green and sick with a hangover. Looking forward to that.
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Old 08-08-2014, 09:47 PM
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oh yeah lol dee74. I like that "General Manager of the Universe"
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