soberjuly

foryoumyson...ok for some reason, because of your screen name I assumed you were older. Do you have a kid? I mean no judgement here, I am just curious now. My sister had kids young so no judgement, I am just trying to understand here.

As far as HS football...well, at the start of basketball season (my son plays BB and tennis but he's more a tennis player), they sent out a memo to the parents telling them that the odds of their kid becoming a professional athlete were 1 in 9000. You may have been great at football, but sports is just not something you can bank on. It's like trying to build a house on a stack of cards. Terribly competitive and one bad injury can end a career.

My son is a competitive tennis player but we aren't too serious. He's good too. Really good. I get coaches coming up to me to talk about his tennis career, like since he was about 11 yrs old. He's 13 now. He can play, he can compete, but we aren't going to build his life around it.

You are 23, you have the whole world ahead of you, don't burn and crash this early! You are here and I think that is great, even if you come here drunk, you still come here. For someone 23, that shows a lot of maturity.

My nephew is really good at sports in general. He's at community college, I think he'll probably end up a personal trainer. He was a HS wrestler, like state champ or something. I think he did try-out for some minor league baseball team but didn't make it. He's short, compact, muscular (like my brother-in-law). Good for wrestling and things like gymnastics but maybe not the best for baseball. He does play with a local baseball team just for love of the game.

Anyhow, my point is, you could still play football with some local team. It's a popular sport, I'm sure you could find something, if you look, and you stay/get sober.

Ok, I just re-read your post. My sister also dropped out of HS. She got pregnant. Then she went to some HS for pregnant teens. She got a HS diploma or a GED. I think your first step, after you get sober, is to go for your GED. So you stop viewing yourself as a loser, you aren't.

I was hit by a pickup truck the first day of my junior year in HS. I had to go back to the same HS where I had been an honor roll student as a "special education" student. You know how embarrassing that was? I was 15. I also walked with a limp and I was sent to "adaptive physical education" where it was me, and I kid you not, ALL the other kids in the class had Down's Syndrome. I stuttered for a year. I was not on the A honor roll. I was on the B honor roll so not trying to say I was a genius but I was a decent student. I got about half As and half Bs. After my car accident I felt like why did I bother? Everything was wiped out, everything I ever worked for.

I also couldn't walk and had to re-learn how to walk. After my accident I couldn't walk, talk, read or write. I had to learn how to do those things ALL OVER. I have a left-sided weakness (from the injury) and I am left-handed, so it's difficult for me to hold a pen or pencil for more than a couple minutes. It's hard for me to write a check, for example. Sometimes I have to write it over 2-3 times. Sometimes I want to cry in frustration when the pen flies out of my hand because I just can't grasp it.

I didn't do sports but I took about 10 hours of ballet class a week. With a left-sided weakness, that ended ballet. Don't know if you know ballet but almost every exercise is done on both sides of the body equally.

I suffered a severe brain injury and all those things, my brain had to re-learn, as best as it could. I will never be what I could have been if someone didn't drive on the wrong side of the road when I was walking to school and hit me. If I could recover from that you can recover from not being an NFL football player.

taramaree

You are not a failure, or a loser. I get where you're coming from as one of my posts the other day had " I feel like such a loser" in the title. At this point, you can't live in the past. You are so young! You can quit drinking, but you have to be ready, and truly want it for yourself. I'm young too, only 27, and what I take away from reading these posts everyday, is, I never want to get to where some of these people have been ( please don't take offense anyone), which is why I'm choosing to get sober now, while I'm young, and have a decent head on my shoulders. You can choose that for yourself, and for your son. First step, stop beating yourself up about the past, get sober, and get your ged. Good luck.

foryoumyson

Thank you all. Just in a very dark place and trying to get to the light. I need anything I can get weather a post was straight to the point or harsh or w.e I need it all because everything that was said and was true . I'm not just living In the past about football it's a lot of things obviously it would take me hours when I'm sober I just sit and think of all the wrong I've done. 23 years old but this young man's been to hell and back. So johnnybsober don't make it sound like I don't belong here because I haven't lost what someone else has lost. Because I'm on the verge of losing my son if I don't stop and last night was the final straw things are going downhill fast and I'm out of control.


I will be looking in to AA but I would like an example of what it's like. Do you just find a meeting and walk in and sit down. ? Is it like what you see in movies. You stand up and say hi my names so and so I'm an alcoholic and something something??

PurpleKnight

When I realised my life was getting out of control, I really needed to accept that alcohol wasn't going to improve things, only make things worse, taking alcohol out of the picture helped me to regain control of my life!!

You can do this foryoumyson!!

biminiblue

You can go and say nothing if you want. I've never been to a meeting where people get up to talk, unless it is specifically a speaker meeting - which you would like, anyway. I like speaker meetings.

Most open meetings are discussions. So the Chairperson will open the meeting with a short topic, and then people can talk about that topic or whatever is on their mind. The groups sit at tables or in chairs and share their experiences from their seats. Some groups call on people and some just use the volunteer method.

At the beginning of the meeting the group is asked if anyone is at their first, second or third meeting. You can speak up or not, whatever you want. If you do speak up, you can say you're an alcoholic, or not. If you speak up, the group will then pass around a sheet for members of the same sex to give you their phone numbers. You don't need to speak up unless you feel you want to do so.

Nothing is required at an AA meeting. It is your meeting to do as you want. If you want to leave early, you can. The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking.

Try a few meetings, you may or may not find it is for you.

johnnybsober

I found it easier to stick very close to this site. The ppl here are awesome. I have learned so much from them.

johnnybsober

Foryou... If I made you feel that you didn't belong, I am so sorry. At 47 yrs old, I look at your age and think, damn this kid has so much future ahead of him.

I tend to be on the harsh side, but it comes from being the one who has Always been the one to pick up the pieces by myself. They call us types self reliant

Please don't take my words as judgmental. I guess I was trying to get you to open your eyes to the idea that others have been through worse. Hell who am I to think that I can make that call based on one post. My apologies.

Still, what matters is that you quit drinking. After that, once your head clears up a bit, it's time to get serious. Get your GED! Then either go to college or a trade school. (BTW I ended up going back to college and graduating with honors) You can do it too. It all starts with tomorrow. August 9th, 2014 sounds like a great day for you to start your new life. Your new Sober life!

Verte

In my experience, it takes an enormous amount of courage to put yourself out there whether it be on an anonymous forum or in person. Nice job Make note of every victory or accomplishment during each day, no matter how small you think each may be. The seemingly teensy ones add up, becoming this giant ball of good that picks up speed and you never want the genuine feeling of good to stop. Like when you are working, did you respond kindly to someone and make them smile? Make note. Lift with your legs and not your back? Make note. The teensy notes and goals set the stage for bigger ones. And the bigger accomplishments will come in time. Apply a great sports strategy to your life...it really works!!

Do you have a doctor (counselor, therapist, psychologist or social worker) to work out a plan with to get you on a good road for yourself and your son? There are some really good resources listed here on the main page and available in your community.

You do not have to do any of this alone. So happy to see that you are posting