AlliH

Last night I drank. I got terribly drunk and cried while I apologized to people for being so drunk. I fell in some bushes and had a security guard offer to get me a wheel chair. I'm mortified. I was doing so well until this.

I need some advice on how to talk to my fiancé about my problem. I've tried to whole "I need your support/help", but he doesn't get it. How do I explain my problem to him? I'm not even sure what I specifically need help with and how to explain that to him. Any advice would be appreciated.

megacrankcase

So sad to read this. All you can do is be honest as possible with him and hope he understands. Maybe he can attend some meetings with you? Or you can provide him with some literature.

AlliH

I've tried but I don't think he understands how bad it is for me.

quitforme79

I do not miss those nights Glad you are here reaching out! Honestly, YOU are the only one who can stop drinking. Whether or not people are supportive won't keep you sober. Or drunk. Have you spoken to a professional such as a dr or therapist? More people will be along soon with some great advice. I stay sober with the program of AA. Recovery has given me a second chance at an amazing life. I wish you the best!

quitforme79

I see you are in FL...there are AA meetings all over the place! I went to one when I was visiting down there last week, everyone is really welcoming

AlliH

I know it's stupid, but I'm embarrassed to go.

Hawk07

I'm sorry Alli, many people who don't have this 'problem' don't understand just how hard it is to stop. They don't understand why we can't just stop or drink normally. Maybe you've already done this but start by telling him you want to stop drinking and that you need his support and help. period. Keep it simple. Have you tried AA? gone to a meeting?

quitforme79

I was so nervous when I went to my first meeting. But what's more embarassing? The silly things we do when drinking or admitting we have a problem , need help and taking initiative to change? AA will always be there if you change your mind

AlliH

I'm embarrassed to go to meetings... I know, it's silly. And I'm also working about 75 hours a week right now, so it's hard to find time.

ReadyAtLast

Most people don't 'get' it. I really wanted people to understand at first but now I don't waste any time worrying about it. The best and only thing to do is concentrate all your energies on getting and staying sober,whether that's AA,AVRT,SMART,therapy, SR anything. find what works for you and work at it.

In time when your fiance sees you sober hopefully that will be better for your relationship. Whilst he can be supportive thereisn't actually anything he can do nor can he help you as such. other than supporting what you are doing. This is something you need to do for yourself

Bilr44

Us alcoholics, me included, are really good at making excuses to keep drinking. You said you were embarrassed and apologetic when you got wasted last night. Also, with the too busy for support part, you are finding time in that schedule to drink, right? I've been there and done all that so this is not criticism, just reality.

LBrain

If you can find the time to drink, you already had the time to go to a meeting.
Prioritize your time.

Verte

Hi Alli,

You are back at Day1 and feeling low.

Now you just need to really look at what is going on, what you want, and how you are going to get there. You wrote once that you are a very driven individual, so harness this drive and come up with a good plan to maintain sobriety.

My circle of friends always made it OK for me when I got crazy drunk. Because we are young, have the rest of of lives, right? So wrong.

Your Fiancé may not understand right now. You need to behave and do what is in your best interests and the rest will come. Think about what 'support' at home means for you today. Take steps to have that support all around you 24/7.

If you are working 75hours a week and do not have time for group support or a therapist appointment, then the only suggestion I have is to make the time.

If you are going to commit to sobriety for yourself then you need to do just that, commit.

You can do this. You are a powerful young woman. Harness this and move forward!

**and stick around here when you are not working. Post away!! Read a lot. You need support.

Anna

I agree, sobriety has to be the priority or it won't work.

If you talk to your fiancée, you can simply say that you have a problem with alcohol and you aren't going to drink anymore. It's likely he won't understand, because most people do not. But, you know what you need to do and you can do it, and eventually he will see the changes in you.

Raider

Your husband may never really understand. My H doesn't understand it. He knows I want to stay sober but he doesn't understand how hard it is, or that if I have one, I'll be off to the races again. Guess that's ok. Not everyone gets a crash course in addiction in a 30 day inpatient rehab.

AlliH

I told my fiancé that I want to stop drinking and that it's hard for me to lot drink when he suggests going to a bar. I need a lot of support. Right now, I'm in the "self-loathing" stage.

Chicagoan

First of all, do not beat yourself up,
we are mere mortals very capable
of making wrong decisions. Pick
yourself up, dust yourself off, and
carry on. You do matter.

Breadfin

Falling into bushes and having a security guard try to put you into a wheelchair is embarrassing. Attending an AA meeting is a sign of strength, resolve, dedication, and determination.

AlliH

I'm aware. I didn't come here to be embarrassed further.

whiskeyman

When you walk thru those doors you will find the strength to conquer this.
It happened to me. And I was the last one i thought it would help and i was terrified to go in.

I cannot look back