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Old 04-27-2014, 04:47 PM
  # 121 (permalink)  
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Looks like I made it to the end. I skipped some of your posts as it started to get repetitive.
I'm using this phone so forgi ve me.
mr tokyo. You have contradicted yourself numerous ntimes. Im not ure exactly what you are trying to accomplish. (Insert here things Dee would have to delete).
You "can't go to rehab" or take the necessary steps to "correct" the situation. Assuming your situation needs to be corrected.
Well my friend. Good luck in the new job. And since your financial situation is not dependent on this job it won't nreally matter when they letnyou go because you couldn't control your drinking. Just because you are master of the universe today doesn't mean your star ship has impervious shields.
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Old 04-27-2014, 04:57 PM
  # 122 (permalink)  
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Sorry but... Yikes!

Trying to make someone blind see the sun come up is futile in my humble Alcoholic opinion.

And so it is
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Old 04-27-2014, 04:59 PM
  # 123 (permalink)  
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Just a reminder to keep your comments constructive and helpful, please.

D
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Old 04-27-2014, 05:06 PM
  # 124 (permalink)  
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When I was in jail for 2 months for my last DWI I met a young man of 19, we became friends and worked together in jail . He told me he was going to college and told me his story, DWI at 16 - probation violation for POT - 30 days jail. Told me he probably lost his job , so I told him to stop by my shop , maybe I could teach him something. His father brought him and I found out most of what he had told me was lies! I wasn't surprised, just diappointed! His father sat there telling us how he gets abusive and violent when he drinks and smokes, to the physical assault on him and his wife. The kid laughing all the time saying he can do what he wants. Found out he never finished HS or got a GED, so he wasn't going to college , he was just going to drink and smoke weed. He left with his father and called me a few days later and after some silly nasty texts from him , I told him not to bother to call me till he woke up and got some respect for himself, his parents and for me and my SO, (she wanted to beat him up the way he talked to his dad), I had to cut him loose for my sanity! I told his father he would be on the park bench around the corner from his house till he got RESPECT! Sorry if this is off topic but I needed to rant! Stay Strong And Well ! Bobby
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Old 04-27-2014, 05:22 PM
  # 125 (permalink)  
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Definition of an enabler is:

A person or thing that makes something possible.

So if someone wanted to quit drinking, after being unable to control or eliminate drinking by the self, how could I enable them to fail?

1. Tell them everything will be fine and they can do this by themselves
2. Give them advice in how to quit drinking when I have no idea of how I quit drinking myself.
3. Give a false impression of how my way to quit drinking is working for me when really there is nothing I would prefer to do but get away with having one drink.

I am sure there are many other examples.

How can I help a person to quit drinking?

Quit drinking myself and then share my story of how I did it using a detailed and structured methodology so they can copy what I did with ease and achieve the same result. Unfortunately this is high on impossible to do without being face to face so if you want to find out how to quit drinking find someone who has the sobriety you want and ask them how they did it. You will find many such people in AA:-)

My story is that, in hindsight, I used SR as an enabler for a bit but kept coming back and there were enough people on here to give me some tough love to ensure that I didn't keep coming back every few weeks to post how id drunk again yo be told it will all be ok just try again for the 1000th time...1001s a charm lol
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Old 04-27-2014, 05:54 PM
  # 126 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I removed several posts under rule 4.

D
Thank you. I understand your obligations as a moderator.
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Old 04-27-2014, 06:04 PM
  # 127 (permalink)  
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Again, thank you all for your support and advice.

I am currently on 3 mg Clonazepam and about 500 ML whiskey. I feel comfortable.

I am not trying to glorify my substance use. I hate it. I truly, truly hate it. I want to heal. Thank you for being here for me. Someday, I wlll recover.
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Old 04-27-2014, 06:31 PM
  # 128 (permalink)  
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I feel comfortable.
most of us did - for a long time.

But I reiterate - you came here for some reason...and although you've spent a goodly amount of time here running away from that, that reason still stands.

D
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Old 04-27-2014, 06:44 PM
  # 129 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Kabukicho View Post
Right now, my substance abuse SEEMS to be increasing my quality of life. It is decreasing my anxiety and improving my depression.
I felt the same way for a long, long time. And then you know what? I woke up one morning and it started doing the polar opposite. My anxiety started to increase, depression started to mount and within no time I was in pure hell. It was then that I really understood what addiction was. Before that it was pretty much sunshine and roses for me (with the occasional hangover). I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that while you might feel this way now, I can guarantee you it won't last forever.

I hope you're able to find peace and sobriety. It's definitely worth it!
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Old 04-27-2014, 07:05 PM
  # 130 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Kabukicho View Post
Comparing myself to other people is no use. I can relate, but our individual pain is very different. That is the nature of psychological pain. It is almost impossible to empathize with another's psychological pain. We each live, in our minds, in our own separate infernos.
I can't completely agree with what you said. Yes, pain is a personal matter, and nobody can completely understand a person's pain, but most people can relate one way or another. If this wasn't true, then seeking help and compassion from other people would be useless. Our pain might be unique to us, but others can relate to the type of pain based on their own experiences. For example, everyone has experienced the pain of losing a loved one. That pain might might be a little different from person to person, but most people can understand that kind of pain. You see this all the time on SR, people relating to each other. IMO, for an alcoholic to feel nobody can understand him/her is a dangerous place to me. Connections is what keeps people sober.
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Old 04-27-2014, 09:12 PM
  # 131 (permalink)  
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Well. it's midnight. I am drunk as sh*t and I am loaded up on bezos. But I can't sleep.

Tolerance is a load of garbage, and I hate it.

I am going to get sober.
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Old 04-27-2014, 10:08 PM
  # 132 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Kabukicho View Post
Well. it's midnight. I am drunk as sh*t and I am loaded up on bezos. But I can't sleep.

Tolerance is a load of garbage, and I hate it.

I am going to get sober.
Good for you.
btw I did not know there was a three hours difference between Tokyo and Seattle. Your post is stamped 9pm my time.which should be midnight on the East Coast ....
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Old 04-27-2014, 10:19 PM
  # 133 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Carlotta View Post
Good for you.
btw I did not know there was a three hours difference between Tokyo and Seattle. Your post is stamped 9pm my time.which should be midnight on the East Coast ....
It's actually daytime in Tokyo now, Carlotta.
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Old 04-27-2014, 10:33 PM
  # 134 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Kabukicho View Post
Well. it's midnight. I am drunk as sh*t and I am loaded up on bezos. But I can't sleep.

Tolerance is a load of garbage, and I hate it.

I am going to get sober.
Actually, Kabukicho, the way things are going I don't think you are going to get sober.

Recovery and sobriety are about purposeful intention and committed action inside the understanding of human frailty. Sobriety and recovery are difficult and require a plan. The plans have to be flexible as your situation changes on the journey. Taking your posts at face value, right now your plan is future based promises, stated desire and posting on SR. It's going to take more than that to achieve sobriety.

A good way to start a plan is with the statement, "Starting right now this is what I'm doing to achieve / maintain sobriety" and then putting the plan into action. This is where SR can offer you support by helping you put together the plan and then holding you accountable as you work the plan. All you have to do is reach out and ask for the help.
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Old 04-27-2014, 11:06 PM
  # 135 (permalink)  
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Kabucki Cho. You should probably get out of that area. Excuses are sad.
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Old 04-28-2014, 03:08 AM
  # 136 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by yeahgr8 View Post
Definition of an enabler is:

A person or thing that makes something possible.

So if someone wanted to quit drinking, after being unable to control or eliminate drinking by the self, how could I enable them to fail?

1. Tell them everything will be fine and they can do this by themselves
2. Give them advice in how to quit drinking when I have no idea of how I quit drinking myself.
3. Give a false impression of how my way to quit drinking is working for me when really there is nothing I would prefer to do but get away with having one drink.

I am sure there are many other examples.

How can I help a person to quit drinking?

Quit drinking myself and then share my story of how I did it using a detailed and structured methodology so they can copy what I did with ease and achieve the same result. Unfortunately this is high on impossible to do without being face to face so if you want to find out how to quit drinking find someone who has the sobriety you want and ask them how they did it. You will find many such people in AA:-)

My story is that, in hindsight, I used SR as an enabler for a bit but kept coming back and there were enough people on here to give me some tough love to ensure that I didn't keep coming back every few weeks to post how id drunk again yo be told it will all be ok just try again for the 1000th time...1001s a charm lol

oh I wish whoever sold the idea of an "enabler" was enabled to keep his mouth shut before he did it.

i mean in psychology
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Old 04-28-2014, 03:50 AM
  # 137 (permalink)  
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Kabukicho, keep saying to yourself that you will get sober. Things can only progress to bad and possibly to worse if you don't, but until you get there, you may not believe me.

You can stay stopped and you can recover!!! (that post came up as midnight on my site, and I am east coast)
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Old 04-28-2014, 03:56 AM
  # 138 (permalink)  
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Xanax is - or seems - a great way to "beat the system". You (think you) can really stop your hangovers in its tracks, feel half normal until you start drinking again later in the day. This can work for quit a long time. And hey, you are not a "true alcoholic", as you don't drink during the day, right?! (ahem...)

The problem is that at one point - a point that will come - you start withdrawing from the benzos while you are drinking and withdrawing from the alcohol when you take the xanax in the morning.

Then you start doing both at the same time, creating a double dose of insanity. Next, both stop working and you fall off a cliff. That's when the horror really comes, and trust me, it is not something you would wish on your worst enemy. (so far for me enabling you)

Kabukichō, I think you somehow feel you are pretty close to that cliff. Am I right? Just know that there are people who have been where you are, and have been able to leave the madness and horror behind. And although we can never truly know what someone else feels, I'm pretty sure I can make an educated guess in your case.
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Old 04-28-2014, 06:00 AM
  # 139 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by caboblanco View Post
what does being such a self proclaimed hot shot have to do with having addiction or mental health issues?

Unless we are talking npd here
+100000000
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Old 04-28-2014, 06:26 AM
  # 140 (permalink)  
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I am currently in Boston on vacation. I also don't think I registered properly in regard to the time-stamps. Hence the discrepancies.

I don't think I'm going to get sober anytime soon.

I have too many stressful things going on in my life.
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