PaperDolls

I still get annoyed at some of the stuff in the book. It is possible to set it aside and stay sober. I'm not saying it's easy but there are plenty of of us in the rooms and here at SR that are able to do it.

Coldfusion

It is my opinion that the Big Book was written at a time and by people when there was an awareness that the way it was written was dated and trite. It was designed to make people say, "This is not for me! I am going to do it MY way!" Alcoholics tend to be stubborn, and the program has always catered to this.

kiki1988

Yeah. I think one of the things I need to do is be more selective about what meetings I go to. I really enjoyed the speaker meeting I went to on Friday so I'll definitely go back to that one. Since I'm only 10 days in I have kind of been going to everything to find out what suits me.

Tomorrow I'm meeting an addiction therapist at 5.30. so hopefully she will help, and since it is on in the same building at 7, I think I might as well go to the women's only meeting right after. Also hoping I might find someone willing to sponsor me there. I know I'll need someone with a short leash since I am obviously going to be a bit of a handful!

ru12

You need to post more other painter!

Sparkos

Just an afterthought, I posted earlier.
Has anyone read the NA Big Book. It's written in a far more modern parlance and may make it more accessible to you.

There is still a small religious bias but, if you're not that way inclined, it doesn't get the hackles up.

kiki1988

I'll bear that in mind Sparkos and look into it.

Joe Nerv

Wait till you read the chapter to wives .

PaperDolls

I got sober at a women's meeting and I attend one every week these days. Very helpful for me.

I love that you're checking to see which meetings are best for you. That's all you can do.
That's what willingness is sistah.

FeenixxRising

Yes, I've also had a problem with what I consider to be an strong Christian flavor to AA. However, I find it important to keep in mind my definition of a higher power whenever the words God or Faith are used. I suggest finding some definition of an HP that you're comfortable with and then thinking of that definition whenever God or Faith or Higher Power are used in AA.

However, if you're having troubling reconciling the spiritual aspect of AA with your own beliefs, please don't ever think this will cause you to drink again. When AA came around their weren't many options that enabled alcoholics to use "human power" to stay sober. But now, there are many options that you can use either in place of AA or along with AA.

Hope this helps a little.

courage2

Hey kiki -- I'm an atheist and I go to meetings. Sometimes it's hard to relate to those who have faith, but I'm not there to get faith, I'm there to get sober, which includes tolerance for others' beliefs. Yes, the BB is full of god. I don't read the BB -- maybe I will some day, but I'm still mocus enough I can't read much, let alone that.

PS I've been privately told there are lots of nonbelievers in meetings and that for all the people who you might be offending, there's a newcomer or struggling skeptic in the room, who's thinking, if she doesn't believe and is getting sober, maybe I can, too!

ru12

Perhaps you could just go to the meetings and share in the fellowship of a sober community. You don't have to believe anything to go to the meetings. The only requirement is a desire to stop drinking. It seems to me you have that.

soberlicious

Hi Kiki
I had similar feelings. When it comes to not drinking alcohol, I am my own higher power. I say that fully realizing that the universe operates on powers far greater than me. But I'm not talking about the phases of the moon causing the tides to change, animals adapting, new life being formed, the Grand Canyon, the Higgs boson particle, and all the other amazing wonders of the universe. I see those things and I acknowledge them as beautiful, extraordinary, breathtaking, and certainly not of my doing. But drinking or not drinking?? Totally within my power.

For me, the cognitive dissonance outweighed the need for fellowship. I succeeded in carving out a beautiful life for myself as a nondrinker without a formal program. If you can work this out and you want to, go for it, but if you can't or don't want to, rest assured you certainly can be a happy, healthy young woman and lead an authentic life. You do have the power to do that. Xo

Tamerua

That would work and you can totally tell your sponsor that!

Notmyrealname

Seems like this is a good time for this old gem:



Did you hear about the insomniac dyslexic agnostic?

He wakes up in the middle of the night wondering if there's a dog.

wpainterw

Not sure what you're getting at here. Do you mean that it was purposely written to appear dated and trite so that alcoholics would get angry with it and want to "do it their way"? I can't believe that the program was designed to cater to stubborn people.
My own take on the Big Book is that it has never lost the influence that the Oxford Group had over its origins. Other than that reading it is a little like watching an old movie from the mid 20th Century, when men all wore hats and smoked pipes and cigars indoors, when women were "housewives" or were referred to as the "little woman", when children dressed well and "behaved", asking to be excused when they left the dinner table, when mortgages were obtained from and held by one's local bank, when setter dogs rode in "station wagons" (traveling down the "Lincoln Highway"), when there were no "cruise ships"- only transatlantic steamers, when kids drank milkshakes at drugstore counters, when heroin was rarely consumed by professional or business people, never by high school kids. "Gone with the Wind!"

W.

wpainterw

P.S. How many of us remember when the prototype of the alcoholic was a middle aged male, out of a job, unshaven, wearing a stained and rumpled suit. Women alcoholics were a rarity. Alcoholism was thought to be a result of a man's having been "bad" and the only way he would stop being "bad" would be to repent and get right with God. Then he'd sober up and be able to help other men to stop being "bad". If you were a "nonbeliever" your chances weren't too good, unless you were able to "go and get a good grip on yourself". If you weren't able to do that your grandmother might say, "That's the silliest thing I ever heard! If you get into trouble I hope that will be a lesson to you!" Women were rarely addicted. When they were they would drink or drug in secret, like the mother in Eugene O'Neill's "Long Day's Journey Into Night", who would make surreptitious trips "down to the drugstore"

W.

tomsteve

have ya by chance read the chapter "we agnostics?"

sugarbear1

My favorite is "A Vision For You"

"There Is A Solution" rings true for me.

AA isn't the only way nor is it for everyone, but if you find you can't stay stopped or life generally sucks after becoming sober for a period of time, then maybe AA steps can help you. Those steps are where I find a power greater than myself....whom I still choose to call my higher power.....

There are so many methods available today to help you stay stopped, have you researched any of them?

digdug

Honestly, Tom. As an atheist coming into the program, I read the chapter over and over, and it still didn't do much for me. But it did get me through the second step because I could at least admit I didn't know everything and that there was a possibility of something greater than myself.

It wasn't until I did some extremely diligent third step work that I was able to reconcile my lack of belief in the traditional God and my willingness to turn my will and life over to the care of my higher power.

biminiblue

kikki, you'll find your way. "Conscience" can be known as a higher power, and you are in touch with that about yourself.

This blog post here on the site by Badger1 is really good, he talks about how he came to see a way to make the language match his non-belief. It's sciency and non-religious yet accepts the mystery.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...96-step-3.html