brazilian

happycampers

morning, everyone ! I always like to learn and someone mentioned a book on SR a week ago, which I ordered. I read it over the last couple of days and basically, it's premise is that the DOC is just a symptom , a substitute action, not the real issue.They take the place of a more direct response to feelings of helplessness/powerlessness in a particular situation. A overwhelming feeling of being "trapped". I mention this book because it definitely registered with me ! I knew pot wasn't the issue, per se, but more the underlying stuff. This book has helped clarify some of that up for me. Anyways, wanted to mention here in case it may resonate with one of you guys. I'd rather focus on solving the underlying stuff, so then the craving for escape doesn't need to haunt me. Anyways, the book is Breaking Addiction:A Seven Step Handbook for Ending Your Addiction. I think it was like $11 . I hope everyone feels a bit better today !

krete77

ive never had problems sleeping in my entire life and this last week i've had the worst nights of sleep ever.

last night was filled with anxiety through the roof. i literally thought i was going to die, and even felt like i had died last night and woke up this morning in a dream.

i have been having the weirdest craziest dreams as well...i can't even begin to explain how nuts they are lol.

but honestly, i woke up today at 8am, having ended passing out at 2am last night..i was in bed by 1 though, better than the 3am i've been doing for the past year, and i feel much better today, much more refreshed.

i dont think i've ever had a day filled with as much anxiety as i had yesterday.

is my body healing itself from the years of abuse?

brazilian

I had a bad night too. Tried to sleep from 11pm to 03am. Nerve-racking.

But after all, had a good night sleep and woke up at 10am feeling fine.

Healing process? In my case, I don't think so... almost 3 months now.... I think it's more like the underlying anxiety and extreme tension that is manifesting without the substances that used to make me numb and sleepy... I have to improve my diet, cut out the coffee, exercise my body, meditate, pray more, avoid negative thoughts about the future, etc etc etc, then I surely will sleep fine. But it's hard to be "perfect" like that, I'm failing on 90% of these actions. But I'll try harder, if I can.

Tonight was rough. But it's another day now. I will buy some melatonin on iherb to improve my sleep.

Have a good day everyone.



Day 86...

krete77

brazillian it sounds like we are going through the exact same thing.

rough times for sure. and i think youre right, the underlying issues which have been numbed for years (probably 13 years or more in my case) are manifesting themselves...

scary part is i don't know how to deal with it....YET.

brazilian

Yes krete we are together on this.

I believe there are many aspects to be dealt with...

I believe very much on the spiritual aspect, for example.. that I need to put some more effort on.. the psychological aspect, that I believe to be treating on therapy, very slowly though.

And the physical/ nutritional aspect. You Krete did a great thing, cutting off the caffeine. I need to do it, or at least cut down. I need to exercise as well, I'm a very lazy person. That being said, I think some vitamins may help in this nutritional aspect, I did some research and will try a few things. Beginning today I will take a good dose of magnesium at night. Maybe I'll try some melatonin and retry 5-HTP. Maybe.

I ordered some methionine and spirulina to help detox my liver (I have non-alcoholic hepatic steatosis, need to heal my liver ASAP).

Krete I hope you manage to have a good day my friend. Remember the connection, it helps go through the dark nights, and I sure hope you have better nights ahead. Take care

wackybunny

Sorry to hear you guys are having a bit of a rough time of it. What about PAWS? I read that can occur for a long time after quitting. And of course there are just life issues that happen, addict or not, which are hard to deal with. And you guys gave up drinking which would add another level of complexity (not my doc so easier for me).

I had great anxiety several weeks after stopping daily weed and the only way I was able to cope was to completely give in to it, accept it was just something I was going to have to feel for a while and it was ok. When I was fighting symptoms I gave them too much power. When I totally surrendered they went away. For me, the worst part of insomnia is the obsession with trying to sleep. If I gave up on sleeping and got out of bed and watched a movie or read a book, it was better.

I had done MAJOR work on overcoming worry years ago and the only real anxiety problem I had left was caused by weed. If I hadn't overcome the worry before, I'd probably be left dealing with it now. Plus I have a blessed life and no real stress so that helps.

Well done on managing the emotions without turning to the alternatives! We all know they do not help with coping even though the crazy voices in our head (and our addicted friends) tell us they do (and can be quite convincing).

Lorax1981

I think healing takes a long time so stick with it and work on those issues and you'll feel the progress, just takes time.
-Ted

brazilian

Day 87

Stoogy

Well done, what's your celebration plans for the magical 100 days??

brazilian

thanks Stoogy... have no ideia yet :/

Stoogy

You really should spoil yourself, these are the hardest 100 days you will ever have to negotiate, and you have done so remarkably well.

Really proud of you👍

happycampers

what is something you've never done , but always wanted to, Brazilian???

brazilian

Drive a Audi, drive a Corvette, drive a Mercedes AMG, drive a NASCAR car, learn how to drive an helicopter and airplane, travel to New Zealand, Australia, Bora Bora (Tahiti), Canada, California. Swim in the Bahamas. Win the lottery. Find peace, achieve enlightment. Among a few other things LOL.

Funny exercise, excellent question.

How about you?

brazilian

Thanks Stoogy... but I didn't quite do it yet... I think I will manage to, but everyday has been a risk... been craving a lot, fighting huge anxiety etc. But I'll get there. Thanks a lot for your encouragement.

brazilian

What I think I'll do, in ten days from now, when some "anxiety-generating tasks" will be out of my way, is joining an expensive gym near my home, and try harder to take better care of my health. Hopefully it will help me stay on track.

Stoogy

No problem at all, you will get there.
Be strong, Be true, be YOU.

happycampers

That sounds like a Brilliant gift to yourself ! You can always buy a month or two and go from there- see if it's a good fit! It'll give you a close place to go too that's healthy, if all you do is just go and have a sauna.
For me, I'm trying to unload some old, repetitive, useless mental concepts - trying to lighten my "baggage" - so totally not necessary to carry them around anymore, but that ego sure loves to hang on -LOL
Each day is a process and an opportunity to let go more

brazilian

Day 88


Great to see you are doing great, HC.... keep up the good work

happycampers

I think it's a Vince Lombardi saying " Inch by inch, it's a cinch". Well, that "may" be true if we just stick with an inch. Anymore than that and overwhelm could set in which is NEVER good!