ACT10Npack

Where you drinking because of your job or something? Are you having the same amount of stress with the new one?

Trying to understand the reason of drinking.

DoubleDragons

Sometimes we glamorize the things we things we lose in life and forget all of the negatives about the person or place or situation. Ever notice that some real SOBs turn into saints at their funerals??? To live with the regret of giving up your job, I suggest you focus on all of the negative stuff you no longer have to deal with there. (every job has the negatives)

Also, clearly you need to work on recovery. Recovery is so much more than not drinking. You seem to be searching for that "one magic bullet" that is going to fix everything. I hate to burst your bubble, but that doesn't exist. However, life is better and more real and more gratifying sober. Truly, it is. Give yourself a year to really work on yourself and on your recovery and you will be in a much better place to make good career decisions.

Good on you for realizing that alcohol is the real problem!! So funny how that is always the last thing to go when it is so obvious, right?? I made major health changes last year (became a yoga fiend, gave up red meat, Diet Cokes, etc.) but it wasn't until I gave up alcohol that I saw any real changes in my health.

GreenBottles

Bobster, just note that right now you are FEELING alot much worse about the situation than you will after you have not drank for 5 days.
The first 2-3 days might feel a little weird (like you I dont miss beer and also drank alone and just did it to get high cause I was feeling frustrated about my work...)

Of course probably your critique of your situation is correct BUT how you are FEELING about it is alot worse right now cause your body and mind are lethargic from the drinking habit. So when you extrapolate your situation into the future it seems like its going to be alot more arduous than it would seem to you if you reconsider the problem after 5 days free of beer with a mind that is feeling more energy and more power.

Trust me on this one. Go re-read your above post after 5 days off alcohol. Also try to go for a 5km walk each day it helps get the crap out of you faster. If you dont go for the walk it will still get out of you but just slower so more annoying for longer...

KateL

Welcome Bob. Wherever I have worked there have always been diffucult people to deal with and I guess it will always be that way for everyone. But you know that now and can move onward. Well done for making your decision to quit xxxxx

GreenBottles

Oh one more comment bobster. If you include all the costs of stupid decision making due to been beer-heavy that you made in your own domestic life over the last two years of drinking PLUS the cost of the beers then that 30% cut is probably about what you were losing anyways not to mention health costs down the track.
So justify your loss by quiting beer for good.
You might see your ex boss in a month or two and he will see a totally new person again, like the old Bobster and he will ask you if you want to come back....
Things dont sound too bad mate as long as you kick that poisonous crap out of your life THEY the oligarchies who own our slave-state governments LOVE us to drink beer at the end of the day cause it keeps us all docile and dumbed down.

Bobster

Craft beer drinking is a social and taste thing. It became a hobby to find rare beers and try new offerings from local breweries.

I am sure some of my friends are alcoholics and don't know it.

EverySngleNight

I totally understand your meaning bob. My husband was a home-brewer... He quit with me and moved his equipment out of the house. There's a whole culture there!! I can't believe he did it...

Aellyce

Hi Bobster, welcome to SR. You are really doing the right thing trying to quit after a much shorter time of abuse than many of us.

I also decided to finally truly give a shot to sobriety primarily because of how drinking has affected my work. Of course I suffered a host of other consequences as well (physical and mental health, lack of social life, etc). But seeing all the negatives regarding my career and motivation has been the hardest bit for me to stay in denial about since I have a job and profession that I absolutely love otherwise and believe it's the most ideal and suitable profession for me in a multitude of ways.

Regrets and rumination are also some of the hardest things I've been dealing with, and I haven't been dealing too well. It's getting a bit better though even after only 6 days sober, because the anxiety is getting better... I try to have rational dialogs in my mind with my ashamed self that it's absolutely useless to ruminate on the past, it happened, I learned from it, now the focus has to be the present and the future. Each time these regretful thoughts come to my mind, I consciously try to distract myself with an activity and change focus. This does not eliminate the feelings completely of course, but I find that repeating this method over and over seems to make it easier because I try not to let myself obsess about things. But the feelings of doom are still there. I just wrote about this yesterday here on SR and someone suggested therapy, which I agree I should try. But today distraction and productive activities are what seem to help best.

Give sobriety a chance, you won't regret trying at least!

Bobster

And the job is more stress because I don't know it as well and doesn't really match my skillset.

Bobster

Yeah it's amazing. I bet there are a lot who are having alcoholism sneak up on them.

Bobster

Yeah, I've had several coworkers come up to me and say th and tell me it was a good move to leave.

I'm just in the stage where no matter where I am, it's miserable.

I gave up diet coke too! That's funny .

Bobster

Thanks, just have to get through this early stage. I get severely depressed at night and sleep like 4 hours.

I was sleeping well at my previous job although I made myself miserable.

justinJustQuit

I just quit a job because there were a bunch of home brewers bringing me beer twice a week. Some were extremely high alcohol content. Being an alcoholic, that was not a situation that I could stay sober through.

Bobster

Thanks, appreciate the kind words, and good luck as well.

I'll try to tell myself that everyone has severe setbacks and regrets. There is no way to know how the other path would have turned out, could have been worse.

But it is tough. There are so many things that could have stopped this. It was like a perfect storm.

But then something else would have happened.

I now wish I had gotten. A dui on 2012 so that I would have had a wake up call earlier.

Pamel

Sorry if I am chuckling a bit here, but I betcha you are a lot younger than 68 (me). If you quit now, you will have a terrific life, and you will not have to look back at decades of missed opportunities etc.

I am very grateful for the hope that, in 5 years (if I live that long and stay sober) I won't have to look back at THOSE 5 years of (supply negative consequences of drinking).

Quit. You won't ever wake up the next morning and say: "I wish I had drank yesterday."

Really, good luck to you and welcome here.

Dee74

Welcome Bobster

Lots of good advice here

all I can add is the further away from my mistakes I get, the less they seem to matter.

The Universe has a way of giving me what I need, even if that's not always the same as what I want. Maybe your destiny is to get back to where you were - or it may be something better

wishing you good luck either way - and great decision to get sober - that can only help future Bobster

D

bigsombrero

You asked how I deal with regret? Well, I regret lots of things. I regret not sticking with my first girlfriend...and my second...and that gorgeous brunette I hung out with 3 years ago. And so on, and so on.

I was once a fairly high-level manager at an Ad/PR firm and had a nice office on Michigan Ave in downtown Chicago. View of Grant Park and Lake Michigan out my window every day. Meetings on the 80th floor of the AON with posh PR firms, major drug companies, and the whole nine yards. I had money, nice suits, had risen up the chain and was still just in my mid-30s. After 10 years at the company, the alcoholism got me, and I had to quit my job because I simply couldn't handle it anymore. I was unemployed for over a year, spent my entire savings on booze and ended up broke, alone, and in the hospital and nearly dead. No girlfriend, no money, no job. The last of my money was spent on treatment...and thank god, it has stuck.

Fast forward 1.5 years and I'm still sober and I work with a start-up technology company. I make a fraction of what I used to make, and my responsibilities are pretty low-brow sometimes. My hope is that the company does well, and that I can once again work my way up, little by little. I'm basically starting my professional career over from the bottom, at age 38.

But you know what man? I wouldn't go back to that old job if you paid me a million dollars. I have had to change my ENTIRE LIFE over the past 1.5 years...the way I see things is different now, and I live by a new philosophy. Going back to that old job - even with the pay - would be a huge step backwards for me. Almost like if you made me go back to high school or something. A pointless regression.

You really need to know what your'e facing with this sobriety thing here. I drank my entire life and had no clue how to live as a sober adult. You'll have to face some major obstacles and dealing with them along the way is a huge job in itself. Again, I highly recommend you keep your recovery as a top priority....you will soon see what I mean. Sobriety is a wild, intense ride and you will need a lot of time to devote to this project. Don't even worry about that old job right now, I'd say.

Squizz

This. If this is your definition of hitting rock bottom, you're WAY ahead of the learning curve. I went to jail twice, was homeless twice, got a DUI, etc. before I finally quit for good.

Don't let that fool you though: You probably *are* an alcoholic. Quit while you're ahead.

PaulinaPolitely

The message at church this a.m. had kind of an interesting tack, one that might be appropriate for your situation.

We as human beings seldom go in a straight line, as in make decisions in an orderly fashion leading to our goal. Our goal isn't always the right one anyway. Example given re: life - is it like making a movie (where you can do 20 "takes" to get the scene right), or more like a football game, where there is only one shot, and a fumble or turnover or ? can change the entire direction of the game. Life is more like football. We don't get "do-overs" in life, we make decisions, sometimes mistakes (as we see it in the present) and move on from there.

I must say though, without drinking some of the goof-ups I make (just naturally) I would attribute to drinking, when in reality some of my dumb mistakes happen regardless.

You're young, but I look back to lots of decisions and directions I went in, and in the end they turned out more "right" than had I originally thought. Had I been able to orchestrate every outcome, my life wouldn't be what it is today.

Down the road it will be clear what happened, and you'll be in a better place because of it.

Bobster

Thanks for the perspective. I'm in my mid 30s.

Taking a big pay whack hurts. It's not like I can go get an MBA now.