Straightshoot

Wow you recover fast, has to be youth. This is helping me also because I am on week 3 of a xanax taper (Dr. prescribed), I feel really good when I skip the recommended days now and headaches and nervous when I have to take it. Weird. Getting too old for this stuff. Never again will I put myself through this.

safe2breathe

i am very thankful for it - and dont think i could have done it without people in AA and people like you.

justinJustQuit

Yeah maybe. Or maybe since my family is full of alcoholics, they've evolved. lol

justinJustQuit

what's that safe? Us coming on here and talking about detox? or just the chatting and support?

safe2breathe

no, im actually very new to this site ... i did my recovery old fashioned in AA meetings ... a LOT of them ... finally worked through the steps and have been sober since.... but people like you keep me sober ... i have been where you are.. i know exactly what youre dealing with -- i remember how crappy it was ... and how much i hated it --- the best i can do is tell you to hang in there and things will get better if you want them to... it isnt easy but it is certainly worth it ... anything worth doing is worth doing right ...

justinJustQuit

True that. I was getting to that point a few days ago until this relapse or slip up or whatever you want to call it. I was crazy happy that i made it through new year's without alcohol. Then one random night i'm at home getting trashed... So bizarre.

safe2breathe

it certainly is.

safe2breathe

i once went 60 days sober (without working any program) and that night drunk as could be... way to celebrate a span of sobriety.

justinJustQuit

that's insane. Oh yeah, my kidneys hurt for like a week of no alcohol. Not sure why... I had complete bloodwork done and the said all was well minus the fact i'm fat, had elevated liver enzymes and high cholesterol.

Maybe it's because I was taking creatine while working out and it put more strain on me.

safe2breathe

it is insane... and i had to start back at day one ..

safe2breathe

but that is how my brain worked...or didnt work ...
sometimes i would have a week or whatever and drink -- and not quit again for weeks-months just because i knew somehow i would screw it up andhave to start over again at day one ...
but everytime i went back into the aa meetings the people just chuckled and asked how field research was working out...
well - not soo great ... im still an alcoholic , powerless with an unmanageable life...

justinJustQuit

Yeah. I just wish AA wasn't so spiritual. I'm not very spiritual. I have no problems admitting im powerless, and no problems knowing it only goes downhill with alcohol.
And i have no trouble admitting im an alcoholic.

MemphisBlues

Well, Just, I found this for younger folks. Says it's for up to age 25, so maybe you just turned 26?

http://www.ncada-stl.org/factsheets/...a_meetings.pdf

justinJustQuit

damn. i turn 27 in may.

MemphisBlues

A decade plus ago, I was totally turned off by the whole spiritual aspect of AA, not to mention the powerlessness part, and, oh yeah, I didn't buy into the disease model of addiction, either.

I even got into an argument with the director of a addiction treatment center for one of the most prodigious hospitals in the south, a medical doctor, recovered alcoholic himself, over the disease aspect of addiction.

So I did my own research for about 11 years and ended up in an AA meeting. IT worked. Of course, I had to dig a pretty deep bottom in order to get it that time.

You don't have to do it.

Now I cling to the spiritual concept of AA. All I had to do was finally appreciate that there just might -- and I know this is hard to believe -- but that there just might be something out there a little more powerful than me. That's all it takes.

It doesn't have to be a Christian God, or a Muslim God, doesn't even have to be a God.

Just something more powerful than me. It took a lot of bottom digging for me to get to that not-so-humble state of humility.

MemphisBlues

Hit some other meetings if the ones you went to are old farts like me. Then again, I had a lot of older farts offer to help me in AA. ANd there's other recovery methods: SMART, RR, counseling, inpatient rehabs.

safe2breathe

what do you personally consider spiritual?
not about the program - just in general.

justinJustQuit

haha it's nothing against older people, but the ones i went to were all people that lost their families and I just found it depressing.

they definitely have the stories. haha.

justinJustQuit

spiritual as in God in general. I don't believe a God cares about alcohol. I believe God could care less about our petty day to day endeavors.

I don't believe that I can get better by putting my power in a God's hands I guess.

safe2breathe

you know spiritual can mean of mind and intellect... meditation is a spiritual practice that can be completely separated from God... a sunrise can be spiritual .. i know this differs from most peoples view of it ... but it is my take on it ...