autan

Let me put it this way, I took a big knock today and went to 2 meetings, I didnt once feel like picking up a drink. I felt able to cope because I feel free from the affects. Of course mentally, I am blaming alcohol for all of my woes, when really it was my abuse of alcohol that did it.

This doesnt leave any wiggle room for the addictive voice to whisper. I can see light at the end of the tunnel and each day it is getting brighter. The pharmacist asked me was I taking any other medication and I said no only a vitamin b complex and vitamin c with Glutathione (which has probably saved my life).

She said do you drink alcohol, to which I proudly replied, not anymore. She asked how long had I been stopped and I said I havent had a drink in 8 days and thats the truth too.

She said, your fine to take the medication now, but last drink, really was your last, any break in the medication could be fatal if mixed with alcohol.

It felt good to say I no longer drink. Things are getting better everyday and I gratefully accept that.

Thank you for your support, I do not know, if without the members on this forum and the forum itself, if my Son, would have Father this time next year.

For this I am eternally grateful.

Kris47

Autan,

Your guardian angels got to you just in time. Saved from the devil on both counts. What a reminder that you have come this far and can continue to do so. We all here are rooting for you. Congrats on week 2.

Kris47

autan

Thank you, I am sure it was the Devil that saved me from the Angels, but thats another story. Into week 2 and feeling positive. Thank you for your support.

browngirl

Thanks for the honesty in sharing this story. This is the first time I have ever joined a group to try to quit. I've had your recent experience many times.

autan

This is a great place to be, members really do care and understand because they are not therapists with fancy letters after their names, they are fellow warriors. I say warriors because there are some battle hardened members, who's experiences and shares of stories have helped me in my battle with booze.

I in turn will also share and be there for all and any that need me.

Welcome to Sober Recovery .

autan

Just checking in. Day 9 sober.

Last night I had no AV at all. I have no physical signs of withdrawal either. It has taken 9 days and I feel free. I have put that old drinking life behind me and I am waking up to a new chapter in my life.

As I have said before, I am not looking to become a Holy than thou type, enlightened sage or guru.

My aim was to remove the dependancy I had on alcohol, because it was destroying my family life, my business because I couldn't function properly, my home because I was hiding bottles everywhere and my health, I am now on Hormone Replacement Therapy for Life because my Thyroid no longer provides my body with enough Thyroxine to live. Alcohol has cost me dear and I have cut my losses and ties with it, before it wants more from me.

Day 9 feels like I have turned a corner, more so this time than any other time, because I know, there wont be another day 9 again. This is my last chance or the chance that allows me to escape intact.

To any newbies that are thinking of giving up or are giving up, I am proverbially "climbing without a rope". There is no reset button for me, if I fall this time back in to drinking, I am dead. For reason mentioned earlier. When you have climb without a rope, you do not allow yourself to make mistakes, there is no room for complacency.

In my case my illness means I am practically climbing without a rope, but mentally you can say the same, you have an illness too that will claim your life sooner or later.

The effects of this way of thinking have been profound, last night for the first time since 1994 when I first started drinking, I can honestly and truthfully say, I didnt even feel like picking up that first drink.

I am very happy about that fact.

FreeOwl

the other bright side is that you're alive today because you CHOSE to live sober in time.

You could get down about it, call yourself nasty names, beat yourself up that you didn't make the choice sooner.... all kinds of ways we can shame and berate ourselves.

Or, you could celebrate. Because you, Sir, are ALIVE and you are a sober warrior living a life of joyous possibility.

autan

You silver tongue devil, you. Posts like this could keep me sober for several lifetimes with a smile on face. Thank you for a lovely and optimistic post, a nice post for a lovely day.

121313

Autan, I am so glad to hear that you realized that sobriety has so much more to offer than a good drunk ever did. It's a good sign that you turned your relapse back around so quickly and will use it as a future motivating memory...good luck and Happy New Year!

ClearMind

Good job Autan! Keep up the good work.

autan

Day 11 checkin. Spent the day with family so haven't posted until now.

I was at the Marina this afternoon and saw the bar I used to drink in, saw the boats of drinking buddies and remember some of the parties on the boats.

For about 10 seconds, I wanted a drink and then I looked at my Son, riding his bike by himself and both my Wife and I, were with him. My Wife smiled at me and I smiled back.

We didnt say anything, but she knew as did, then I had chosen her and the family and life without drink and finally left that old life behind, like an old toy.

Long live sobriety.

Aellyce

So wonderful, autan! You are on the right track!

Kris47

Life can be dang good!

autan

It does feel do very different this time. Little things area also starting to return which I would like to share.

Taste being one of them. I might sound weird but I have really noticed that food has started to taste again. I never realised it had gone until it came back.

The money in my pocket is going further, because I am not buying alcohol, so thats a bonus.

My love of tea has increased off the chart.

I have a large collection of different teas now and I get great delight in looking at the pictures on the boxes and smelling the different components added to the tea.

Right now, I am settling down with a very delicious cup of Pomegranate Green Tea. Only 1 Calorie too.

I have a special cup and silverware to strain the tea and prepare it to drink.

My Wife also enjoys the tea and so we have spent nearly every night of the past week or so, sitting down and talking about them and where they have come from and comparing the different ones.

When I was drinking alcohol I had an altogether different ritual before drinking. I find a ritual is as an addictive as the drink and so the new rituals with tea and coffee (which is drank for less than before), is very important and I think has only added to my enjoyment of being sober.

I highly recommend it to everyone, if your that way inclined.

dbj4190

Awesome job autan... This is great to hear! People like you and hearing you walked away are what helps keeping me sober! Just know that it can be done!

GreenBottles

Now you know you can go at least two months. Now go try for 2 years.

My best in the last 20 years was 10 days.

I am here on day 5.

I am same. I can't even have ONE BEER. If I have it I dont care what is going on I will find an excuse to have another 6 pack in the next hour. Then when that is finished another and another and another.
Someone once asked me why I don't just buy a box of 24, or two boxes of 24. They dont get it that I am ALWAYS trying to give up.

Its the same prison with smoking. Somone once asked me why I dont have an ashtray in my house, why I dont buy an ashtray. Why would I buy an ashtray? I am giving up one day and then what will I do with it?

autan

Day 12 checking in. My skin is beginning to look clearer. My Wife says I smell a zillion times better. My taste has returned as well as smell. I enjoy waking up and not being sick especially on a Monday morning. No hangovers or depression.

I have not craved alcohol for about a week now and my AV is silent. I feel like I did 20 years ago when I first started college and the world was new and exciting again.

This time being Sober feel far more real than other times I got Sober. I think on the other attempts I got Sober with the end goal of trying to be normal, to be able to drink responsibly and carry on as I was but drinking normally.

Whereas this time, I have accepted that I will never drink again, not least because of my medical issues which are now under control through medication. I know can exist as I am with the small changes to my outlook, and life and a future without alcohol indefinitely.

I would like to thank everyone for their support and I am here to help others achieve sobriety as I have. It is so worth it. I am a genuinely a very very happy person and compare that to where I was 2 weeks ago, is astounding.

GreenBottles

I had a massive relapse last two days as well. About 40 beers, 5 packs of cigerettes, 2 grams of coke, fight at a yacht club, fight on the highway with a driver who cut in front of me, fight at a University with the Brasilians about the world cup shouting at them that they should all be studying and investing effort in making sure the world cup is a success to create a 6 billion dollar tourist industry, then a fight with my neighbour telling her off about neglecting her dog and its puppies. Then the night ended with my girlfriend arriving to see me dishevelled and 40 beer cans in the kitchen then her shouting abuse at me and leaving.

Great huh? And I think the rest of the time was filled in with talking rubbish about everything and anything.

GreenBottles

In your case Autun, having a beer is like jumping off a cliff.
In my case having a beer means I will be drunk for a few days and if I am lucky will not have lost anymore friends or got arrested drinking driving.

ClearMind

Good job, autan.

Waiting for you to check in today! It's funny how your wife thinks you smell better. I definitely lost count of all the times I woke up with booze oozing from my pores, smelling like a brewery.