Not sure I'll make it through the weekend sober
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Dublin
Posts: 23
Don't give up for the weekend! Give up 1 day at a time. On day 6 as well and feeling rocky but I think I can do it if I just take 1 day at a time or even an hour at a time. Worry about tomorrow when it comes. Well done you!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Thanks. Lots of great advice. Some I can try and some are more difficult for other reasons.
Other than sr I'm dealing with this myself. I'm in a country where although fluent enough for daily life and not fluent enough for meetings even if there were any. My wife and her family, and I'm not blaming them, keep enabling me. Despite not drinking all week my wife hasn't even noticed. And despite being a complete non drinker when she goes shopping today she'll ask me what (alcohol) I want. My wife has no idea how bad I get.
On the upside I always feel stronger in the morning. Last night was a windy, snowy, loud night and I had a bad sleep. Before sleeping I read one of my numerous books on alcoholism. Sometimes I read these books and think I'm a problem drinker but last night one passage really hit home and scared me a little. This might has given me the strength for today.
Other than sr I'm dealing with this myself. I'm in a country where although fluent enough for daily life and not fluent enough for meetings even if there were any. My wife and her family, and I'm not blaming them, keep enabling me. Despite not drinking all week my wife hasn't even noticed. And despite being a complete non drinker when she goes shopping today she'll ask me what (alcohol) I want. My wife has no idea how bad I get.
On the upside I always feel stronger in the morning. Last night was a windy, snowy, loud night and I had a bad sleep. Before sleeping I read one of my numerous books on alcoholism. Sometimes I read these books and think I'm a problem drinker but last night one passage really hit home and scared me a little. This might has given me the strength for today.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,534
Originally Posted by Midton 
Thanks. Lots of great advice. Some I can try and some are more difficult for other reasons.
Other than sr I'm dealing with this myself. I'm in a country where although fluent enough for daily life and not fluent enough for meetings even if there were any. My wife and her family, and I'm not blaming them, keep enabling me. Despite not drinking all week my wife hasn't even noticed. And despite being a complete non drinker when she goes shopping today she'll ask me what (alcohol) I want. My wife has no idea how bad I get.
On the upside I always feel stronger in the morning. Last night was a windy, snowy, loud night and I had a bad sleep. Before sleeping I read one of my numerous books on alcoholism. Sometimes I read these books and think I'm a problem drinker but last night one passage really hit home and scared me a little. This might has given me the strength for today.
Other than sr I'm dealing with this myself. I'm in a country where although fluent enough for daily life and not fluent enough for meetings even if there were any. My wife and her family, and I'm not blaming them, keep enabling me. Despite not drinking all week my wife hasn't even noticed. And despite being a complete non drinker when she goes shopping today she'll ask me what (alcohol) I want. My wife has no idea how bad I get.
On the upside I always feel stronger in the morning. Last night was a windy, snowy, loud night and I had a bad sleep. Before sleeping I read one of my numerous books on alcoholism. Sometimes I read these books and think I'm a problem drinker but last night one passage really hit home and scared me a little. This might has given me the strength for today.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
If you need more support, have you thought of online meetings Midton - most recovery methods offer some online component these days? 
Have you discussed things with your wife - seems to be an extraordinarily hard road you're making for yourself, if not?
D
Have you discussed things with your wife - seems to be an extraordinarily hard road you're making for yourself, if not?
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
I haven't told my wife this time. In the past when I do she'll basically just laugh (in a joking not malicious way) and say something like impossible.
In al honesty I don't think my wife knows or has experienced anything near alcoholism, her father and brother hardly ever drink and then only one or two beers and then fall asleep. It is difficult for her to understand where I am at.
Online might be something but I have a problem being told what to do. I have a tendency to take even well-meaning advice as criticism. It's why I'm self employed probably.
Last night I didn't drink and it was a Friday. Today, even though it's a Saturday, I can and will do the same.
In al honesty I don't think my wife knows or has experienced anything near alcoholism, her father and brother hardly ever drink and then only one or two beers and then fall asleep. It is difficult for her to understand where I am at.
Online might be something but I have a problem being told what to do. I have a tendency to take even well-meaning advice as criticism. It's why I'm self employed probably.
Last night I didn't drink and it was a Friday. Today, even though it's a Saturday, I can and will do the same.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
fair enough - only you know your own motives for sure
I can't help but see a little of the old me in your post tho - I didn't want to tell anyone, be told by anyone, or find myself committed to anything I couldn't back out of because in my heart of hearts I wanted to drink again....someday.
If that's just me reflecting, thats fine, but I thought I'd throw it out there
D
I can't help but see a little of the old me in your post tho - I didn't want to tell anyone, be told by anyone, or find myself committed to anything I couldn't back out of because in my heart of hearts I wanted to drink again....someday.
If that's just me reflecting, thats fine, but I thought I'd throw it out there
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Yip, a lot of what you say Dee is true, though it's horrible to admit it. Sadly I doubt, nah know that I will drink again. Even though I know I should stop. I'm trying and I'll keep trying and one day I will succeed.
In the past I've found that when I don't drink it is easy not to drink and it becomes easier and easier. Then I have a bottle of wine, can't even finish it, and gradually return to square one. I wish I could really remember how I felt only last Sunday and even Monday.
I'm going shopping now. I'm going to buy some cheese, some chocolate and come home. After I'm home I know I won't go out again. I'll make it through tonight, this weekend and then who knows.
I'll post tomorrow celebrating my first week.
In the past I've found that when I don't drink it is easy not to drink and it becomes easier and easier. Then I have a bottle of wine, can't even finish it, and gradually return to square one. I wish I could really remember how I felt only last Sunday and even Monday.
I'm going shopping now. I'm going to buy some cheese, some chocolate and come home. After I'm home I know I won't go out again. I'll make it through tonight, this weekend and then who knows.
I'll post tomorrow celebrating my first week.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Sadly I doubt, nah know that I will drink again.
this struggle has been going on for at the least the 4 years I've known you.
what have you got to lose by committing fully to sobriety 100%?
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: against the grain
Posts: 746
You mention that feeling in the pit of your stomach--man, I really relate to that. It almost hurts, I know. I tell myself that is just my AV trying to get his fix. Early on, I posted something about having cravings and someone suggested to drink some warm/hot tea: This has become my routine. The warmth fills my stomach and it seems to not just trick me, but, it actually feels great. As the days go by, I think I'm starting to like the feeling of a belly full of chamomille tea better than a belly full booze.And I can drink as much as I want. Stay strong. You can do this.
EndGame
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,677
Originally Posted by DramaStudent
One thing thats helping me is almost from when I get up to go to bed I'm sat watching Star Trek Voyager. I get so into it that it distracts me and before I know it, its too late to go to the shops even if I was clawing at the walls.
House is another good one for marathon viewing (plus it allows the addition of seeing how much addiction screws up everyone and everything around him!)
House is another good one for marathon viewing (plus it allows the addition of seeing how much addiction screws up everyone and everything around him!)
Ironically for me, the title of the last episode of that series is "End Game."
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by Midton
It's Friday night here now and I'm dealing with an emptiness, boredom and, I guess cravings which start at the pit of my stomach.
I'm home now with no alcohol. It's snowing, I've eaten and I'm going to bed so I won't be drinking tonight. It's now 6 full days but the reasons that I came to sr again are becoming distant. If I'm being honest I'd say that the chances of me caving are about 40 percent. At the back of my mind is Christmas and new year and how difficult it will be to stay sober. My av is telling me that now is not the right time. It says have a blast now and then have a real go come the new year.
I feel as if I'm waiting for something. But of course my thinking is all wrong, it's kind of like trying to reach the horizon, an impossibility.
On the plus side I should feel great tomorrow when I wake up and realise I didn't drink on a Friday for the first time in ages, Thursday also for that matter.
Off to bed sober but anxious and needy.
I'm home now with no alcohol. It's snowing, I've eaten and I'm going to bed so I won't be drinking tonight. It's now 6 full days but the reasons that I came to sr again are becoming distant. If I'm being honest I'd say that the chances of me caving are about 40 percent. At the back of my mind is Christmas and new year and how difficult it will be to stay sober. My av is telling me that now is not the right time. It says have a blast now and then have a real go come the new year.
I feel as if I'm waiting for something. But of course my thinking is all wrong, it's kind of like trying to reach the horizon, an impossibility.
On the plus side I should feel great tomorrow when I wake up and realise I didn't drink on a Friday for the first time in ages, Thursday also for that matter.
Off to bed sober but anxious and needy.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by Dee74
That seems a pretty sad resignation to me Midton.
this struggle has been going on for at the least the 4 years I've known you.
what have you got to lose by committing fully to sobriety 100%?
D
this struggle has been going on for at the least the 4 years I've known you.
what have you got to lose by committing fully to sobriety 100%?
D
Funny enough my parents have never seen my drink. My father is an alcoholic , I hated it, and as a result have never drunk in their presence.
I am not trying to be defeatist just honest.
Thinking more about my friends I suspect that a few of them probably are also alcoholics. There's been drink driving convictions, drunken brawls, puking after one drink before a night out and even a recent suicide. It's really prevalent in the culture I'm from and grew up in. Maybe I can break out of this cycle
I'm trying, really trying. Sorry for being so whiny.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,292
Originally Posted by malcolmsloan
You mention that feeling in the pit of your stomach--man, I really relate to that. It almost hurts, I know. I tell myself that is just my AV trying to get his fix. Early on, I posted something about having cravings and someone suggested to drink some warm/hot tea: This has become my routine. The warmth fills my stomach and it seems to not just trick me, but, it actually feels great. As the days go by, I think I'm starting to like the feeling of a belly full of chamomille tea better than a belly full booze.And I can drink as much as I want. Stay strong. You can do this.
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by Midton
I'm not drinking today and I think I'll make it through Christmas. On the horizon is a trip back home in April. I've been away for so long that I'm only in contact with about seven or so old friends. These bloke lives still revolve around pubs, football and drinking. These people are my only friends from my youth. They are all I have left. That is why I think that I'll likely drink again.
Funny enough my parents have never seen my drink. My father is an alcoholic , I hated it, and as a result have never drunk in their presence.
I am not trying to be defeatist just honest.
Thinking more about my friends I suspect that a few of them probably are also alcoholics. There's been drink driving convictions, drunken brawls, puking after one drink before a night out and even a recent suicide. It's really prevalent in the culture I'm from and grew up in. Maybe I can break out of this cycle
I'm trying, really trying. Sorry for being so whiny.
Funny enough my parents have never seen my drink. My father is an alcoholic , I hated it, and as a result have never drunk in their presence.
I am not trying to be defeatist just honest.
Thinking more about my friends I suspect that a few of them probably are also alcoholics. There's been drink driving convictions, drunken brawls, puking after one drink before a night out and even a recent suicide. It's really prevalent in the culture I'm from and grew up in. Maybe I can break out of this cycle
I'm trying, really trying. Sorry for being so whiny.
It is hard to break away from drinking buddies. The odd thing is, I was the worst in my circle. Perhaps that is unusual because I have kept my friends. Very few of them had a problem and I am lucky to still have them. However, my best friend, who was addicted to about every drug on the planet had to bail out and become a hermit after recovery. I have tried to bring him into the real world but he refuses. Perhaps that suits him. You can build a new circle of friends and acquaintances. I did through recovery people, but was lucky to keep many of my old ones too. I suppose if all your friends are heavy drinkers it is more difficult. But there are people out there who you haven't met yet. It is fun to do things other than go to the pub. I would never have said that twenty years ago. I love to eat out and without the calories of alcohol, I am now very slim. I like to go to the cinema or theatre. Mostly (which surprises me the most) I like to stay home and do house repairs, decorating, cooking, watching telly, doing my hair... boring stuff that I actually enjoy.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Good on you for staying sober, Midton! I have a good feeling about you.
Something we have in common -- I only drink coffee & water, too. A cup of tea like once a month. An ounce of orange juice, like medicine in the a.m. Nothing else appeals to me -- except, of course, bourbon, scotch, gin -- don't get me started lol!
Anyway, have a great day & I'll be looking for you among the threads!
Something we have in common -- I only drink coffee & water, too. A cup of tea like once a month. An ounce of orange juice, like medicine in the a.m. Nothing else appeals to me -- except, of course, bourbon, scotch, gin -- don't get me started lol!
Anyway, have a great day & I'll be looking for you among the threads!
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