What next? Living life after quitting.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
9 months no alcohol
I think I mentioned this before, but I'm always proud of milestones.
So, what does 9 months look like?
Well for me, a lot of things have improved. I'm off better physically, mentally, emotionally, financially and work has improved as well. I'm grateful for recovery.
Like many people, sobriety has also had a huge impact on my relationship. I no longer feel like bf and I are compatible and one of the next major changes in my life is going to be dealing with that. I don't even like to say what needs to happen. I call it 'dealing with that' rather than 'breaking up with my bf' because it's hard to face.
I am learning to be honest with myself with my feelings about it. I'm learning to consider that there are things I can do to change things if I'm not happy, and trying to learn to think that I deserve to be happy and not to obsess about whether or not I'm making a choice that will make bf unhappy.
I am thankful to know that I am thinking clearly and can really make serious decisions rather than feeling perpetually frozen and afraid like I did when drinking. I'm thankful that I'm not drowning my feelings of unhappiness in booze, but feeling them and recognizing them as important.
More tough stuff ahead, but I am thankful that I am slowly working through each aspect of my life and making things how I want them to be. Any break-up is painful and there are a lot of things I will miss about bf. But I don't think he's the right person for me long term.
So, what does 9 months look like?
Well for me, a lot of things have improved. I'm off better physically, mentally, emotionally, financially and work has improved as well. I'm grateful for recovery.
Like many people, sobriety has also had a huge impact on my relationship. I no longer feel like bf and I are compatible and one of the next major changes in my life is going to be dealing with that. I don't even like to say what needs to happen. I call it 'dealing with that' rather than 'breaking up with my bf' because it's hard to face.
I am learning to be honest with myself with my feelings about it. I'm learning to consider that there are things I can do to change things if I'm not happy, and trying to learn to think that I deserve to be happy and not to obsess about whether or not I'm making a choice that will make bf unhappy.
I am thankful to know that I am thinking clearly and can really make serious decisions rather than feeling perpetually frozen and afraid like I did when drinking. I'm thankful that I'm not drowning my feelings of unhappiness in booze, but feeling them and recognizing them as important.
More tough stuff ahead, but I am thankful that I am slowly working through each aspect of my life and making things how I want them to be. Any break-up is painful and there are a lot of things I will miss about bf. But I don't think he's the right person for me long term.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 943
Congratulations GD, nine months is awesome, its sounds like you've become a new person in that time (almost like a re birth!
Please carry on with your updates, you have a lovely way with words and come across as very honest and inspiring 
Oh and have you thought any more about the degree?
Peace X
Please carry on with your updates, you have a lovely way with words and come across as very honest and inspiring 
Oh and have you thought any more about the degree?
Peace X
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Peace- The degree thoughts are still sitting in the back of my mind. I think there's a good chance I'll go for it if I don't get side-tracked elsewhere in life. Possibly starting this fall, but more likely the one after. I'm not exactly sure what I'd go for getting a degree in- there are a lot of subjects that interest me and that I'm naturally talented at, so there would be a lot of options.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Financial Stability
Yesterday, I received my paycheck in the mail. Today, I was able to pay all my bills (including one that wasn't actually due until April). I also now have $500 in cash set aside in case of an emergency and another $1000 in my savings account. AND I still have money in my checking account and a little cash in my wallet.
It is a huge relief to have enough money... and a little extra!!
In the days when I was smoking pot & cigarettes and drinking all the time, those things were my priority. When I was paid, I'd get cash back to go buy weed. Even if I didn't have enough money, I'd put alcohol and cigarettes on my credit card. At times, there wasn't enough left over for things like going to the Dr. or buying new clothes. There was never money in my savings count. I always had bills that were past due. And it was stressful. I worried about my finances. I felt guilty about the insane amount of money that I'd spend on weed, alcohol and cigarettes when I was in the hole financially. All of that is OVER!!!
I am looking forward to a future where I can save up for things I want to buy, where I have enough money to cover any emergencies without tapping into my credit lines, where I can save up for retirement, where I can pay to go to the Dr. and where I just don't have to worry about not having enough.
It is a huge relief to have enough money... and a little extra!!
In the days when I was smoking pot & cigarettes and drinking all the time, those things were my priority. When I was paid, I'd get cash back to go buy weed. Even if I didn't have enough money, I'd put alcohol and cigarettes on my credit card. At times, there wasn't enough left over for things like going to the Dr. or buying new clothes. There was never money in my savings count. I always had bills that were past due. And it was stressful. I worried about my finances. I felt guilty about the insane amount of money that I'd spend on weed, alcohol and cigarettes when I was in the hole financially. All of that is OVER!!!
I am looking forward to a future where I can save up for things I want to buy, where I have enough money to cover any emergencies without tapping into my credit lines, where I can save up for retirement, where I can pay to go to the Dr. and where I just don't have to worry about not having enough.
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Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 500
So happy for your post! I will go back and read your threads. It's so exciting to read through other's processes of recovery and what they are doing with their lives now that they are drug free. Thank you for your update. I am still fairly new to the site and wouldn't have found this unless you have been on the new to recovery thread. Also congrats to you on your success so far. Looking forward to seeing your stories!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
Dealing with the Underlying Problems
I think that many of us have underlying problems that influenced our decisions to drink. While I think there is a level of that we just drink because we're addicted and alcohol has certain chemical affects on us, I think there is also another layer for many of us. I know I drank to escape from my emotions. I drank to escape from problems that I didn't want to face. I drank to escape reality.
One of the things that I've identified about myself is a tendency to be focused a lot on others and what they are or aren't doing. I dwell on that, become upset about it, feel depressed and like my life is out of control because of it. Drinking seemed like a way to 'deal' with that, because after all, what could I do to change what ______ was doing? All that was left was trying to drown out the way ______ was making me feel.
The thing is that I don't even need to be thinking about what _______ is doing. I need to be thinking about what I am doing. This is actually a harder thing for me to do in many ways than quitting drinking was. Focusing too much on others has been a pattern for me since long before I started drinking.
The recovery behaviors that I practice for sobriety can be helpful in this endeavor as well. In fact, focusing on my recovery puts my focus back on me. Focusing on what I can do for my life, one day at a time, puts the focus back on me. Focusing on being better about this puts the focus back on me.
I'm finding it's hard to think about ME sometimes. For now, this is a one day at a time sort of thing. I know with practice, patience and continued effort that it will become easier and more natural.
One of the things that I've identified about myself is a tendency to be focused a lot on others and what they are or aren't doing. I dwell on that, become upset about it, feel depressed and like my life is out of control because of it. Drinking seemed like a way to 'deal' with that, because after all, what could I do to change what ______ was doing? All that was left was trying to drown out the way ______ was making me feel.
The thing is that I don't even need to be thinking about what _______ is doing. I need to be thinking about what I am doing. This is actually a harder thing for me to do in many ways than quitting drinking was. Focusing too much on others has been a pattern for me since long before I started drinking.
The recovery behaviors that I practice for sobriety can be helpful in this endeavor as well. In fact, focusing on my recovery puts my focus back on me. Focusing on what I can do for my life, one day at a time, puts the focus back on me. Focusing on being better about this puts the focus back on me.
I'm finding it's hard to think about ME sometimes. For now, this is a one day at a time sort of thing. I know with practice, patience and continued effort that it will become easier and more natural.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,439
300 days alcohol free
Today is 300 days no alcohol for me.
I am pleased with my progress. There are so many things in my life that are better now. Such a huge contrast between where I came from 300 days ago and where I am now. Progress is slow and day by day, but it really adds up if you stick to it!!!
I am pleased with my progress. There are so many things in my life that are better now. Such a huge contrast between where I came from 300 days ago and where I am now. Progress is slow and day by day, but it really adds up if you stick to it!!!
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,562
Wow DG. Your progress and willpower are quite something! It takes some of us decades to quit that many bad habits, lol. As I recall you also quit caffeine a while back. Whew! my head is spinning. Maybe you could write a book? It's not hard to publish these days.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Thanks advbike. I did make it 3 months or so without the caffeine, but shamefully admit that it has gradually snuck back into my life. I actually think I felt better without it, and yet somehow, I'm back at it. I have thought about writing a book or starting a blog or something. I'm not sure how I'd make it unique though- there is already so much out there on addiction and recovery.
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