What next? Living life after quitting.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
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Congrats DG on each day. I'm on Day 6 quiting alcohol or weed and I can't even fathom the feelings you describe. I've done nothing but work, sleep, and a little eat. At some point, I got to deal with normal life. But all I feel is the constant demon chatter in my head. I look forward to reading your old posts and about your current progression.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
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Leshar- Thanks you. 
SpeedRacer- The early days are rough. Do check out my early threads and you'll see that I've had quite a journey to get here! It doesn't happen overnight, but if you keep at it one day at a time, it DOES happen.
SpeedRacer- The early days are rough. Do check out my early threads and you'll see that I've had quite a journey to get here! It doesn't happen overnight, but if you keep at it one day at a time, it DOES happen.
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Dealing with today's resentments
I find it easy to become distracted by my bf. He's home almost 24/7 and sometimes it drives me NUTS. Today, I would like nothing better than a day at home by myself with some peace and quiet. I'm resenting the fact that he's pretty much always here and that I can't have what I want.
The reality is as it is and the faster I accept it and figure out what I am going to do to have a productive, enjoyable day, the better. I don't want to waste my time on resentments.
So, I am going to focus on taking care of the things I need to do: have a shower, do some laundry, do a bit of sewing on some clothes that need fixed, and take care of a few other chores. Then, I think I'm going to take off for a bit and drive some place nice where I can enjoy a nice walk/hike by myself.
The reality is as it is and the faster I accept it and figure out what I am going to do to have a productive, enjoyable day, the better. I don't want to waste my time on resentments.
So, I am going to focus on taking care of the things I need to do: have a shower, do some laundry, do a bit of sewing on some clothes that need fixed, and take care of a few other chores. Then, I think I'm going to take off for a bit and drive some place nice where I can enjoy a nice walk/hike by myself.
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Panama city Florida
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I think this thread is in the correct forum DG. I'm on day 1 of my path to sobriety. I really needed to read this today. You are an inspiration to me right now. The idea of keeping a thread logging your progress is great. Thank you so much for sharing.
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Mustquit, welcome to SR. Congrats on Day 1. In a lot of ways, that's the most important day as it's the foundation for all the others. If you want, you can check out the thread I started on my day 1: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-drinking.html.
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The Doctor
Well, my the main thing on my to-do list for today is a doctor's appointment. I'm not looking forward to it. They'll be doing an uncomfortable test. Then I get to wait a few days or weeks for the results.
None of this is fun and it doesn't help that it's caused by unhealthy behaviors I've engaged in previously.
But I am a world away from how I handled it the first time 2 years ago. Then when I found out I had to go through it, I freaked out, and drank and smoked more because I was stressed and wanted to bury my head in the sand. Drinking and smoking, of course, do nothing but make the condition worse. They also actually made the anxiety worse as well, although I didn't realize that so much at the time.
So, it is comforting to know that I am handling things differently now. I am doing what I can to take care of my health and not make things worse. I am more comfortable with the whole thing and less nervous since this is the second time around doing this.
My life is different each day because of recovery. I am so thankful to know I'm making healthy decisions rather than engaging in behaviors that will make me sick.
None of this is fun and it doesn't help that it's caused by unhealthy behaviors I've engaged in previously.
But I am a world away from how I handled it the first time 2 years ago. Then when I found out I had to go through it, I freaked out, and drank and smoked more because I was stressed and wanted to bury my head in the sand. Drinking and smoking, of course, do nothing but make the condition worse. They also actually made the anxiety worse as well, although I didn't realize that so much at the time.
So, it is comforting to know that I am handling things differently now. I am doing what I can to take care of my health and not make things worse. I am more comfortable with the whole thing and less nervous since this is the second time around doing this.
My life is different each day because of recovery. I am so thankful to know I'm making healthy decisions rather than engaging in behaviors that will make me sick.
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Today is for work
Well, I've got a work project that I need to tackle. It's kind of a large project so I've been a bit intimidated to even get started. It's time to move past that and get on with it. I am going to start with some of the easier parts so I can at least get started. Once I gain momentum with something, it's easier to keep going.
Making well-defined goals for each day helps me to achieve what I want to.
Oh, and yesterday, it was really a great feeling when they asked if I smoke. I said I'd quit in January and the nurse said congrats. Then I talked to my Dr. and she's a recovered alcoholic so she's very proud of me for quitting the alcohol and drugs. So much better than the guilt that would come from appointments when I had to admit I was a smoker, downplayed how much I drank, and was afraid to discuss my weed smoking at all as it's illegal.
Making well-defined goals for each day helps me to achieve what I want to.
Oh, and yesterday, it was really a great feeling when they asked if I smoke. I said I'd quit in January and the nurse said congrats. Then I talked to my Dr. and she's a recovered alcoholic so she's very proud of me for quitting the alcohol and drugs. So much better than the guilt that would come from appointments when I had to admit I was a smoker, downplayed how much I drank, and was afraid to discuss my weed smoking at all as it's illegal.
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Dealing with a Lack of Excitement
Well, I've been feeling a tad bored with life lately. I miss the illusion of excitement that came with drinking. I say illusion because in all honesty, there isn't much exciting about being at home drinking every single night. But drinking and smoking weed made doing nothing feel like it was exciting. I know I don't care to go back to drinking.
So, last night I got online and looked for events in my area. I live in a small town, but there is a larger city not too far away, so it is at least an option to go to things with a bit of a drive. I found a band I really like is playing tomorrow, so I bought tickets. I'm really looking forward to it. It's not going to permanently solve my boredom problem, but it is a step in the right direction for this week.
It's going to be kind of strange. The last time I was at the same venue, I got way too drunk, hurt myself, blacked out, said things I didn't mean to, woke up in bed the next morning not knowing how I'd gotten there, and then got to hear about what happened since I had no recollection of it. I am glad that I won't have to worry about that this time.
In the mean time, today I am focused on making some more progress on a work project I'm working on.
So, last night I got online and looked for events in my area. I live in a small town, but there is a larger city not too far away, so it is at least an option to go to things with a bit of a drive. I found a band I really like is playing tomorrow, so I bought tickets. I'm really looking forward to it. It's not going to permanently solve my boredom problem, but it is a step in the right direction for this week.
It's going to be kind of strange. The last time I was at the same venue, I got way too drunk, hurt myself, blacked out, said things I didn't mean to, woke up in bed the next morning not knowing how I'd gotten there, and then got to hear about what happened since I had no recollection of it. I am glad that I won't have to worry about that this time.
In the mean time, today I am focused on making some more progress on a work project I'm working on.
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New Shoes!!
I ordered some shoes off the internet this morning. I feel a tad guilty over how much I spent, but it was a much needed purchase. I'm tired of not having any shoes I like, tired of not having any good work shoes and wearing cheap Walmart shoes that do the trick of looking new, but fit and feel terrible. The sneakers I wear on a daily basis were all old as hell and also made my feet hurt. Or I'd pick up shoes at the thrift store for work, but they were never quite what I wanted. In essence, my closet is filled with cheap, old shoes that I hate.
It's just one more place in my life that was affected by alcohol and weed. I didn't have any money to spend on shoes because I spent it all on alcohol, cigarettes and weed. If I was still doing those things, I would have spent more this month on them than I did on all my shoes, so I guess I really shouldn't be feeling guilty. And it should be some time before I need new shoes again. Plus, I'm thinking I deserve something nice for all the effort I've been putting in. I've put most of the money I'm 'saving' towards things like paying off bills, going to the Dr, etc. so it's only fair that I spend a bit of it on things that I enjoy.
It's funny how things like shoes can be a a symbol of one's addiction. Sometimes I feel like there wasn't a single aspect of my life that wasn't affected. It's a good feeling to be taking care of each of these things, one at a time. It takes time and patience for sobriety to catch up with each of these aspects, but it DOES catch up!!
It's just one more place in my life that was affected by alcohol and weed. I didn't have any money to spend on shoes because I spent it all on alcohol, cigarettes and weed. If I was still doing those things, I would have spent more this month on them than I did on all my shoes, so I guess I really shouldn't be feeling guilty. And it should be some time before I need new shoes again. Plus, I'm thinking I deserve something nice for all the effort I've been putting in. I've put most of the money I'm 'saving' towards things like paying off bills, going to the Dr, etc. so it's only fair that I spend a bit of it on things that I enjoy.
It's funny how things like shoes can be a a symbol of one's addiction. Sometimes I feel like there wasn't a single aspect of my life that wasn't affected. It's a good feeling to be taking care of each of these things, one at a time. It takes time and patience for sobriety to catch up with each of these aspects, but it DOES catch up!!
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Limits and Constraints Lead to Creativity and Freedom
Today, I'm feeling good.
The concert I went to last night was amazing. It's still got me in a good mood. I think it was just what I needed. Sometimes I'm too focused on my responsibilities and goals and I don't have enough fun.
One thing I think is interesting is how sometimes limits and constraints can lead to more creativity and freedom. I limit myself by not drinking or using drugs, but the space in my life that creates pushes me to do and try new things. Had I not been feeling bored, I never would have looked to find a concert. It was because I quit drinking that I started going to yoga and taking lots of long walks.
Or I spend a lot of time on the sobriety limericks thread and a lot of times the constraint of the particular rhyming pattern inspires lines that never would have happened otherwise.
Need is the driving force behind many inventions/discoveries. The pain of drinking finally drove me to find the joys of recovery.
I appreciate the boredom and pain in recovery because it pushes me to try new things.
The concert I went to last night was amazing. It's still got me in a good mood. I think it was just what I needed. Sometimes I'm too focused on my responsibilities and goals and I don't have enough fun.
One thing I think is interesting is how sometimes limits and constraints can lead to more creativity and freedom. I limit myself by not drinking or using drugs, but the space in my life that creates pushes me to do and try new things. Had I not been feeling bored, I never would have looked to find a concert. It was because I quit drinking that I started going to yoga and taking lots of long walks.
Or I spend a lot of time on the sobriety limericks thread and a lot of times the constraint of the particular rhyming pattern inspires lines that never would have happened otherwise.
Need is the driving force behind many inventions/discoveries. The pain of drinking finally drove me to find the joys of recovery.
I appreciate the boredom and pain in recovery because it pushes me to try new things.
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Staying Focused
It's easy for me to get distracted worrying about things which I have no control over.
My goal for today is to stay focused on me and the things I need to be doing. I don't want to waste time thinking/worrying/obsessing about things that I can't (or won't) change today.
My goal for today is to stay focused on me and the things I need to be doing. I don't want to waste time thinking/worrying/obsessing about things that I can't (or won't) change today.
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Taking Things In
Yesterday, I found a wonderful series of yoga classes on YouTube. So, I played/did one of them last night. (I'm thrilled to have found the series. It's just what I needed for days when I don't have real yoga classes or I'm traveling and can't make it.)
There's often times a few minutes of life philosophy that comes with a yoga class, and the topic of the one I watched was taking things in. A lot of the class was focusing on breathing in.
The instructor also mentioned that there are a lot of things we take in. We can do yoga outside in beautiful places and take in nice surroundings. We take in water. Our eyes take in the things we see. When we watch TV, or look at stuff on the internet or read books, we take it in. All of those things really do affect us.
Today, I want to take in things that will have a positive effect on my life. I want to go for a walk some place nice, drink lots of water, eat healthy, find positive messages, etc. I also want to avoid taking in things that won't help me: alcohol, weed, cigarettes, negative messages, etc.
There's often times a few minutes of life philosophy that comes with a yoga class, and the topic of the one I watched was taking things in. A lot of the class was focusing on breathing in.
The instructor also mentioned that there are a lot of things we take in. We can do yoga outside in beautiful places and take in nice surroundings. We take in water. Our eyes take in the things we see. When we watch TV, or look at stuff on the internet or read books, we take it in. All of those things really do affect us.
Today, I want to take in things that will have a positive effect on my life. I want to go for a walk some place nice, drink lots of water, eat healthy, find positive messages, etc. I also want to avoid taking in things that won't help me: alcohol, weed, cigarettes, negative messages, etc.
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Expanding Beyond My Comfort Level
It's sometimes easier to stay within my comfort level. It's not always very rewarding though. Growth doesn't happen within my comfort zone. It happens when I take a step outside it. Once I do, I may realize that it's not all that bad being outside of my comfort zone.
Fear can hold me back, but often times that fear isn't really legitimate. I sometimes fear things that really can't hurt me: striking up a conversation with a stranger, learning a new hobby, etc.
It's worth it to step outside of my comfort zone. It brings opportunities for discovery. It lets me learn and grow and find new things. It also expands my comfort zone so that the next time I feel more confident.
I want to learn to be fearless when it comes to going outside my comfort level. I want to try more new things and not hold back because I like living in my safe little bubble. When it comes right down to it, I really don't like living in my little bubble.
Fear can hold me back, but often times that fear isn't really legitimate. I sometimes fear things that really can't hurt me: striking up a conversation with a stranger, learning a new hobby, etc.
It's worth it to step outside of my comfort zone. It brings opportunities for discovery. It lets me learn and grow and find new things. It also expands my comfort zone so that the next time I feel more confident.
I want to learn to be fearless when it comes to going outside my comfort level. I want to try more new things and not hold back because I like living in my safe little bubble. When it comes right down to it, I really don't like living in my little bubble.
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Future Tripping
The thought of Thanksgiving approaching has triggered a bit of anxiety for me. The idea of facing family members I used to drink and smoke pot with, knowing that everybody is going to be drinking but me, knowing that there will also be people smoking cigarettes, offers to go get high, coffee pots full, etc. I know there isn't just going to be one trigger, but many.
Thing is that I am just future tripping. I'm not even there yet. Today is it's own day and I really ought to be focusing on my recovery for today.
The truth is I know I'll be just fine with Thanksgiving. I've made it through some pretty tough situations throughout my sobriety so far. I've been around people smoking, there is alcohol in my house that I don't touch, I have bf smoking weed around me on a regular basis, there's plenty of caffeine in my house I avoid. There isn't really going to be anything different about Thanksgiving than any other day of my life. So why freak myself out about it when it's not even here yet?
In addition, I have strong recovery/coping skills. I will turn to SR if needed, get out and go for a walk or a drive, drink a cup of decaf coffee, play with the kids, enjoy some good food, or find something else. I'll be just fine and I'll keep in mind how important sobriety is and how grateful I am to be sober.
And for today, I will focus on just that: today. I have work to do, I have a few chores to do, some yoga, some good meals to make and eat... I have a whole day ahead of me to live in!! So why not stay in it and take advantage of now??
Thing is that I am just future tripping. I'm not even there yet. Today is it's own day and I really ought to be focusing on my recovery for today.
The truth is I know I'll be just fine with Thanksgiving. I've made it through some pretty tough situations throughout my sobriety so far. I've been around people smoking, there is alcohol in my house that I don't touch, I have bf smoking weed around me on a regular basis, there's plenty of caffeine in my house I avoid. There isn't really going to be anything different about Thanksgiving than any other day of my life. So why freak myself out about it when it's not even here yet?
In addition, I have strong recovery/coping skills. I will turn to SR if needed, get out and go for a walk or a drive, drink a cup of decaf coffee, play with the kids, enjoy some good food, or find something else. I'll be just fine and I'll keep in mind how important sobriety is and how grateful I am to be sober.
And for today, I will focus on just that: today. I have work to do, I have a few chores to do, some yoga, some good meals to make and eat... I have a whole day ahead of me to live in!! So why not stay in it and take advantage of now??
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Thanksgiving Cravings
Since I quit drinking several months ago, I've rarely really been struck by cravings for alcohol. The memory of how painful the end of my drinking days was and realizing how messed up my health, brain & life was really motivated me to stay quit. I try to look at the positives and be grateful for my time quit.
Today has really been a rough day craving-wise though. I've been surrounded by family and it seems like everybody is drinking. My eyes stick to the beer & wine glasses like a teenaged boys eyes do to scantily clad women.
I'm having these thoughts like, "Maybe I could just drink on rare occassions. I know alcohol is a problem for me when I do it all the time, but maybe I could just drink a bit today since it's a holiday."
I think occassional cravings and thoughts like that come up even when we've been quit for a substantial period of time. The further I get from my drinking days, the easier it is to forget the consequences.
I still have a choice as to what to DO about my stinkin' thinking. Today, I am choosing to not drink. I am choosing to stick to my commitment to sobriety. I am choosing to come and post on SR rather than to give into the cravings.
Today has really been a rough day craving-wise though. I've been surrounded by family and it seems like everybody is drinking. My eyes stick to the beer & wine glasses like a teenaged boys eyes do to scantily clad women.
I'm having these thoughts like, "Maybe I could just drink on rare occassions. I know alcohol is a problem for me when I do it all the time, but maybe I could just drink a bit today since it's a holiday."
I think occassional cravings and thoughts like that come up even when we've been quit for a substantial period of time. The further I get from my drinking days, the easier it is to forget the consequences.
I still have a choice as to what to DO about my stinkin' thinking. Today, I am choosing to not drink. I am choosing to stick to my commitment to sobriety. I am choosing to come and post on SR rather than to give into the cravings.
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