beak

I had a hideous weekend. I'm so ashamed I can't describe it any further than that. I'm humiliated and terrified. I feel like I will never feel okay again, I'm completely unable to self-soothe, and of course I'm hungover.

I'm posting here because I can't think of any other way to channel my terrible feelings. I want to quit drinking. I'm very afraid that my behavior this weekend will come back to haunt me, that I'll keep drinking and pile onto my humiliations, that I'll do something even worse than just socially devastating, that I'll hurt someone, get into legal trouble, that I'll die. I'm very afraid all around and I'm suffering badly.

Erratic

Understand where ur coming from hun.

Are u able to talk more about why u feel humilated and that? We all have had times where our behavour or done things we regret, so i do hope u can keep talking and lets see how u can like me try and quit the drink. xx

doggonecarl

Welcome to Sober Recovery.

You can put a halt on the anguish and same today! Push back the fear and quit drinking.
There is life after drinking...but much of one if you continue.

beak

It hurts too much to go into specifics. I got very drunk at a party and things got out of hand. Nothing illegal happened, and I don't want to trigger anybody, but I was way outside of my comfort zone and I was too drunk to recognize it at the time.

I feel like I don't have the resources to cope with this fear and shame.

AlefVavResh

Beak - You can start today. For now just let this weekend go. If you need to make amends to someone you can deal with that later. First things first. Stay sober. Keep posting, read threads, find an AA meeting. Welcome!

Carlotta

:Welcome to SR. You just made a good decision joining this site, you will find a lot of support here
While you cannot take back what happened this week end, dwelling in shame will not make it better. The good news is that you NEVER have to feel that way again. You can stop today. Why don't you join us at the 24 hours club? It's a friendly supportive roster where we pledge not to drink or drug for the next 24 hours.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4262670

trikyriky

Hello friend

FEAR , scary , you could die

Had enough , remember that feeling

You don't get unlimited chances

My best to you

Tr

resolute50

Welcome to SR.
I've done some pretty embarrassing and stupid things while being intoxicated.
Nobody here is going to judge you. Don't fall into that cycle of drinking to forget about things you did while drunk.

So glad you found this site. Use it as a tool to help you stop the cycle.

Anna

I felt the same way that you do, Beak, and it has helped keep me in recovery all these years.

You never have to go through that again.

hayley86

Welcome beak, i used to feel guilt and shame all the time when i was drinking. Quitting drinking is the best decision i have ever made. This is a great place for support and understanding. I'm glad you have joined us. Best wishes.

alphaomega

Beak -If I had a dollar for every alcohol induced walk of shame...well, lets just say, I'd be pretty well off.

You are not your drunken behavior. You are so much more and so worth not having to feel this way.

We are here to hear and trust me, whatever you have done, one of us has done worse.

Be well dear one.

afloatsober

Keep drinking and it will get worse and worse.......
Stop drinking and it is guaranteed to get better....
Use whatever help you need to support you.
Alone is much more difficult.
My story... so far
Gx

trudgingagain

I agree that all of us have probably been there or worse...I know that I have. Life, for me, is better without alcohol. There are so many options "out there" these days for getting sober....this is a great site...so read...read...read. No time for shame and humiliation now. Time to make a plan to stay sober.....don't you think?

HeadLump

Welcome, beak. You'll find many friends and much support here. You can't go back and change yesterday, but you can start now and make a new future. We'll all be rooting for you!

DoubleDragons

It is good that you wrote all of your feelings down on this forum. You have a written record of how horrible and devastating these moments feel. I have had quite a few of them, but it is quite amazing how time and forgiving look-the-other-way family and friends, all of the sudden make those horrible episodes look/feel "quaint" or "far in the past." The forgiveness of time and loving relations is truly a blessing, if you use this episode to propel you into a healthier way of life, which you can do!! Take the blessing now and look only into the future.

soberhawk

Welcome to sr beak.

It will pass, but it is not pleasant.

It think many here have tried something similar, do not beat you self up – that will not help.

Dee74

Hi beak

Believe me everyone here knows how you feel - all of us have been there and felt those feelings. We get it.

Like Anna, said the really great thing is you can turn things around - you never have to feel like this again if you don;t want to.

SR helped me enormously - not only in dealing with the aftermath of my drinking, but helping me make the changes I needed to to stay sober.

You'll find a lot of support here

Welcome!

D

beak

I'm not going to drink today, so I'm just sitting here with my pain, reading the site and taking baths. The empathetic replies do give me some comfort in the face of today's otherwise relentless misery. Thank you.

Vodwat

sorry to hear about your weekend. things will get better but only with time and sobriety. hang in there.

MIRecovery

For me the pain the shame the misery would fade. In a day or a week alcohol would convince me that it really wasn't that bad. I would start drinking again and the whole death spiral would start all over with each bottom getting lower than the one before

The alternative is to quit drinking today and forever. To put all the shame and fear and guilt behind you. I have found that there is a wonderful life out there and none of it involves alcohol.