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Old 09-26-2013, 02:11 AM
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Welcome Twinnings, glad you are here.
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Old 09-26-2013, 04:43 PM
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Just after midnight and i'm about to try sleep.

Physically seem to have returned to normal, certainly with apetite anyway. I've eaten ALOT and nothing is making me feel sick anymore. Pain in my stomach, guess its gerd has gone just a lil left when swallowing. Anyone else get that? It's especially with meat, just after I've drank a lot for a few days straight... its like the food gets stuck and your choking and mouth fills up with water then it just kinda goes down then the other bites after seem normal. Its definitely related to drinking and don't want medical advice on it, just curious as to whether its common etc.

Mentally i'm ok. Memory is shot, I keep forgetting how to spell things and even looked at my name for a while today wondering if it was right! I've been taking plenty of bcomplex. I've had cravings already, not to drink right now, but I have a wedding coming up and saying i'll be ok for that so I deliberately arranged some blood tests shortly after so can't drink if I want them to be good! Really need to keep reminding myself how bad it feels each time and how I always say never again.

So physically and mentally ok, but since I haven't had longer than a few weeks sober in over 10 years I dunno what normal is and this to me is good so I'm gonna anticipate what a few months feels like with some excitement.

Good night all, and have pleasant nights/days wherever you are!
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Old 09-26-2013, 04:53 PM
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Twinnings, you are getting better. Your body is healing. Keep going. Stay strong. You can DO this. I am glad you are here with us.
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Old 09-26-2013, 04:59 PM
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Twinnings, I too am laying wide awake in the UK. Best of luck I'm with you.
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Old 09-26-2013, 06:34 PM
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Hope you've started to feel better!

I've had a pretty heavy binge and had to get checked over by the doctor yesterday and they looked at my heart rate as the alcohol made it a bit irregular but were happy for me to go home in the end once it was settled.

I have a few aches and pains but these usually vanish pretty quick for me so hopefully will be gone by tomorrow.

I haven't had anything to drink since yesterday now but am now wide awake in the middle of the night and keep overthinking things and thinking how I MUST stop drinking and this MUST be my last attempt while I still get the chance. Hate the regret and the worry!

I was in a much more positive frame of mind before I got into bed tonight.

I personally find it's the 2nd or 3rd day after a binge that my mood starts to lift and I start to smile a bit more so hopefully I'll feel a bit better once I get to sleep tonight.

Let us know how you're doing!
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Old 09-27-2013, 02:55 AM
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Originally Posted by croydonlad View Post
Hope you've started to feel better!

I've had a pretty heavy binge and had to get checked over by the doctor yesterday and they looked at my heart rate as the alcohol made it a bit irregular but were happy for me to go home in the end once it was settled.

I have a few aches and pains but these usually vanish pretty quick for me so hopefully will be gone by tomorrow.

I haven't had anything to drink since yesterday now but am now wide awake in the middle of the night and keep overthinking things and thinking how I MUST stop drinking and this MUST be my last attempt while I still get the chance. Hate the regret and the worry!

I was in a much more positive frame of mind before I got into bed tonight.

I personally find it's the 2nd or 3rd day after a binge that my mood starts to lift and I start to smile a bit more so hopefully I'll feel a bit better once I get to sleep tonight.

Let us know how you're doing!
Wow this sounds like me!
One withdrawal I went to the hospital cus the whites of my eyes had gone blood red and when I tried to sleep it felt like my heart wasn't beating. My BP was sky high but they said I was fine and just needed to sleep, had been awake with anxiety for 3 nights but I've felt the irregular heart beats so I was worried. Why wasn't that my last binge.....?!!

My aches an' pains are same. I get some lower right pain and have had a liver scan. It was fatty but then I managed to reverse it, dunno what its like now but I'm gonna have some bloods done soon.

I guess the anxiety and lack of sleep is the killer for me too. Just hrs upon hrs of never ending dread, fear, dooooooooom.
But I guess today is day 3 without booze, I definately plan to see a day 4.
Yesterday I only had 1 half benzo in the morning and a sleeping aid and slept a good 8hrs and yeah, I feel pretty freakin good today! Not planning on using any benzo and using some hypnosis to sleep.

Anyway, I hope you got some sleep and are feeling a bit better, maybe cracked a smile or two. Let's stick together and beat this!
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Old 09-27-2013, 05:00 AM
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Originally Posted by Twinnings View Post
Wow this sounds like me!
One withdrawal I went to the hospital cus the whites of my eyes had gone blood red and when I tried to sleep it felt like my heart wasn't beating. My BP was sky high but they said I was fine and just needed to sleep, had been awake with anxiety for 3 nights but I've felt the irregular heart beats so I was worried. Why wasn't that my last binge.....?!!

My aches an' pains are same. I get some lower right pain and have had a liver scan. It was fatty but then I managed to reverse it, dunno what its like now but I'm gonna have some bloods done soon.

I guess the anxiety and lack of sleep is the killer for me too. Just hrs upon hrs of never ending dread, fear, dooooooooom.
But I guess today is day 3 without booze, I definately plan to see a day 4.
Yesterday I only had 1 half benzo in the morning and a sleeping aid and slept a good 8hrs and yeah, I feel pretty freakin good today! Not planning on using any benzo and using some hypnosis to sleep.

Anyway, I hope you got some sleep and are feeling a bit better, maybe cracked a smile or two. Let's stick together and beat this!
Yeah, I'm not a doctor so I can't speak for you I'm afraid but my doctor told me my irregular and fast heartbeat was probably caused my excess alcohol but can be caused by caffeine or other stimulants such as illegal drugs. I don't take caffeine or illegal drugs.

They corrected my heartbeat and said it wasn't that serious but certainly had to be treated then. It was frightening. I don't want to get into that situation again or something worse and a big wake up call.

I find the lack of sleep terrible and the fear during the night awful and I have the doom too at the moment.

I woke up feeling better this morning and took myself out for a walk which helped a bit but now I'm exhausted again.

Oh well! Power on!
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:32 AM
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Well I think even if you are exhausted getting out and about is good.

I try and stay awake so its easier to fall asleep later but I know some people would take a nap. Up to you I guess.

I went out and got a hair cut but anxiety hit. I have this weird thing that I suddenly will have a lil shake when I need to concentrate or someone comes near me with something like scissors. Dunno how to explain it, its not like im shaking anymore. Like I went to get some nuts from the health food shop and getting the scoop and trying to put it in the bag my hand will suddenly shake but then when its done im fine. Anywho so doing that has wiped me out a bit and also bummed me too but nevermind. Its obviously some kinda damage from drink so obvious answer would be to carry on not drinking and it'll get better!
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:41 AM
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I know exactly what you mean!

I'm at work now I'm was feeling really anxious and I'm a bit better now but reading that has really helped. I'm looking forward to the office emptying a bit so it's quieter.

Can't wait to get this day over. I felt much better earlier.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:52 AM
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You sound like my story Twinings; I hope I do as well as you.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:56 AM
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hah never seen/heard anyone else have that before.

It used to really freak me out in my old job, there was part of it that involved doing something precise in front of people. Just the first bit I always had to turn away to do it, then after I could turn back and finish the job without problems.

Weird huh.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:56 AM
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Originally Posted by Twinings View Post
Really don't want to touch this poison ever again
But that's the problem, right? You can obviously sober up for a minute, but even knowing what will happen, there's that irresistible need to pick it up again. Welcome to alcoholism.

Good news is, there is a way out of this endless, fatal cycle.
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Old 09-27-2013, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by keithj View Post
But that's the problem, right? You can obviously sober up for a minute, but even knowing what will happen, there's that irresistible need to pick it up again. Welcome to alcoholism.

Good news is, there is a way out of this endless, fatal cycle.
Well I hope so, and I really am gonna go to a meeting this time.
Thankfully each time I seem to learn a lil more, and this time I'm moving from this place which really depresses me so hopefully that will help.
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Old 09-27-2013, 06:40 PM
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Argh its nearly 3am and i'm wide awake. Trying to do tonight with nothing in my system, no sleep aids nothing! Probably picked the worst night for it cus tomorrow is a huge day...tried guided meditation everything. blurgh
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Old 09-27-2013, 06:45 PM
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I'm awake too but only because I'm just home from work and watched TV for a bit and now my eyes are really heavy. Think I'll sleep much better than last night.

Have you tried putting some quiet soothing sounds or music ok quietly in your room? Sea sounds, bird sounds? Might help relax you?
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Old 09-27-2013, 06:54 PM
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Yup, bedtime zen, natural sounds, guided meditation, binaural waves. sucks.
I wouldn't be so bothered if I didn't have so much to do.
Probably too late for a sleeping tablet now. rargh.

Watching an episode of justified then im trying again.
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Old 09-27-2013, 08:52 PM
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Hi and Welcome to SR,
I was on Protonix for GERD, for probably 8/9 years. Like my alcoholism, I was in denial that my 2 bottles of Cab a night was causing the food to stick in my chest! Good news: I quit using Protonix , and I no longer need it....guess it was alcoholism. . Bobbi
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Old 09-28-2013, 02:22 AM
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The general message I get from all doctors is that if you quit drinking a lot of things will be solved but that's often easier said than done unfortunately.

Did you get some sleep in the end?

I'm still tired but I was so exhausted last night my body had no choice but to get some sleep. Going to get a mid morning nap in. I feel I could actually do it without fear or panic!

Bit craving any alcohol today but it's day 3 after my last binge now and this is the point when I start to feel better in my body and and start to justify reasons for drinking again usually. I haven't done that yet because, basically I don't want to drink because I know I need not to and it's bad for me, not because someone's telling me not to. Hope that stays.

How was your night in the end?
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Old 09-28-2013, 02:30 AM
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Croydonlad, day 3 is notorious for lapsing - don't fall into that trap
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Old 09-28-2013, 02:51 AM
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Yep! I've made it past day 3 loads before. The point I'll find difficult is later on this evening after work.

I finish at about 9pm and it will get to 7.30 or 8pm and I'll start thinking about what to do after work and alcohol will come into my head and haunt me until I get it.

I'll buy two big bottles of wine at the shop in the station and start drinking it on the way home on the train before actually getting home which, in my mind, means my nightly binge starts earlier, will finish earlier and I will start feeling better earlier the next day even I will feel rubbish right up until my next drink tomorrow after work. Crazy!

Anyway, after about 40 mins on the train and most, or all of, one large bottle of wine gone, I'll get off the train. I'll then go and buy another slightly smaller one in the shop near my house and a couple of tiny single glass bottles which I see as a kind of top up once I've finished the rest.

If I've got the day off the next day I will probably wake up still drunk and quite early and head straight out and drink more wine but not need so much because I'm still drunk or have some vodka.

Very bad! Not only does this make me feel horrible rather than the buzz after the first few drinks but after a while I get depressed and paranoid but still carry on.

Only difference today is I want to not drink so I can improve how I feel within my mind and body because this is no way to carry on and I want to be waking up feeling well and enjoy the day.

Plus, last night I actually really enjoyed myself. I was alone but I watched one of my favourite TV shows and I enjoyed it much more than if I was drunk because I could actually watch it properly. Simple but so soon after not drinking maybe a novely that will vanish.

As I say, the difference I have at the moment is a desire to not drink over a desire to drink which is coming from me rather than me being told.
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