LDT

Ditto jazzfish's post.....exactly.

happyhour

looking, good luck out there, it's a cruel world.

maybe you are different than most everyone here, you are the only one that knows. i hope it works ... but, you came to this board, "looking for a wagon", and a reason...something concerns you about your drinking...

i must admit, a frosty cold one(2,3,4,5,6,8,9) seems enticing, but nah for me today.

happyhour

this may help you looking, it might help others too.

one of my favorite writers, C.S. Lewis:

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it”

EndGameNYC

I don't read every comment, so it's possible I missed the part where people here gave you support for drinking moderately. This largely misguided enterprise generally ends badly, often inviting more destruction into our lives.

Bird615

Moderation? Well, after 30 years of being sober/dry, you'd think that someone could finally be successful at moderation.

I Just finished over a year and a half of trying to moderate and I
Just. Could. Not. Do it.

Damn lucky I finally gave up and made it back.

Best wishes to you.

Eleni58

Sorry, dear, the statistics are against you for successful moderation.

I guess I don't understand the need or want to drink any alcohol at all--whether it's one or 100--what gainful purpose or pleasure do you get?

ReadyAtLast

I thought this too. I can't believe people on SR gave you support/encouragement/ belief that you can drink moderately.

OP maybe you misunderstood what people said or just want to believe moderation is possible..............

ZeldaFan

Moderation didn't work for me. I tried it for years and every time I ended up going back to the heavy drinking. In May/June 2011 I went just over 20 days sober and thought I could get a bottle of Vodka and make it last. I ended up drinking almost all of it in one night. I blacked out, woke up extremely hungover and that was the beginning of two years of the heaviest drinking I had ever done. It was to the point where I would drink so much at night I would smell like booze most of the next day at work. Not exactly in the handbook for success in the workplace.

looking4awagon

The reason for this thread was to hear others experiences with moderation, and I found that, thank you so much. I really appreciate the advice, encouragment and the critisism. In my experience I have never tried to moderate. I know the odds are against me but I will never know if its possible without trying. I wanted to be honest with you guys and be honest with myself at the same time, this forum makes me accountable. I no longer take sobriety for granted, and you guys will be the first to know if moderation doesnt work. Thanks for the support you guys are the best.

ScottFromWI

Be safe Looking 4 and definitely come back when you need SR again. Based on how bad you were doing with your drinking less than 2 weeks ago, things could get worse in a very short period of time. Hopefully you can stop yourself before you get to the point of causing irreparable harm to yourself or someone around you.

Celticgirl

Good luck. I can't moderate, but maybe you can. Come back if you need to.

Black Bird

Awesome!

AlefVavResh

Be well. People feel compelled to warn you because in our lives moderation has brought only misery.

I was five years sober and then decided to try "drinking on special occasions". Since I am here, you can imagine where that led me - four years later.

Keep us posted. You have this resource and you know that everyone wishes you success and health in your life. If you need to jump back on the wagon, we'll pull it around and park out front

ExWinoMom

Heh

Reading all these answers kinda make me laugh and realise that I'm probably an alcoholic.

jaynie04

It would never occur to me to steal, it is just not in my makeup or my internal vocabulary. I don't have to try not to shoplift or steal a car or rob a bank or embezzle...for me it is just built in. I remember seeing something recently that more than 50% of people don't steal because they might get caught. Not because it is wrong, but because they might get caught.

I imagine that is the way people who don't suffer from alcoholism feel about drinking too much. They have one or none because they have to drive. They were hungover once in college an hated the feeling so they never have more than 2. They don't consider whether alcohol will be served at a social event. They don't have secrets about their drinking. They don't feel like if people knew how much work it was to drink normally they would be judgmental.

The concept of drinking like other people is as foreign to me as the concept of robbing a bank, it simply isn't embedded within my psyche. I don't have to work to not rob a bank, but I do have to work at not drinking. Tells me all I need to know for myself.

I wish you the best, thank you for your honesty and for sharing your experience.

serious

moderation does not work for most people.

if you think you can moderate, why not try your moderation by not having *any* drinks at this event? after all, if moderation is the goal, then surely you can wait until the next social gathering to have some drinks.

either way best of luck to you.

tnman1967

It's very simple, if you can moderate you are not an alcoholic. On the other hand if you are on these kind of forums that indicate that you have a drinking problem. So based on that I seriously doubt that you can moderate. In any case, why would you want to anyway. Alcohol has not done anything positive for me ever. Sure I had drinking episodes in between the bad ones that was ok, but each and every day as a drunk it got worse. Until you really want to quit it's useless to spend time on here trying to justify moderation. Alcohol and moderation is fine for most people and I support it just not for Alcoholics of which I am one. Not wanting to beat you down but being realistic.

DarkDays

Moderation is so much more torture than just drinking when you want blah blah or should I say ba ba ba.

Amajorityofone

one of my favorite writers, C.S. Lewis:

“No man knows how bad he is till he has tried very hard to be good. A silly idea is current that good people do not know what temptation means. This is an obvious lie. Only those who try to resist temptation know how strong it is. After all, you find out the strength of the German army by fighting against it, not by giving in. You find out the strength of a wind by trying to walk against it, not by lying down. A man who gives in to temptation after five minutes simply does not know what it would have been like an hour later. That is why bad people, in one sense, know very little about badness — they have lived a sheltered life by always giving in. We never find out the strength of the evil impulse inside us until we try to fight it”

Amen.

pinkdog

Dear wagon, People who don't need alcohol do not plan in advance taking a drink. They don't have to quit for periods of time. I say NO to moderation. One drink leads to another. And we know where that leads. You are doing great. It's common to think you can moderate after quitting for a shortwhile. But I don't know anyone who can do it. I hope you continue to be sober. Sobriety is best.