11 days sober and looking to moderate.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 86
11 days sober and looking to moderate.
Well. Still on the wagon and it feels good. Cravings are nothing like they were in the beginning, have even been in a social setting a couple of times and had one of my favorite IPAs placed in my hand and turned it down. This is getting pretty easy. I know I am going to disappoint but I never went into this planning to stay sober. Honestly I enjoy drinking and have never been the blackout drunk type. I have chosen to drink moderately and thanks to you guys I know I can do it. If I am wrong you will be the first to know. I have never really tried to control my drinking and will let you know how it goes. I will be at a social get together this weekend and will surely have a few. After getting to a point where I dont need alcohol I am going to see if I can keep it under control, wish me luck. Thanks for all the support and I will continue to post and lurk daily. Just curious, have any of you out there ever learned to control your drinking? Are there any success stories? Thanks guys.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 22
Hi looking4awagon, it all really depends on your experience with alcohol previously, the fact you are posting on here tells me you are not what would be classed as a 'social drinker' you obviously have fears or worries about your drinking.
Everyone has their own system that works for them, personally, I can't drink at all. I tried moderation last year after 3 months sober and that 1 beer in an airport bar turned into 15 months even heavier drinking than before.
I've now chosen to replace my drinking activities with other activities that I can get a buzz from, picking up my old hobbies at long last.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you find a solution that works for you.
Everyone has their own system that works for them, personally, I can't drink at all. I tried moderation last year after 3 months sober and that 1 beer in an airport bar turned into 15 months even heavier drinking than before.
I've now chosen to replace my drinking activities with other activities that I can get a buzz from, picking up my old hobbies at long last.
I wish you the best of luck and hope you find a solution that works for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 86
Thanks T for the kind reply. Your right, I do have concerns with my drinking. I was a 4-8 beer a night drinker 3-5 days a week and those are micros with higher alcohol percentages, this trype of behavior has gone on for about 7 years. I know that type of drinking is not sustainable. I used to drink socially and really enjoyed it. This was before Iit became a medication. I am happy with my sobriety and how much better I feel. I no longer feel the need to drink alone and am excited to try and moderate. Will keep you guys posted on my progress. Thanks a ton.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Uk
Posts: 1,190
I'm new at all this and this is also my first and only attempt at being sober. I've never tried moderation seriously - I'd have to say that eleven days in sounds really soon to be thinking of drinking again - something brought you here? Why did you decide to stop to start with?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Ohio
Posts: 3,785
I wanted to point out some of you previous posts.
From your second post....."Made it through my first full day sober after a two week bender"
"Hope all are well and thank you so much for the support, really looking forward to reaching one week sober!"
"Being sober does taste good, looking forward to my one week goal, baby steps."
Got to the register and ran into a buddy buying a fifth of booze, damn the temptation, but brushed it off like a pro, you guys would have been proud.
From this post.. "I know I am going to disappoint but I never went into this planning to stay sober."
I think this last quote says it all. You never planned to stay sober and this social function coming up has sealed that deal.
You have proved you can be sober a week so now you want to prove you can control it.
I think you may want to remember that two week bender. A bender or a binge is not controlled drinking. I guess my question is why have you not controlled it before? Is it because you never tried before or you never wanted to try before?
I know I never wanted to control my drinking. That required to much work. It was like an IV drip. I wanted to drink, not sip or count how many I drinks I was allowed.
Then again, you may not be an alcoholic like I am. Maybe you can control it, have two or three and then stop with no need or want to continue with a fourth or fifth. Maybe you won't throw caution to the wind after one and go in for the full ride like I always did.
Please keep us updated. I am curious though? Your goal was one week sober, which you have reached, Good for you! I really mean that. Since seven days was your goal what is your controlled drinking goal? Are you allowed two? Three? Just beer or hard liquor as well? Or is there no set amount like the week sober, Are you just going to stop when you have had enough?
From your second post....."Made it through my first full day sober after a two week bender"
"Hope all are well and thank you so much for the support, really looking forward to reaching one week sober!"
"Being sober does taste good, looking forward to my one week goal, baby steps."
Got to the register and ran into a buddy buying a fifth of booze, damn the temptation, but brushed it off like a pro, you guys would have been proud.
From this post.. "I know I am going to disappoint but I never went into this planning to stay sober."
I think this last quote says it all. You never planned to stay sober and this social function coming up has sealed that deal.
You have proved you can be sober a week so now you want to prove you can control it.
I think you may want to remember that two week bender. A bender or a binge is not controlled drinking. I guess my question is why have you not controlled it before? Is it because you never tried before or you never wanted to try before?
I know I never wanted to control my drinking. That required to much work. It was like an IV drip. I wanted to drink, not sip or count how many I drinks I was allowed.
Then again, you may not be an alcoholic like I am. Maybe you can control it, have two or three and then stop with no need or want to continue with a fourth or fifth. Maybe you won't throw caution to the wind after one and go in for the full ride like I always did.
Please keep us updated. I am curious though? Your goal was one week sober, which you have reached, Good for you! I really mean that. Since seven days was your goal what is your controlled drinking goal? Are you allowed two? Three? Just beer or hard liquor as well? Or is there no set amount like the week sober, Are you just going to stop when you have had enough?
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 1,242
hiya looking,
what brought you here in the first place, what was it that made you think you needed sober time at first.
Moderation, is a very tricky thing, we can easily deceive ourselves into thinking we are ok, and in control, yet very quickly our addictive personality kicks in and takes over.
I had 18 months of sobriety and slipped, then convinced myself it would be ok to drink now, because I showed I could live without it, now I can moderate. I was very wrong, very quickly old habits returned, and all the awful negative feelings about myself took over so I felt like I couldn't give up again.
I had 4 months sober at the beginning of 2013, then slipped and didn't bother to pull it back, and 12 days ago, realised, hell, I want my LIFE back, Im so fed up of feeling depressed and anxious, when can I drink, how can I plan things around drinking, will anyone start nagging me again... for me moderation doesn't work, alcohol has a power over me that I just can't control, I cannot control alcohol, so I have to cut it out of my life all together.
Whatever you decide, I hope you are honest with yourself and I hope you stay safe.
L x
what brought you here in the first place, what was it that made you think you needed sober time at first.
Moderation, is a very tricky thing, we can easily deceive ourselves into thinking we are ok, and in control, yet very quickly our addictive personality kicks in and takes over.
I had 18 months of sobriety and slipped, then convinced myself it would be ok to drink now, because I showed I could live without it, now I can moderate. I was very wrong, very quickly old habits returned, and all the awful negative feelings about myself took over so I felt like I couldn't give up again.
I had 4 months sober at the beginning of 2013, then slipped and didn't bother to pull it back, and 12 days ago, realised, hell, I want my LIFE back, Im so fed up of feeling depressed and anxious, when can I drink, how can I plan things around drinking, will anyone start nagging me again... for me moderation doesn't work, alcohol has a power over me that I just can't control, I cannot control alcohol, so I have to cut it out of my life all together.
Whatever you decide, I hope you are honest with yourself and I hope you stay safe.
L x
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
No moderation never worked for me.
Alcoholism is progressive,it gets worse,never better.Sometimes I thought I was controlling my drinking,it would work for a time,then it would .
Whatever you decide to do I wish you well
Alcoholism is progressive,it gets worse,never better.Sometimes I thought I was controlling my drinking,it would work for a time,then it would .
Whatever you decide to do I wish you well
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
I hoped to be able to moderate for close to 30 years and never achieved it. I even tried "formal" approaches like Moderation Management and Harm Reduction. None of it ever worked for long, and the amount of effort I found to be enormous. I now find the whole concept harm reduction unacceptable to me. I prefer harm elimination.
You know yourself best and if the old patterns return along with the worry, pain or whatever brought you here, then SR is here.
You know yourself best and if the old patterns return along with the worry, pain or whatever brought you here, then SR is here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 254
I know that not drinking for a week and a half seems like a million years to you now, but people who naturally control, go 3,4,5 times and more longer than that between drinks without so much as thinking about it...
However, best wishes to you...
However, best wishes to you...
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
People who can moderate and control their drinking do it naturally.They don't think about it.
People who don't have drink problems don't google sober websites and don't join them
having a period ofsobriety doesn't 'cure' us or suddenly make us able to control our drinking.
Going back to drinking after a period of sobriety just unleashes the beast
Most of us havetriedto control/moderate our drinking before we joined here, and failed.
If you have to try to control your drinking it is already in control of you
People who don't have drink problems don't google sober websites and don't join them
having a period ofsobriety doesn't 'cure' us or suddenly make us able to control our drinking.
Going back to drinking after a period of sobriety just unleashes the beast
Most of us havetriedto control/moderate our drinking before we joined here, and failed.
If you have to try to control your drinking it is already in control of you
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Lot of voices of experience here Looking4. For me, the desire to moderate or return to drinking before the span of even a typical vacation is indicative of addiction.
The thing is..only you can decide if you want sobriety. You don't.
I too wish you safety in your efforts. I believe the possibility of anyone appearing in this thread to post regarding their successful moderation is pretty slim. Although Elvis may show up.
The thing is..only you can decide if you want sobriety. You don't.
I too wish you safety in your efforts. I believe the possibility of anyone appearing in this thread to post regarding their successful moderation is pretty slim. Although Elvis may show up.
Every Mother's Worst Nightmare
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Deep in the heart of LaLa land
Posts: 688
Originally Posted by looking4awagon 
Just curious, have any of you out there ever learned to control your drinking? Are there any success stories?
Well I'm not exactly getting crushed by the stampede.
Still, best of luck to you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
What brought you to stop if you could moderate.
I would be happy if you had said this after six months or a year rather than eleven days it might mean more.
How long did you try to moderate in the last seven years.
Give sobriety a chance it took a lot longer for me to see the enhanced life not drinking provides.
Remember as soon as you start the part of your brain that is used to high levels of alcohol has not been reset it will almost straight away want to be back at that level and after a few successful evenings of moderation within a week you will be back on and it's only a time until that increases again.
I can't stop you but would ask you to stay sober so much longer , count your money look at other things , then try if you have to once you've given sobriety a chance to flower.
Don't forget this place it was the one tool I needed after decades of enjoying drinking IPA,s wine, and having all the dreadful consequences that also come with them.
John.
I would be happy if you had said this after six months or a year rather than eleven days it might mean more.
How long did you try to moderate in the last seven years.
Give sobriety a chance it took a lot longer for me to see the enhanced life not drinking provides.
Remember as soon as you start the part of your brain that is used to high levels of alcohol has not been reset it will almost straight away want to be back at that level and after a few successful evenings of moderation within a week you will be back on and it's only a time until that increases again.
I can't stop you but would ask you to stay sober so much longer , count your money look at other things , then try if you have to once you've given sobriety a chance to flower.
Don't forget this place it was the one tool I needed after decades of enjoying drinking IPA,s wine, and having all the dreadful consequences that also come with them.
John.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
For me, guys asking if moderation in drinking works for others is like their asking if being busy arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic on its maiden voyage is an important accomplishment. Yeah, this chair here, and this one just so... sure it works, if you don't much care about the eventual results of your short-lived efforts.
What is success with controlled drinking? Is being drunk okay? Slightly buzzed better? Black outs ruled out goes without saying?
Any kind of control effort with alcohol requires never ending detailed justifications meaning plenty of mental gymnastics in play to weigh all the quantitative vs qualitative personal experiences. Whaaaat?!
And then of course there are the feelings... the personal feelings when asking of oneself "So, how do I feel being like the drinking police checking myself out with each drink? This constant supervision is fun? Yeah. Right. Hmmm?!"
There are many reasons to moderate drinking. Yeah, just no good ones, is my experience. Moderation was one of those things I just had to try before I could honestly understand just how far I had already gone south with my drinking. I kept telling myself if moderation doesn't work, then I'll quit for sure. Yeah, right. I kept drinking for years past my early moderation failures. Smoke and mirrors and lies.
The only success I ever had with moderation were times I "pretended" I had it going on while I was drinking. Heavy emphasis on the pretending scenario for me anyways. Eventually all the pretending ended and all I had for all my effort was me drowning in my alcoholism.
What is success with controlled drinking? Is being drunk okay? Slightly buzzed better? Black outs ruled out goes without saying?
Any kind of control effort with alcohol requires never ending detailed justifications meaning plenty of mental gymnastics in play to weigh all the quantitative vs qualitative personal experiences. Whaaaat?!
And then of course there are the feelings... the personal feelings when asking of oneself "So, how do I feel being like the drinking police checking myself out with each drink? This constant supervision is fun? Yeah. Right. Hmmm?!"
There are many reasons to moderate drinking. Yeah, just no good ones, is my experience. Moderation was one of those things I just had to try before I could honestly understand just how far I had already gone south with my drinking. I kept telling myself if moderation doesn't work, then I'll quit for sure. Yeah, right. I kept drinking for years past my early moderation failures. Smoke and mirrors and lies.
The only success I ever had with moderation were times I "pretended" I had it going on while I was drinking. Heavy emphasis on the pretending scenario for me anyways. Eventually all the pretending ended and all I had for all my effort was me drowning in my alcoholism.
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