Saddler

Day 14 for me today. This has been a weird week. Last week I was really tense/agitated, didn't sleep well, but made it thru the week and weekend by keeping super busy.

This week - I felt like I was on the was down a little bit; not getting depressed or thinking about drinking or anything, just "losing steam" a little. By yesterday afternoon I felt like a zombie at work. When I got home around 6 yesterday, I absolutely crashed. Slept until about 8:15, got up for a while, then back to sleep around midnight. It was almost like one of my old hangover days - my pattern used to be drink tons one day, be hung over massively the next day (limp thru the workday then home to get in bed).

I'm not sure why I'm experiencing this, just wanted to share. Today I feel pretty perky though, hope another afternoon crash is not coming though.

firstweek

Hi everybody....I found an AA group in the next city that is English speaking. So I am going this Sunday at 3pm - scary. I took this week off work explained to my bosses that I had some personal issues - they were quite understanding and I am doing my best to work from home. I have made this week the one where I concentrate on my recovery. Tomorrow I get a call from the addictions counsellor. My mum who lives in Ireland sends me a sms of encouragement everyday. I also managed to get myself a little car so I can get to my AA group and counsellor....my old one was written off due to an accident a few weeks ago (not my fault thankfully) I was rear ended by another car ...... nice to be mobile again. Thanks everybody for your constant support and encouragement...baby steps all the way for us. God bless and I am praying for you all (and I'm not even a very good catholic!) xxx

BLKDIESEL

Firstweek, that is good to hear, seems that you are making progress and taking active steps for your recovery that all a good sign. Don't be scared of the AA meeting you are going to meet likeminded supportive people there. Let that fear become anticipation for only progress will become of it. Stay the course, we are here for you.

4Surf4Life

Very inspiring to read about everyone taking active steps towards achieving and keeping sobriety. I'm in bed now at the end of day 2, and although I feel much better than yesterday, I still have some serious doubts about my ability to keep at this long time...

I guess that for the time being I will just ficus on getting through the day. I hope that everyone is doing well!

BLKDIESEL

Well folks, this is day 3 of my journey and I rose early and meditated and listened to my pastor's sermon (As I do daily during the week) on finishing what you started #Powerful.

As i stated I'm a binge drinker, still and alcoholic though just of a different sort. With that said I'm accustomed to going days with no craving, anxiety, agitation and the like, so my weeks are a routine from Monday to Friday. My cycle begins on the weekends when I get into the social environments that are conducive to drinking and I drink to excess and then slow down because i'm tired on Sunday evenings and then feeling like **** on Mondays with no energy or zest.

The problem is with this type of cycle is that i've been doing this for years and its starting to become a physical/health and viscious cycle for me and has to be done with. I've tried to be moderate on weekends but my tolerance for alcohol has been horrible over the years so I'm finding blackout days are too frequent and the stumbling and slurring far too frequent on my binge days on weekends. This has started to impact my fitness regimen because i'm sabotaging my progress being that all my weeks work is shot to hell on the weekends and i don't get to the gym and the track because i'm done from drinking on Fri/Sat/Sun.

So I've decided that God is trying to tell me to get off this cycle or it will only get worse and the signs are beginning to manifest themselves. So I "have" to give up the beers, being that I'm a beer drinker primarily, the drinking buddy environments and get back to the man that I'm capable of being. I've been derailed off that road for a while. Sorry for the rant but this is my journey so far...So on 8/26/2013 I've decided to turn a new page and I'm hear to assist and be assisted on this journey. So here goes Day 3 feeling fantastic and hoping all you are doing well on your own journey.

BLKDIESEL

FYI- just to detail my routine as stated in paragraph 2...I don't drink during the week, I'm a weekend warrior which does not change my status of alcoholic either. It just makes it easier to justify not having a problem because I can go days without thinking about, or being affected by alcohol. The binge at week's end can still result in the same devestation if I drank every day of the week and that is what I had to understand at this juncture. IT IS A PROBLEM AND IT MUST BE STOPPED!!!

bblackbirdflyy

Good Morning everyone! Day 12 up and at em!

4surf... never underestimate the power of positive thinking. Self-doubt will lead you right back to the bottle. You can do this!

Diesel happy day 3! I like the idea of meditating every morning. I need to start a similar routine. I'm all about positive changes right now. The plan is to go for a little jog in the "wee hours" of the morning. Maybe tomorrow, 5:30am and I haven't exactly been on speaking terms lately.

Saddler- hope you get outta the funk today!

Firstweek - so happy that you have found an English speaking group! Good luck on your first meeting. Its also good that you got a car. Being American, I would be absolutely up sh*t creek if something happened to mine! Its a real beater though and I will need to find a new one soon!

Have a good sober day all!

merchantsun

[QUOTE=BLKDIESEL;4146777]
As i stated I'm a binge drinker, still and alcoholic though just of a different sort. With that said I'm accustomed to going days with no craving, anxiety, agitation and the like, so my weeks are a routine from Monday to Friday. My cycle begins on the weekends when I get into the social environments that are conducive to drinking and I drink to excess and then slow down because i'm tired on Sunday evenings and then feeling like **** on Mondays with no energy or zest.
[QUOTE]

This is exactly my story!! I can relate is so many ways. And yes, it is a vicious cycle that must be stopped. We can do this!!

CardHat

[QUOTE=merchantsun;4146819][QUOTE=BLKDIESEL;4146777]
As i stated I'm a binge drinker, still and alcoholic though just of a different sort. With that said I'm accustomed to going days with no craving, anxiety, agitation and the like, so my weeks are a routine from Monday to Friday. My cycle begins on the weekends when I get into the social environments that are conducive to drinking and I drink to excess and then slow down because i'm tired on Sunday evenings and then feeling like **** on Mondays with no energy or zest.
I'm in the same boat. Have been in this routine since high school and never got out of it for more than a few months. It was what all my friends were doing on the weekends. But maybe I was just seeking out people who wanted to drink. It's been consuming, and it is not normal. It is a problem and we have finally woken up. I don't know what took so long.

ZoeM

Yeah me too - I was a binge drinker. Never used to bother me for 7-10 days and then hell, I made up for it. Now on 20 days, so I figure I'm in with a real chance this time

kellyg

Day 4 here and happy to be sober. Dee - I will think of a change I need to make today

Good luck to all you August-ers? -inians?

Nature74

I was a binge drinker too...except I did it everyday. Yikes!! Welcome again to all you Augustites!!! Now on day 5!

Serenity1972

BLK - Your story sounds so similar to mine. I could have written it myself. I tried to moderate my drinking on weekends too, but that never worked (moderation doesn't work for me ever). I would buy pint of vodka (instead of the usual 1.75 L) on Friday evening on my way home from work only to have drank 6 pints or more before the weekend was over. So much for moderation right? So yeah, it got pretty rough for me too. I also felt that the weekend warrior type of binge drinking was sabotaging my physical health. I worked out Monday - Friday for 1 hour prior to getting ready for work, only to exceed my calories on the weekend by pouring the drink down my throat. I figured well if I didn't eat (and I didn't) than it would level out. For the most part it did, but I just couldn't go on like that anymore. I was wasting time working out, I was wasting time planning my weekend drinking, I was wasting so much of my life and time that I finally got sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I repeated this cycle for 8 years. I have been sober for the past 3 weekends. I don't count days as I normally don't have a problem controlling the urge to drink on the weekdays so it just made sense to me to count my sobriety days in weeks.

I can tell you that I feel so much better on the weekends and Monday mornings. I feel overall better about myself since I locked the bottle up.

Thanks for sharing.

MrBen

Day 1- I tried before and failed. The most a went was a week before I convinced myself I didn't really have a problem and I could have a beer. Within a few days I was guzzling 12 packs like they were water. No excuses this time round, this is it.

Serenity1972

Welcome to the class Ben. I am glad you finally decided that you have had enough and you are ready to end your drinking career. Moderation didn't work for me. I find that we alcoholics just can not moderate at ALL.

Elseware

I have been thinking about my days of drinking. If I am honest with myself, I think I was an alcoholic from drink one. First time I drank I got drunk and I loved it. I admit I had a blackout in high school. I almost never just had a drink. I always drank to get drunk and I always did. Hardly a day went by when I didn't at least drink a bottle of wine.. In college I added pot, acid, cocaine, pills. Then I got pregnant. Everything stopped then. I was totally sober (thank God!) for about a year. Then things gradually started up again. I hate to tell you the things my baby took in with his mother's milk. And gradually they got worse. It was sneaking up on me, sort of. I reasoned that if I was still working and taking care of things, I wasn't an alcoholic. Just a "heavy drinker"! HA! Years went by. I did so many reckless things its a wonder I'm still alive. Finally, I was about to lose my second husband. My life was going away. I had to stop and I did. It was not easy. Especially in social situations. Because I'm really very shy. And I had been using alcohol to socialize since I was 15 years old. I was doing ok although becoming rather isolated because I had to stay away from my drinking friends. Then the pills started in earnest. I love that Vicodin as much as I loathe it. It was such a vicious cycle. I needed more and more. But that was gradual, too. The last pill will be on Friday. Then I will really be free of it all. For the first time since that pregnancy in my 20's. (I'm 62). Although I would really like to try some Ecstasy...OMG! See what that devil in my brain does?!? My health is really excellent, considering it all. Please pray for me to go on to my journey of soberiety. Saturday will be the first day free. A new life! I am sure I will be in pain for at least another week but I can see the light shining ahead.....finally. Thanks for being here.

Sheknits

Morning Everyone!

I was MIA the last couple days because I was working, it's so nice to come back and read about the successes and see all the new members of our class. Welcome!

For those who are still struggling, I think that being able to pick yourself up, wipe yourself off and try again is one of the most admirable traits, congratulations!

Day 17 for me today. Monday was a serious struggle, usually after my shift is when I crave a glass (read bottle) of wine the most. All afternoon AV was chiming in, but I'm still here. I just ate a pound of chocolate and ice cream instead. So much for my plans of weight loss! Haha.

One thing at a time.

Kys

Hi all. I've been trying since Jan. I have social things on all weekend and there will be pressure to drink. Honestly, right now I'm pretty sure I will.

If I had my way I would rather not go to any of these events.


In general, I'm thinking about AA, not really sure, never thought I'd say that. I still wonder if this is just me being compulsive. Think I should research some other alternatives alongside AA too. It's funny, as much as I've read about it here I still wouldn't know what to expect. A detox away is something I would love but don't know how I would ever pull it off given work and going MIA from the world, I couldn't just up and do it tomorrow either, I'd love nothing more though.

Best all.

Serenity1972

Andrea - I am glad you were able to shut your AV up and pressed on with your day. I find that when the beast starts to emerge a piece of chocolate cake or anything sweet will eventually lock the beast up. I am struggling with sweets on my trigger days in a major way but at least I am not drinking.

Serenity1972

Kys - Take things one day at a time. You can do this. You don't need to pick up this weekend due to social events. I have a long weekend ahead of me. I have 5 days off from work staring tomorrow. This usually meant a 5 day bender instead of a 2.5 day bender, but I have a plan in place to keep me sober. I am doing things that I normally wouldn't do, but I also have social events to attend. I will not let alcohol dictate my holiday weekend. This WILL be my first Labor Day free from alcohol. I am staying positive and not setting myself up for failure.

I am glad you are pondering the thought of attending AA meetings and additional support. I am rooting for you and badly. I so much want sobriety for you. You just need to want it for yourself.

I will be thinking of you.