Class of August 2013 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,252
I am fighting the beast hard right now, this minute. I have a few pills left from my taper. After that my source is gone. It's kind of freaking me out. I want to go in there and eat every one of those pills because this anxiety is awful. I won't. That's how my sister killed herself. I want to live! I so much want to feel good and alive again. But I want to get high so bad. Anything to escape this. Wine would do and I have not had a drink in nearly 6 years. And I'm not going there! Somehow this seems worse than alcohol although maybe I just forgot because when I stopped the alcohol I went immediately to Vicodin. I can't believe I've done this to myself. My husband is leaving tomorrow for a while. Visiting relatives. I just couldn't bring myself to get packed for a trip and go visiting feeling like this. So I'll be alone for the last bit of this. I've tried to hide some of this from him because I just don't want him to know how bad it is. Of course he knows something is wrong but...He's in such a good mood and I'm trying not to be irritable. So I guess I am coping. Thanks for being here. Your posts have kept me going today.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 737
Elseware - Just found this on the web - hope it helps? x
Vicodin withdrawal timeline - Addiction: Substance Abuse - MedHelp
Vicodin withdrawal timeline - Addiction: Substance Abuse - MedHelp
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Japan
Posts: 147
I feel a bit strange joining this group (my 4th???) so near the end of the month, but I really feel like I need some support at the moment and didn't want to wait to join the September group. Somehow it feels like cheating as many of you are now nearing one full month sober. Hope you don't mind if I tag along and pick up some inspiration during these early days.
I have been trying to beat this alcohol addiction for a while now, and joined SR a little under 1 year ago, but I always convince myself that I can moderate, or that I deserve to be able to drink. As many of you will surely know, moderation does not work for long and I have slid back into my old ways every time.
In some ways I feel that I have been very lucky so far- I have job that I love and have recently met a great woman with whom I enjoy spending time. Despite this, I know that my addiction to alcohol is holding me back from realizing my life to its full potential. It's like I'm driving a car with the parking brake on. I want to release the brake and to experience true freedom from now on. I want to live a healthier, happier life and help others to do the same. Complete abstinence from alcohol is the first step that I need to take in order to make this change happen.
Having learned from my past failures, I know that this will not be easy, but I am here again and ready to work towards my goals. Day 1.
I have been trying to beat this alcohol addiction for a while now, and joined SR a little under 1 year ago, but I always convince myself that I can moderate, or that I deserve to be able to drink. As many of you will surely know, moderation does not work for long and I have slid back into my old ways every time.
In some ways I feel that I have been very lucky so far- I have job that I love and have recently met a great woman with whom I enjoy spending time. Despite this, I know that my addiction to alcohol is holding me back from realizing my life to its full potential. It's like I'm driving a car with the parking brake on. I want to release the brake and to experience true freedom from now on. I want to live a healthier, happier life and help others to do the same. Complete abstinence from alcohol is the first step that I need to take in order to make this change happen.
Having learned from my past failures, I know that this will not be easy, but I am here again and ready to work towards my goals. Day 1.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
SurfLife, it's never too late in the month to quit booze or join us. Better late August than early September or never. I only have a couple days and others too.
Elseware. Getting off this vicodin will be awesome for you. I'm glad you are not turning to the wine. You know what a bad outcome that will have. I was on 3 klonapins a day and the booze for a long time. A terrible combination.
I'm going get through day 3 tomorrow. My friend loves to go to Disney and although it would not be my choice to go there has offered to pay for everything and even a couple of days on the beach in September. None of the party beaches will be on my list. I'm going to try to find us a secluded quiet beach location. Or I feel like I would be pretty safe to just stay in Disney.
Night, time for some LOST
Elseware. Getting off this vicodin will be awesome for you. I'm glad you are not turning to the wine. You know what a bad outcome that will have. I was on 3 klonapins a day and the booze for a long time. A terrible combination.
I'm going get through day 3 tomorrow. My friend loves to go to Disney and although it would not be my choice to go there has offered to pay for everything and even a couple of days on the beach in September. None of the party beaches will be on my list. I'm going to try to find us a secluded quiet beach location. Or I feel like I would be pretty safe to just stay in Disney.
Night, time for some LOST
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Japan
Posts: 147
Thanks for the kind words Johnny! Yeah, it crossed my mind to wait until September, but I didn't want to risk losing my motivation or falling into another cycle of "I'll quit tomorrow". There is no time like NOW!!!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Ireland
Posts: 300
Hey people,
4surf - Welcome! - lots of us here are not sober the entire month, my date is August 10th.
I think that urge to start on the 1st of the month, a Monday, New Year's Day etc has been a stumbling block for me in the past. I craved the perfectionism and symmetry of what I thought to be the idealised moments to quit. I finally get that the right time to stop is today - whatever the calendar says!! So well done for that!
Having a stressful week as one of my dogs has to have an operation today to repair a ruptured cruciate ligament. He'll be at the vet's (which he detests!!) until Monday confined to a cage and generally made to rest. I love this little guy so much, I know it has to be done etc but I hate leaving him there with his eyes looking at me like I'm deserting him. Luckily for me no urges to drink and use this as an excuse.
EQ - I really appreciate your words of caution in reply to my post a few days ago. Don't worry, I do realise I still have alot of work to do. I do like a quick-fix solution and by saying I feel like my alcoholism has been re-framed for me as a personal morality issue is not to say that I won't be tempted by urges at certain points. I know this only too well. When I've drank in the past after saying I'd quit it tended to be moments of madness, or almost like willful non-thinking. So consciousness is hugely important, plus not being surprised or disappointed when I do feel the urge or cravings. But thankyou for the reminder!
4surf - Welcome! - lots of us here are not sober the entire month, my date is August 10th.
I think that urge to start on the 1st of the month, a Monday, New Year's Day etc has been a stumbling block for me in the past. I craved the perfectionism and symmetry of what I thought to be the idealised moments to quit. I finally get that the right time to stop is today - whatever the calendar says!! So well done for that!
Having a stressful week as one of my dogs has to have an operation today to repair a ruptured cruciate ligament. He'll be at the vet's (which he detests!!) until Monday confined to a cage and generally made to rest. I love this little guy so much, I know it has to be done etc but I hate leaving him there with his eyes looking at me like I'm deserting him. Luckily for me no urges to drink and use this as an excuse.
EQ - I really appreciate your words of caution in reply to my post a few days ago. Don't worry, I do realise I still have alot of work to do. I do like a quick-fix solution and by saying I feel like my alcoholism has been re-framed for me as a personal morality issue is not to say that I won't be tempted by urges at certain points. I know this only too well. When I've drank in the past after saying I'd quit it tended to be moments of madness, or almost like willful non-thinking. So consciousness is hugely important, plus not being surprised or disappointed when I do feel the urge or cravings. But thankyou for the reminder!
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