john44

I was a high functioning alcoholic. For a time. And then I wasn't.

I had the high paying job, was respected, gorgeous wife...was active in my son's life...had all the trappings of a successful suburban life.

The problem with being a high functioning alcoholic is that a lot of times the alcoholism progresses to the point where the only function you can perform is drinking to blackout. This happened to me. I didn't feel very high functioning when I was laying in the hospital (for the umpteenth time) with tubes coming out of my arms detoxing from alcohol.

The good news is that I'm recovering. My mind, my wit, my memories and knowledge are intact. I feel good. I can function now at a much higher level than ever.

The good news for you is that you can avoid the hell I've gone through and have put my family through with my alcoholism. You can stop now before the progression of this disease causes you any terrible consequences. You may also notice, after becoming sober, that you weren't as high functioning as you thought you were.

Nattythreads

That is so true John.

rustyr

Excellent point - just wrote that one down.

scintillady

I went in for inpatient detox on May 1. Most of the people I dealt with every single day had no idea I was an alcoholic. Even my partner thought I was being dramatic when I said I wanted to go through detox. he didn't think I drank that much. He just never kept track of how much I drank because I hid the extent of it from him. While I was in detox, I was the only person there who was there for the first time. Someone actually told me they thought I "didn't look like an alcoholic". I have no plans to have to do that again, but I have to say, it has been really difficult and I have relapsed a few times. I'm still committed to not ever going back there, and while I was there, I realized how fortunate I was to be going back to a nice home, job, and a supportive partner. Some of the people I met, if not most of them, were going back to jail, or a shelter, and some of them had nowhere to go.

bigsombrero

scintillady - I noticed that in detox as well. How long was your stay? Mine was just 2 nights (I think). I had to share a room with a Fidel Castro look-a-like and most of the clientele there were return visitors. Scared me straight, that's for sure.

That said, I followed up with inpatient treatment for 22 days after the detox center, and the differences could not have been more stark. Treatment was full of caring councilors, professionals like myself looking to get well, young folks, old folks, and people from all walks of life. We did have prisoners there, but we had businessmen and women as well. The bottom line at that center was addiction, and how to treat it - check your ego at the door. It changed my life and is the reason I am still sober 1 year later. The differences in a detox center vs. treatment center are HUGE. Please do not let your one experience in a detox center shape your view on recovery, treatment, or alcoholism. Detox and treatment are two very different animals. Good luck to all, I hope everyone here, regardless of how the classify themselves, is on a path to wellness.

secretary

I cannot believe that 31 one days have flown by (okay, some days were the longest of my life) and I am still sober! This is the longest time I've been sober in a loooong time. I still miss the vodka and probably will forever. I will continue to do this a day at a time.

And I could not have done it without SR. Thank you.

Sallylou

Thanks guys! Well I haven't had a drink in 5 days!!!! Can't say it's been easy I've been a grumpy cow and had we had alcohol in the house last night would have given in. I've told my closest friends that I'm giving up the booze, a couple were like you don't have a problem or do you? But my closest friend said" I'm here for you" and that's all I needed to here. No explanations no feeling shame. I've thrown myself into studying at night (couldn't do it before so used to fit it in work!) just to keep my mind busy. I've also started taking a daily photo of my face which had gone puffy, tired looking and red any signs of physical improvement should keep me in track right?! Thanks again to you all I'm so glad I've found this site and people who can talk to directly. X

Sallylou

Well done secretary!!!!! And to you all, awe inspiring people!

huntingtontx

I am so proud of you Sallylou. I love that you also notice that your face is not puffy. I did not even know mine was until it wasn't. You go. One day at a time we can do this.

Dejvice

I was in similar position......really highly function alcoholic.....but probably more that that when I look back on it.

What keeps me going is the great lifestyle, the fact that my family has 100percent of me, that I am free from a liquid that controlled my life, how my outlook has changed etc. A lot of things. But I would stress that I am still on this journey, and yes I do have a few tough days, but no reason to turn to drink. The journey I guess is getting back to that person I used to be before alcohol started to take over my life.....lets face it does take over your life.

Another thing that drives me is that way I was drinking....I could not imagine how much I would be drinking after say another 10 - 20 years, I think that is where I focus on, how much I can get from my life without alcohol, and how much more my family can get from me (in every sense mentally.....meaning you are giving it your all). As a coach would say 'leave everything you have on the field....give it your all'.

You only get one chance at this game and I am sure not going to let a liquid control my life.

Dee74

congratulations Sally

D