Nonsensical

A variation on this theme would be that you signed up to a recovery site because you know you're abusing alcohol and your focus seems to be on drinking in the future instead of managing not drinking in the present.

I wrestled with this same thing for decades, though, so I understand where you're coming from. It only got worse for me.

Hope you find your answers!

Carlotta

Too much of a wimp to even think about it

That sounds fun, how do you physically do that? I'd like to try it sober LOL

That's gross plus all those calories in the cereals and orange juice are calories you could have gotten from beer instead

I live TV free but I will try to do it some time sober LOL

wiscsober

pleasehelpmeout You are worthy of recovery and deserve to live a healthy life.

I want everyone who suffers from alcoholism/addiction to live a life of sobriety and good health.

It is wise for any person to consult with medical professionals.

All SR members will find a wealth of advice and differing ideas.

My extensive experiences, knowledge, and research concerning alcoholism has convinced me of the disease concept.

I also use REBT, AA, Alanon, and SR.

I would be remiss not mentioning I think it is a disease.

visch1

Hi. for me I cannot drink alcohol in safety! In safety means that all the things that happen to alcoholics is waiting for me if I pick up 1(ONE) DRINK! BE WELL

TnRobert

I believe if a person asks them self that question then they already have the answer.

Congrats on 7 days, keep it going.

visch1

OMG I can't believe such MISS information comes from an apparent intelligent person. What basis is that conclusion drawn from? I've said the internet is so often tainted with things from people who have no clue. In my many years in AA I've never heard of an alcoholic returning to safe drinking even second hand information. Never once have I heard anyone say drinking was anything but horrible and life was great. We have a physical ailment which is controlled by not drinking, now that's a fact and not a new internet theory.

sugarbear1

Drinking isn't my problem. Alcohol was my choice for feeling okay in my own skin. I happen to have a high tolerance and I used other substances to help get out of my head, my own skin, to feel okay with the world around me.

Alcoholism is my problem which means I am self will run riot when left to my own thoughts.....

Drinking was a symptom of my alcoholism. I can't drink or I am sucked into the abyss of drink and drugs.....life gets really dark in there.

lookingforher

I stared to realize I was an alcoholic when I needed to drink before tests/exams in university just to think straight and get through the 2/3 hour sitting. This also meant drinking when typing up 10 and 15 page papers at home.

NotTooSmart

I thought being sober/dry for 2+ years was long enough to make me normal. The first drink didn't get me. Neither did the second. It took six months before I found myself sneaking shots from a bottle of vodka my husband had for years and had forgotten about, while sharing a bottle of wine with him. I chose not to think about the implications of that behavior. It started 5 months ago and I'm on day 7.

Moderation... It never did work well for me, when it comes to alcohol. It's a lesson that's really not much fun to learn more than once.

DrSober

First, I never said "alcoholics" can return to safe drinking. I said "problem drinkers" MAY be able to return to safe drinking. The tricky part there is it's near impossible to tell for sure who is simply a "problem drinker" versus who is an "alcoholic."

Second, honestly, who cares? Doesn't change my larger point - that even if you suspect you might not be an alcoholic, but instead are merely a problem drinker for whom moderation management and controlled drinking programs might be appropriate - it's still a better choice to pursue abstinence. The cost-benefit analysis just doesn't add up to pursue moderation, a mistake can kill you. Mistakenly pursuing abstinence means you live a good life.

If you want reference, they're out there. It's a controversial subject, for sure. But again, I'm not quoting something I heard on 4Chan or Reddit - these aren't wild conspiracy theories.

Eddiebuckle

How do you know?

It's not about what you drink, how you drink, when you drink, how frequently, with whom, or why... it's what happens when you drink. If you have no idea whether you can control it once you start, you probably have crossed the line. The problem is that for most people, once they cross the line into alcoholic drinking, they can never return to "normal" drinking (if it ever existed for them in the first place). If it took a week to clear your head, that wasn't a hangover - that was your central nervous system starting to heal.

I suggest you google "alcohol kindling" - and consider if you really want to pick up the gun and play roulette again. Alcoholism isn't a temporary inconvenience - it's a progressive disease. Only you can say whether you are an alcoholic, but if you come to the conclusion that you are - treat the disease with respect, because it plays for keeps.

Grungehead

I always thought this was a good thing to ask myself...

When drinking do I think about not drinking...and when I am not drinking do I think about drinking?

My answer to these questions is always yes, so I have a mental obsession over alcohol.

Next, can I always control the amount I drink once I start drinking?

My answer to this is no, so I have physical cravings for alcohol once I start drinking.

Having answered these questions the way I did I consider myself an alcoholic. Basically I want to stop drinking, but when I do then I constantly think about drinking, and once I do drink I can't stop drinking.

Jbl347

Hello. I just quit, (again) this time because of a serious threat to a relationship that I cannot live without. My boyfriend. I need him more than Any booze. I was a person who used to think I could go to dinner and have one or two wines. The fact that I think this I now realize is a serious problem.
I have a function to go to tomorrow night and here I am thinking, "oh ill just have a wine with dinner". I can't be serious!!!! That's so weak of me! I am woman I am strong and I do not need booze just because its free and would taste great with dinner.
Lets be honest my one my turn into one too many like it has in the past. Then, my relationship will be finished terminated. Omg I can't believe I even thought of having one! I need my boyfroend who loves and cares for me I love him too. I do not however love alcohol, all it's ever done was hurt me and give me false hope leading to regret! Not to mention makes me gain weight with empty calories:
I know how you feel 7 strong days! Nice job

RobbyRobot

I am a recovered alcoholic drug addict, and I know this to be true from my own experiences drawn from being a chronic drinker who eventually quit for the last time in 1981 and never returned to drinking again.

Alcoholism is something I have no difficulty in understanding how it applies to me as a sober alcoholic today, and as an alcoholic drinker back in the day. For me, it's more an ideal identification of where I'm coming from when I was an active drinker, and it supports my choices to remain abstinent when it comes to any future drinking opportunities, such as wine-tasting, for example.

Before my last quit, I tried moderation without success. Even when I managed to slow down, I'd sooner than later drink all the faster when I could no longer reason out why I was controlling my drinking behaviors. I always reached an eventual comfort zone that would simply take me away from any moderation constraints. I never did better then to simply force myself to not drink while being in sheer misery waiting for the justifications to convince me that it was okay to get good and drunk again and again. I was just lying to myself so as to not drink. A dumbass game.

Moderation blows.

The other thing, less important, is how completely my life has changed for the better since I quit drinking. Alcohol the drug is not a good thing for me to eat, lol. The facts for me speak for themselves - when I drank my life stank - when I don't my life rejoices - for me this has everything to do with my alcoholism in very personal means and ways. My being drunk was an obvious screw up. My being sober is a just as obvious blessing as a gift that keeps on giving back to me. I know what I know from my own experiences, and that's good enough for me.

Dee74

I removed some posts. Please try to stay on topic.

PMs are great for those little tangential discussions that mushroom up but probably mean little to the OP or their question.

Thanks.

D

visch1

[QUOTE=DrSober;4087015]First, I never said "alcoholics" can return to safe drinking. I said "problem drinkers" MAY be able to return to safe drinking. The tricky part there is it's near impossible to tell for sure who is simply a "problem drinker" versus who is an "alcoholic."

Second, honestly, who cares? Doesn't change my larger point - that even if you suspect you might not be an alcoholic, but instead are merely a problem drinker for whom moderation management and controlled drinking programs might be appropriate - it's still a better choice to pursue abstinence. The cost-benefit analysis just doesn't add up to pursue moderation, a mistake can kill you. Mistakenly pursuing abstinence means you live a good life.

QUOTE]
!st is that people reading these posts are seeing themselves as alcoholics which indicates problem drinking.
So with what authority do you post knowingly the impossibility in finding the difference Dr. Your post certainly could convince many with the shite fairy active, rationalization "Hey, I'm only a problem drinker so I can continue drinking." Perhaps a couple are now dead today after reading what they wanted to see on the internet. This sort of thing is what I referred to when the old timers said as a newcomer we have nothing to contribute so sit up front and listen. Who cares? This is not a lecture hall being given to a group of people who don't have a clue. This is life and DEATH posted by an unknown authority on the INTERNET! Try to remember that the phyc, medical community, church and all so called research has in over centuries has made NO significant contribution in deterring alcoholism, individually or as a hole. AA has though!
BE WELL

Dee74

I think we all need to calm down a bit.
Noone dies from words on the internet - noones that powerful.

I made the choice to try and moderate for many years - I eventually realised that was a futile dream for me because alcohol, even the littlest bit of alcohol, changed me.

after 6 years, and many thousands of threads, I've yet to find a continuing successful tale of moderation here at SR....but people will still try it - we all know that.

Now, getting back to the original post:
You don't know - thats the great hook that leads so many people to drink again.

There is no amount of time that resets people - I know personally of people with 10, 15, 20, even 30 years sobriety who went right back to square one after drinking again.

this is from your first post pleasehelpmeout
Thats what you risk by drinking again - only you can decide if it's worth that risk.

The fact that you wrote this just over a week ago and you're already thinking of a time when you might drink again is very indicative to me of the condition we alcoholics all share.

if you've already crossed a line, I don't believe there's much hope of you crossing back over it.

D

yoohoo

Who knows. Maybe your an "untrue" alcoholic. But your still an alcoholic... You took 7 days to dry out. Sounds like a problem to me. Don't use self talk to think up reasons why you CAN drink.. It's a trick. But what would I know, I'm day 12. Hang in there.

visch1

Dee. I admire your wisdom and choice of words, thank you. I've worked with many newcomers over the years and as a result of much frustration with de-Nile and self honesty I carry a larger stick to get their attention, then wonder how's it working. Thanks again for carrying your daily messages. BE WELL down there in place beautiful.

DrSober

The thing I disagree with you about, visch1, is that our own personal "shite fairies" are far more powerful than any words of a random "authority" on the internet. If this OP thinks he's just a "problem drinker" vs. an "alcoholic," and suspects that he can moderate safely, there's nothing we can say to convince him otherwise, and I think you're mistaken to think so. Telling this person, "you're an alcoholic just for asking" is just a nice way to alienate him (which some have donw). Might make us feel good, won't help him, and I don't think is a fair point anyways.

I think the better route is to simply tell this person he might be mistaken and if he's mistaken, trying to moderate can kill him. Which is undeniably true regardless of how you feel about moderation approaches.

So you're saying that peer-reviewed, scientific research of psychosocial and medical approaches for alcohol treatment have shown over the "centuries" no effectiveness of any approach, other than Alcoholics Anonymous? Research has shown AA is *the* only effective approach?

I respect your opinion. I'll just leave it there.