How do you know if you are a true alcoholic?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,997
Hi Please,
Great job on the 7 days!
Who knows? I've known people who can and people who can't. I've known people who have struggled for years and people who just up and quit and never touched the stuff again...my Dad....81 years old and quit 40 some years ago by just putting it down and never touched it again. No meetings, no nothing..just stopped. Go figure.
That's a tricky one for sure. I just know for me that my history has proven that when I drink I lean towards I usually drink too much. When I drink too much, I do stupid stuff and I don't like myself. I have come to the conclusion I am better off staying away from it. One life or the other. I don't get to bounce between both. Tried but it didn't work.
Call me what you want..alcoholic, recovered, whatever...as long as I can call me happy and fulfilled..I don't care.
Congratulations on giving it a go on finding out which life serves you best!
Great job on the 7 days!
Who knows? I've known people who can and people who can't. I've known people who have struggled for years and people who just up and quit and never touched the stuff again...my Dad....81 years old and quit 40 some years ago by just putting it down and never touched it again. No meetings, no nothing..just stopped. Go figure.
That's a tricky one for sure. I just know for me that my history has proven that when I drink I lean towards I usually drink too much. When I drink too much, I do stupid stuff and I don't like myself. I have come to the conclusion I am better off staying away from it. One life or the other. I don't get to bounce between both. Tried but it didn't work.
Call me what you want..alcoholic, recovered, whatever...as long as I can call me happy and fulfilled..I don't care.
Congratulations on giving it a go on finding out which life serves you best!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
" So you're saying that peer-reviewed, scientific research of psychosocial and medical approaches for alcohol treatment have shown over the "centuries" no effectiveness of any approach, other than Alcoholics Anonymous? Research has shown AA is *the* only effective approach?"
It's far more effective than any other I've ever heard about over the past 35 years. As an indication most rehabs use a staff of AA people and it's philosophy for as long as I can remember, though the relapse rate is far higher than I'm comfortable with. I won't get into the BS of meanings like problem drinker or alcoholic as an alcoholic has a problem drinking in safety. It's for people looking for a excuse to drink, it's like a lawyer twisting and turning a law.
It's far more effective than any other I've ever heard about over the past 35 years. As an indication most rehabs use a staff of AA people and it's philosophy for as long as I can remember, though the relapse rate is far higher than I'm comfortable with. I won't get into the BS of meanings like problem drinker or alcoholic as an alcoholic has a problem drinking in safety. It's for people looking for a excuse to drink, it's like a lawyer twisting and turning a law.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Originally Posted by pleasehelpmeout 
Hi all,
Day 7 and going strong! My cravings have subsided and the cloudiness that I felt the last few days has disappeared. I'm starting to feel like myself again
My question for you all is how do you know if you are a true alcoholic? How can you tell if you are able to still drink in moderation? I am 26 years old and one day would love to go wine tasting with my wife (years from now when our kids are out of the house). How do I know if I will trigger my addiction again, or if perhaps I can drink in moderation? Is there such a thing as moderation? I know some people are able to do it and others are not.
Thoughts? Opinions?
Day 7 and going strong! My cravings have subsided and the cloudiness that I felt the last few days has disappeared. I'm starting to feel like myself again
My question for you all is how do you know if you are a true alcoholic? How can you tell if you are able to still drink in moderation? I am 26 years old and one day would love to go wine tasting with my wife (years from now when our kids are out of the house). How do I know if I will trigger my addiction again, or if perhaps I can drink in moderation? Is there such a thing as moderation? I know some people are able to do it and others are not.
Thoughts? Opinions?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: NJ
Posts: 20,458
Originally Posted by pleasehelpmeout
Hi all,
Day 7 and going strong! My cravings have subsided and the cloudiness that I felt the last few days has disappeared. I'm starting to feel like myself again
My question for you all is how do you know if you are a true alcoholic? How can you tell if you are able to still drink in moderation? I am 26 years old and one day would love to go wine tasting with my wife (years from now when our kids are out of the house). How do I know if I will trigger my addiction again, or if perhaps I can drink in moderation? Is there such a thing as moderation? I know some people are able to do it and others are not.
Thoughts? Opinions?
Day 7 and going strong! My cravings have subsided and the cloudiness that I felt the last few days has disappeared. I'm starting to feel like myself again
My question for you all is how do you know if you are a true alcoholic? How can you tell if you are able to still drink in moderation? I am 26 years old and one day would love to go wine tasting with my wife (years from now when our kids are out of the house). How do I know if I will trigger my addiction again, or if perhaps I can drink in moderation? Is there such a thing as moderation? I know some people are able to do it and others are not.
Thoughts? Opinions?
This is the original topic.....no program debates or questions about how one program is effective one is over another.
IDK, phmo...but why don't you wait a few months and then revisit this question. For me, moderating is exhausting, it is too much work. It's just a beverage, that's how I look at it, I refuse to let a liquid that has made me ill control my life.
I sometimes ask these questions too (but certainly not here), I've been sober just over 2 years, no formal program, just gratitude for being able to do much more with less hangovers and connecting here to learn about why I got addicted to booze. (I don't subscribe to the disease theory or any 12 step theories, debating them not what Newcomers is for).
Congrats on Day 8 and I hope you find what works for you.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: NJ
Posts: 64
When I just have one or two drinks, I don't feel good. I feel tired, antsy, uncomfortable, irritable. I never do that. I either drink everything or nothing. So now that I know that about myself, if I choose to drink, it better be on a night when I have nothing planned the next day, maybe even the day after, because I will be sick, tired, shaking, drowsy, nauseas, useless and filled with self-loathing.
I guess that is how I know I am an alcoholic although even still, I don't like that word, because I have a big addictive personality and my alcohol addiction is just one of many symptoms of it. I also abuse food and have a spending addiction. I wish there was a better word that encompassed everything.
I guess that is how I know I am an alcoholic although even still, I don't like that word, because I have a big addictive personality and my alcohol addiction is just one of many symptoms of it. I also abuse food and have a spending addiction. I wish there was a better word that encompassed everything.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: CAPE COD, MA
Posts: 1,020
"The idea of moderation ruffles feathers because oh so many have tried and failed...been killed or killed others. The decision is ultimately yours. Some people beat cancer too but I for one, wouldn't go willingly injecting a few cells just to see if I can keep it under control."
Very well said. The part been killed or killed others is so often overlooked by so many fighting for their right to continue to be immature, ignorant and still under control of alcoholic thinking/not. The people I beat the drum for is the victims of stupid behavior and self centeredness who want their undisciplined way so they can justify their anti social behavior. More power to those wanting to get sober and stay sober. BE WELL
Very well said. The part been killed or killed others is so often overlooked by so many fighting for their right to continue to be immature, ignorant and still under control of alcoholic thinking/not. The people I beat the drum for is the victims of stupid behavior and self centeredness who want their undisciplined way so they can justify their anti social behavior. More power to those wanting to get sober and stay sober. BE WELL
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Nunyah, California
Posts: 132
Because visch1's contributions keep pulling this debate into specific questions about superiority of different treatment approaches (specifically 12-step versus moderation versus "psyc and medical" approaches) I wanted to branch this discussion outside of the Newcomers forum, because it's not appropriate to bring up relative superiority of different methods over others in the Newcomers forum:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4087876
Visch1, just want to be clear here: we're on the same page. I don't think moderation approaches are something I would advise to the OP.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post4087876
Visch1, just want to be clear here: we're on the same page. I don't think moderation approaches are something I would advise to the OP.
Keeping it simple!
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
I know for me that I can't drink in moderation. One drink and I'm done for. I won't stop at one, or two or three. I will just keep going. Truth is once I start, I don't want to stop. It is like a switch has been turned on and I can no longer control it.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Bay Area CA
Posts: 142
Kind of strange because they say admitting you're an alcoholic is the hard part. For me, not so much. I've known I'm an alcoholic for years. Never any ambiguity for me in a very long time.
Never really tried to seriously moderate but I KNOW it wouldn't work for me.
I'll either succeed or I'll fail but I'll never pretend I can moderate the amount of alcohol I consume.
Never really tried to seriously moderate but I KNOW it wouldn't work for me.
I'll either succeed or I'll fail but I'll never pretend I can moderate the amount of alcohol I consume.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SoCal, California
Posts: 990
For me it doesn't matter if I call myself an alcoholic or a problem drinker or a semi-alcoholic.
Even my moderation approach to drinking is a real pain in the keister and just gets out of control over time. Almost every time I drink I don't want to stop. Plus, it just makes me want to drink again - soon. That's bad for me in so many ways.
Does that make a a problem drinker or an alcoholic? I'm past caring.
I want to stop drinking and I'll try a bunch of different ways to do it.
That's how it works for me.
So the best thing for me is to not drink.
Even my moderation approach to drinking is a real pain in the keister and just gets out of control over time. Almost every time I drink I don't want to stop. Plus, it just makes me want to drink again - soon. That's bad for me in so many ways.
Does that make a a problem drinker or an alcoholic? I'm past caring.
I want to stop drinking and I'll try a bunch of different ways to do it.
That's how it works for me.
So the best thing for me is to not drink.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 480
How can you tell if you're an alcoholic?
"We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it."
"If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year."
That's from the Big Book of AA - not that you may be looking to that, or any, program of recovery. I think it simplifies the question, though.
So, for me, I don't need a bunch of lengthy questionnaires to answer my question. I need answer only two questions:
1) Can I stop once I've started?
2) Can I, when I honestly want to, stay stopped?
The answer for me to both is typically 'no'. I can sometimes stop after a couple, but it's a crap shoot and when I'm controlling it, I can't enjoy it and when I'm enjoying it, I can't control it.
HTH and welcome to SR!
"We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it."
"If anyone questions whether he has entered this dangerous area, let him try leaving liquor alone for one year."
That's from the Big Book of AA - not that you may be looking to that, or any, program of recovery. I think it simplifies the question, though.
So, for me, I don't need a bunch of lengthy questionnaires to answer my question. I need answer only two questions:
1) Can I stop once I've started?
2) Can I, when I honestly want to, stay stopped?
The answer for me to both is typically 'no'. I can sometimes stop after a couple, but it's a crap shoot and when I'm controlling it, I can't enjoy it and when I'm enjoying it, I can't control it.
HTH and welcome to SR!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: nope, nope, nope
Posts: 63
Yeah, I think I'm in the "who the hell cares what you call it" camp. Years ago, the first (few) times I tried getting sober and was on SR with a different user name, I was so obsessive with how to tell if you were a problem drinker, a "real" alcoholic, etc. And was all about those program debate threads too Yeah I'm tired of all that nonsense.
There is only one way to find out if drinking again will ever be safe for you, and that's to go pick up a glass. It's a high stakes gamble for most of us here.
Yeah I'm tired of all that nonsense. There is only one way to find out if drinking again will ever be safe for you, and that's to go pick up a glass. It's a high stakes gamble for most of us here.
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