Moms club 2013
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
I haven't contributed much to this thread, but I read everything that is posted, and send silent good wishes to veteran and new posters.
I am struggling, and find strength in knowing there are other moms out there like me.
I have realized that there is no "one and done" scenario. I can't have just one glass of wine. It sets off something in my head and body that needs more alcohol. Even if it means I am I not able to read stories to my children without skipping pages because I am so tired and anticipating the 3 am panic attack.
ElegantlyWasted nailed it. (See her posts.) Ultimately there is nothing good about being drunk.
Fries your brain cells, sets your nerves on fire, and there is a slow, ugly burn in the morning. And while you might need water to put it out, you reach for something different.
Damn. Never wanted to go back there.
I am struggling, and find strength in knowing there are other moms out there like me.
I have realized that there is no "one and done" scenario. I can't have just one glass of wine. It sets off something in my head and body that needs more alcohol. Even if it means I am I not able to read stories to my children without skipping pages because I am so tired and anticipating the 3 am panic attack.
ElegantlyWasted nailed it. (See her posts.) Ultimately there is nothing good about being drunk.
Fries your brain cells, sets your nerves on fire, and there is a slow, ugly burn in the morning. And while you might need water to put it out, you reach for something different.
Damn. Never wanted to go back there.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Michigan, USA
Posts: 392
Welcome to all the newcomers to this thread!
Blackbird, I love the Beatles. My favourite band of all time... happy to see your sig.
Failing here, still drinking consistently for the past 4 days. The withdrawals are so hellish, I don't think I'm going to even try until I see the dr on thursday.
Blackbird, I love the Beatles. My favourite band of all time... happy to see your sig.
Failing here, still drinking consistently for the past 4 days. The withdrawals are so hellish, I don't think I'm going to even try until I see the dr on thursday.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 79
I'm sorry you are having a hard time anewpage, I had been drinking off and on since I joined this site in April. This seems to be the first time I am actually taking it serious.
Well I just returned from an AA meeting. It was a big book study, then discussion after. I met some really great people, some that have been at AA meetings with me before. I always walk out of there feeling so good, with a clear head. However I am now craving pretty bad. Today is day 4 for me and I usually give in on day 4. If I can get to day 5 I will be very proud of myself. I'm pretty broke right now lol We get paid Thursday so more than likely, I'm staying sober till then, and then hopefully till the following Thursday...and many after that. Taking it 24 hours at a time. I haven't been sober in a week for about a year now. I hope my craving passes, I can do this right? I hate day 4!!
Well I just returned from an AA meeting. It was a big book study, then discussion after. I met some really great people, some that have been at AA meetings with me before. I always walk out of there feeling so good, with a clear head. However I am now craving pretty bad. Today is day 4 for me and I usually give in on day 4. If I can get to day 5 I will be very proud of myself. I'm pretty broke right now lol We get paid Thursday so more than likely, I'm staying sober till then, and then hopefully till the following Thursday...and many after that. Taking it 24 hours at a time. I haven't been sober in a week for about a year now. I hope my craving passes, I can do this right? I hate day 4!!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 1,219
Well I finally had one of those bad dreams about drinking. I dreamt I succumbed to the bottle of brandy. Was just like it used to be...I had the brandy in a glass and kept moving it from one hiding place to another. This time my husband wasn't "looking the other way" like he used to, but looking at me with this awful hurt and disappointment in his eyes:-(
II tell you....I was sooooo happy to wake up and know it was just a dream!!!!!!
II tell you....I was sooooo happy to wake up and know it was just a dream!!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
I've had some of those dreams they can really mess with your head! But always remind me that even though sometimes I fantasize that drinking again would be great... It really won't.
It's Luke that Brady was reaching out to you in a dream, like an a-hole x boyfriend! But you are on the winning end.
You made it through your visit while having your drink of choice in the house! Be very proud!
It's Luke that Brady was reaching out to you in a dream, like an a-hole x boyfriend! But you are on the winning end.
You made it through your visit while having your drink of choice in the house! Be very proud!
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 212
I love them too anewpage. Music is a big help to me. I made a sober playlist and listen to it everyday.
I found a lot of songs from a thread on this site. If you serch sober playlist you will find it.
Maybe you are not fed up yet anewpage? I look at alcohol as poison. Because it is a poison to me. Addiction is so hard and the fear of quitting or getting help is way worse than actually doing it. This addiction only gets worse. Keep posting, just being here shows you have a desire not to drink, and that is a good step. Take care
I found a lot of songs from a thread on this site. If you serch sober playlist you will find it.
Maybe you are not fed up yet anewpage? I look at alcohol as poison. Because it is a poison to me. Addiction is so hard and the fear of quitting or getting help is way worse than actually doing it. This addiction only gets worse. Keep posting, just being here shows you have a desire not to drink, and that is a good step. Take care
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 66
I have two children, an older teenager and a middle school-aged child. I have been sober for three months. The Daily Reflections yesterday talked some about guilt and I suspect that we moms have more than our share of that most days for the lost days, weeks, months, years that we weren't totally present or present at all sometimes.
All I can do is be present today.
All I can do is be present today.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Good Morning Moms!
I'd like to join the group! I've been around SR for a while and was able to run 6 mos sober. But, I've been drinking for about the last year. Time to get back on track.
I've read through some of the thread - am going to finish after this post - you're all so supportive! And, of course, you'll understand the guilt and remorse. Ugh! Day 1 is tough in the guilt department. At least I know tomorrow will be much, much better.
Hope everyone has a wonderful day!
I'd like to join the group! I've been around SR for a while and was able to run 6 mos sober. But, I've been drinking for about the last year. Time to get back on track.
I've read through some of the thread - am going to finish after this post - you're all so supportive! And, of course, you'll understand the guilt and remorse. Ugh! Day 1 is tough in the guilt department. At least I know tomorrow will be much, much better.
Hope everyone has a wonderful day!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 617
Thanks for the warm welcome! I needed that
My kids are 11 and 13. I so want them to respect me and be able to depend on me. I rarely drink in front of them but they're old enough now that they must wonder.
I used to drink mostly at night to make the evenings more 'fun'. Yeah right - not hardly. I was getting worse and worse ... not remembering going to bed etc. etc.
I have SO MUCH mom guilt right now. I sure hope that as I rack up the sober days the kids bad memories of me will fade. I don't really know what they know and I don't want to ask them about it or bring it up.
It is going to be rough couple of weeks though. My husband still drinks a lot and booze is in the house (that isn't going to change). I just have to accept it and deal with it. I've done it before - just need to do it for good this time.
My kids are 11 and 13. I so want them to respect me and be able to depend on me. I rarely drink in front of them but they're old enough now that they must wonder.
I used to drink mostly at night to make the evenings more 'fun'. Yeah right - not hardly. I was getting worse and worse ... not remembering going to bed etc. etc.
I have SO MUCH mom guilt right now. I sure hope that as I rack up the sober days the kids bad memories of me will fade. I don't really know what they know and I don't want to ask them about it or bring it up.
It is going to be rough couple of weeks though. My husband still drinks a lot and booze is in the house (that isn't going to change). I just have to accept it and deal with it. I've done it before - just need to do it for good this time.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 458
Sadsoul and welcome.Hope to see you Javamama starting out on your day 5.
Congrats on day 50 Imperfectly great news
Talking of dream, the first dream I've had in a while was last night about lots of red type scorpion/lobsters trying to nip their claws at me but some how I manged to keep moving away just in the nick of time. It was really creep and woke me.
1st day back at work and it's going ok, nice to have something to keep my mind busy.
Hope your all doing ok
xx
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 458
Me again, it helps so much when I have a free few mins to myself to log on here instead of let my head spin with all sorts of crazy thoughts.
The children have just left to sleep at my MIL as it's school holidays and I have work tomorrow. It is so tempting to have a few drinks, as soon as they left I wanted to go to the shop.
To distract myself from a boozed fueled evening on the sofa I have found a local slimming world group which starts at 7.30. Thank goodness may as well make this a fresh start all round.
xx
The children have just left to sleep at my MIL as it's school holidays and I have work tomorrow. It is so tempting to have a few drinks, as soon as they left I wanted to go to the shop.
To distract myself from a boozed fueled evening on the sofa I have found a local slimming world group which starts at 7.30. Thank goodness may as well make this a fresh start all round.
xx
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