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This is hard to do

Old 05-09-2013, 06:56 PM
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Unhappy This is hard to do

After my husband telling me for years that I have a problem with alcohol its time to admit it and get myself sorted. I'm a 34 year old mum of a gorgeous nearly 5 year old boy. I think I'm what you call a functioning alcoholic. Always go to work, get up when my son wakes etc. My problem is 4pm comes and out comes the wine. I drink almost every night, and its between 2-3 bottles a night. I've gained weight, my self esteem is crap and so is my libido. So, I've made an appt with my Dr today (in 2 hours!) to start getting myself sorted. I'm scared that I've done irreversable damage and that somehow my drinking is affecting my fertility. We would like to have another child (I must note here that the minute I got pregnant I stopped, and didn't have any alcohol at all during my pregnancy). I breastfed and hardly drank then. Anyway, just even typing this is hard for me so I might go and have a read to see if theres anyone else around just like me.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:14 PM
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Welcome. Congratulations on your decision to kick the habit. It isn't easy, but the good news is that there's a ton of help available, this website included, and literally millions of people have overcome this addiction. You can, too.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:17 PM
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I think if you stop the drinking you will see how mhch better you will feel about yourself. Your self esteem will be so much better. You will attractive again. Im male so I cant help you on baby part. But I do know once you stop drinking your life will improve dramatically. Just try it.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:18 PM
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Welcome mrsc! Oh, there are definitely others just like you. You are not alone anymore.

Be glad that you're taking a look at what alcohol is doing to your life. You're much younger than I was when I began to get serious about quitting. I caused so much pain and misery for myself and others - just because I tried to control what I drank rather than quitting all together. You can do this.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:22 PM
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Hi Mrsc07 and welcome. You are NOT alone. I am a mommy of a beautiful 3 year old girl and over the last 2 years have been drinking more and more. Was up to 2 bottles easily a night and usually started around 4 pm. We have been trying for another child too and am hoping it will happen now that I have stopped drinking. Did you stop drinking this month? If so you should think about joining the May class thread? Hope to see you back and best of luck. Just wanted you know there are a lot of us moms here.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:25 PM
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Hi Ladybug, I last drank last night so day 1 for me. Am looking forward to Dr visit this afternoon. It will be the first time I've admitted to anyone except my husband that there is a problem. Thanks for your message. Its nice in a sad way that there are others like me.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:25 PM
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I'm glad you found us and that you are going to talk to your dr. I had low self-esteem when I started drinking, but it just plummeted when I began drinking. I was so disgusted with myself, it felt hopeless. But, you can stop drinking and begin to feel better about yourself.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:37 PM
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Originally Posted by mrsc07 View Post
After my husband telling me for years that I have a problem with alcohol its time to admit it and get myself sorted. I'm a 34 year old mum of a gorgeous nearly 5 year old boy. I think I'm what you call a functioning alcoholic.

I think it's awesome that you are recognizing it and you are admitting it. I remember my little boy when he was 5 years old. Best memories I have, no damage yet. But I continued drinking and maybe I thought I was functional to the world , but inside I was not functioning very well at all. I lived in fear, guilt and remorse everyday of my life. Constantly trying to absolve my guilt by doing stuff for him for the hubby .

I was emotionally unavailable for my son.
He became less of a priority and drinking became my priority.

I can't get those years back. It is probably the only thing in my life that I truly breakdown over. I am a very happy person today sober but when I read posts about Mom's being alcoholic and having children. I am brought to tears, cuz I refused to admit I needed help. I was sick. I was stuck.

It's not to late for you though. You can do this. You can change this around and really create some wonderful memories with your child. I hope you decide you are done. God Bless you!
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:49 PM
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Are you trying to get pregnant while you're drinking? Perhaps you think that being pregnant is the shove you need to sober up again? Well, you've done that before so you know the results. Don't do the same thing over again and expect things to turn out differently. IMHO, it would be really nice if you got into a program of recovery and had some sober time before you start trying again. Perhaps you could get involved in a 12 step group like AA to assist in your recovery. You don't have to do it alone.
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Old 05-09-2013, 07:59 PM
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Originally Posted by DisplacedGRITS View Post
Are you trying to get pregnant while you're drinking? Perhaps you think that being pregnant is the shove you need to sober up again? Well, you've done that before so you know the results. Don't do the same thing over again and expect things to turn out differently. IMHO, it would be really nice if you got into a program of recovery and had some sober time before you start trying again. Perhaps you could get involved in a 12 step group like AA to assist in your recovery. You don't have to do it alone.
I think you might be right - getting pregnant to stop drinking. And yeah that hasn't turned out well has it. Thanks for your advice.
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Old 05-09-2013, 08:12 PM
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Mrs C

be very honest with your doctor. You can do this, 2 to. 3 bottles of wine a night is a lot.

At that rate you have to do this.

checkout the fitness and nutrition thread especially the thread on hypoglycemia. This was an eye opener for me, wish I had read it when I first got sober.

Also check out PAWS, post alcohol withdrawal Something .

I am coming up 2 years at the end of the month and I have never felt this good consistently in my whole life. Even my bad days are well not so bad.

You are starting the most important journey of your life.

Best wishes
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Old 05-09-2013, 08:21 PM
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Hi Mrs C,
I hope you get a good report when you c the doc...you're self esteem is definitely not @ the bottom of a glass I can say that for sure coz even tho I'm a guy, I fell for that lie a lot of yrs & ended up disappointed again & again. The life in sobriety is unimaginable;just give the program of recovery a chance & I'm sure you're family will breathe a sigh of relief that mum is back!
Best wishes
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Old 05-09-2013, 08:26 PM
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Welcome mrsc - I think you'll find a lot of people like you here, and a lot of stories like yours

D
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:23 PM
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You are definitely not alone. There are many parents on here with similar stories, myself included. For me the guilt over drinking instead of being present with my daughter was the worst part and made me feel like a horrible person. I am 50 days sober tomorrow, and the best part has been the confidence I have in myself now as a mother. You can do this, it is so worth it!
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:23 PM
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So I've been to the Dr, he was great. Told me I was very brave and it must have taken alot of courage to see him, which it did. He will be seeing me weekly at the moment just for extra support and has referred me to local community alcohol and drug support. I feel like a weight has been lifted. Now the hard yards begin.
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Old 05-12-2013, 09:53 PM
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omg trying to distract myself from the craving. Havne't had any since Thursday night last week. Its Monday afternoon now. I should be feeling upbeat, been to community alcohol counselling today but I just can't stop thinking its nearly wine o'clock.
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:13 PM
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Originally Posted by mrsc07 View Post
omg trying to distract myself from the craving. Havne't had any since Thursday night last week. Its Monday afternoon now. I should be feeling upbeat, been to community alcohol counselling today but I just can't stop thinking its nearly wine o'clock.
Hello neighbour, I'm only at day 5 so I'm new to this too, definitely not an expert but almost in the same time zone :-)....

Do something to distract yourself from the urge to have a drink, go for a walk (I know, it's probably freezing over there), see a movie, whatever.

It helps me to get a vision of myself free of alcohol, a future point where life is great and I am living completely sober - this is a visual image for me but that suits my brain type. A couple of minutes with my eyes closed focusing on this vision makes a huge difference for me.
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:34 PM
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http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:40 PM
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Thanks Switch, I'm trying to focus on housework and keeping my almost 5 year old entertained :-) and about to start cooking at is what a ridiculously early hour for me, usually I give my son something to eat and then cook for my husband and I when son is asleep. But tonight I'll have something ready for when husband gets home so we can eat together.
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Old 05-12-2013, 10:48 PM
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There are thousands of us like you! I thought I was "functioning", too, but once you stop you realize your old idea of what functional was was pretty minimal! You'll do everything better once you're sober. To a married person booze is like having an affair. It steals time and attention that should go be going to your spouse and child. Try this- go a week without drinking, then hang out with a couple of friends that are slobbering drunk. You won't believe what an arse they make of themselves or how annoying they are! Then remember that you're just like that to your husband.

The human body has a remarkable ability to heal itself once you stop poisoning yourself. While you could possibly have done serious damage to your health, continuing to drink wouldn't only make it worse.

The idea of stopping can be terrifying. I know, it scared me. Rest assured though that there's so much good life on the other side, trust me on that!

Welcome to SR!
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