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How do you manage uncomfortability?

Old 05-07-2013, 06:05 PM
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How do you manage uncomfortability?

You know, when you feel like ick about stuff. Stuff you would have drank over. Stuff in your life that bothers you- what tools do you now use to deal with what life hands you?

I am trying to figure out what I do and I guess what I do is come to this site, go to a meeting, call someone.... tell someone what is going on in my head- whereas before I bottled everything up.

I am curious what everyone else does and if you know what I am talking about?
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:13 PM
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That's a big one for me. I had to learn--and believe--that no one died from being uncomfortable. I'd get through it. And I learned I could.
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:16 PM
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I turn all that ick stuff over to my higher power.
I used to say the serenity prayer often, I don't need to so much anymore.
Daily meditation definitely helps.
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:29 PM
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Dealing w this a lot lately... I go to a meeting, call my sponser, cry, yell in my car, talk about it here, run, pray, call another alcoholic. Sometimes I do all of these sometimes a few. I don't always feel better right away but what we are doing is def better then bottling it up.
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:52 PM
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Ditto doggonecarl...exactly my thoughts. We learn that discomfort is something we don't have to run from. These days I just let myself " feel" the bad along with the good.....that, and a really intense yoga class does it for me
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:00 PM
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This is a great thread, I wonder the same thing. A lot of the time, I just power through the depressed, sour moments, in hopes that they get better the longer I stay sober. Sometimes I may eat something, to fill my stomach and reward myself for not drinking. I've already gained a few pounds since I quit, but I figure that's better than drinking every day.

But I know that feeling, Elizabeth, I know it well. I'm on night 9, and I actually feel that way right now. Posting here helps.
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:17 PM
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I realise it's a big thing to begin with...but I had to learn that being uncomfortable is inevitable if we live our lives...

but it never lasts...and as Carl says, it never killed anyone

D
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:53 PM
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I always had a belief in a power greater than myself. Never liked the "god" definition I got in catholic grammer school, and had (still have) a rough time believing in a singular all powerful human like image of god who's sitting out there somewhere calling all the shots. I was told early in recovery however that I was going to have to replace the comfort and courage I thought I got from a bottle with something else, and my best bet would be if I could do that with god. And it didn't have to be a god I felt I understood. A "higher power" was good enough, and using the term "god" just made it easier. For me. So I started to pray to god. And it worked. The third step was my first step, and turning it all over to the god of my understanding (or misunderstanding) I know paved the way for the rest of the steps, and the rest of my life.

Yesterday I had to put the first pet I ever was the total caretaker of, to sleep. This cat was my absolute angel. She would hug me and lick my neck when I picked her up, every night she'd climb on my chest and I'd talk with her before going to bed, and then she'd sleep next to me... for 16 years. I never in my life felt a connection with an animal like I did with her, and sparing the details my wife and I had to take her yesterday to her put down before she started to really suffer. I can't even begin to describe the fear and reluctance I felt to be a part of that. I was in fact certain I couldn't be there and watch the life leave her body, and wanted badly to just drop her off to not have to witness it, but I knew I couldn't live with myself if I did. More importantly, I felt she needed me there. I prayed. A lot. Before, during, and after. I held, pet, and gave her love as the life left her. Kissed her head while crying hysterically, and massaged her eyelids closed at the end of it all. I didn't do any of that on my own power, I promise you that.

A friend of mine at work thinks I should "man up" cuz it's ripping me up right now. That same friend has to have at least 4 beers a night, every night, before going to bed, and gets trashed on the weekends. When he put his dog down he was able to numb his feelings with that. I'm grateful that I'm feeling mine for countless reasons, and I am certain it's a power greater than me that I've opened myself up to that's helping me do it. I could go on and on about how this experience is affecting me... it's really really rough, but I'm already seeing the gifts it's bringing. I'll heal. And I'll grow. I have no regrets. I feel good about the fact that I was able to do what I was certain was the right thing to do.

Anyhow... I got a bit OT over here, but right now this is all that's on my mind. Point is, if this is the kind of stuff you're referring to, well... I manage my uncomfortablity thorough prayer, and a belief that there's something out there that's much more powerful, and loving, than me. I don't believe I'd be sober without that. And praying has worked every single time. The fear and/or uncomfortablity didn't always leave, in fact it often stayed... but I always got to the other side of it. And got there sober.
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Old 05-07-2013, 07:59 PM
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My new coping skills include taking a walk or going to the gym, a healthy snack or meal if I'm hungry (hey, we need energy to solve life's problems and deal with stress!), calling my sponsor or a sober friend, writing exercises, step work, service work and volunteering, naps (when I can I just take a break and go to sleep! Lol) and painting or doing some other hobby like playing in my garden. I read a lot too. There's some websites that offer support and forums like this are awesome! It's working so far!
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:10 PM
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Beautiful post joe, it brought me to tears. My cat is 10 & has been such a comfort to me since I found him. I will hug him extra tightly tonight. Prayers for you & your wife & your cat who I believe is in kitty heaven. I too found my higher power when I got sober. I still work on turning things over, when left to my self will I never feel at peace.
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Joe Nerv View Post
I always had a belief in a power greater than myself. Never liked the "god" definition I got in catholic grammer school, and had (still have) a rough time believing in a singular all powerful human like image of god who's sitting out there somewhere calling all the shots. I was told early in recovery however that I was going to have to replace the comfort and courage I thought I got from a bottle with something else, and my best bet would be if I could do that with god. And it didn't have to be a god I felt I understood. A "higher power" was good enough, and using the term "god" just made it easier. For me. So I started to pray to god. And it worked. The third step was my first step, and turning it all over to the god of my understanding (or misunderstanding) I know paved the way for the rest of the steps, and the rest of my life.

Yesterday I had to put the first pet I ever was the total caretaker of, to sleep. This cat was my absolute angel. She would hug me and lick my neck when I picked her up, every night she'd climb on my chest and I'd talk with her before going to bed, and then she'd sleep next to me... for 16 years. I never in my life felt a connection with an animal like I did with her, and sparing the details my wife and I had to take her yesterday to her put down before she started to really suffer. I can't even begin to describe the fear and reluctance I felt to be a part of that. I was in fact certain I couldn't be there and watch the life leave her body, and wanted badly to just drop her off to not have to witness it, but I knew I couldn't live with myself if I did. More importantly, I felt she needed me there. I prayed. A lot. Before, during, and after. I held, pet, and gave her love as the life left her. Kissed her head while crying hysterically, and massaged her eyelids closed at the end of it all. I didn't do any of that on my own power, I promise you that.

A friend of mine at work thinks I should "man up" cuz it's ripping me up right now. That same friend has to have at least 4 beers a night, every night, before going to bed, and gets trashed on the weekends. When he put his dog down he was able to numb his feelings with that. I'm grateful that I'm feeling mine for countless reasons, and I am certain it's a power greater than me that I've opened myself up to that's helping me do it. I could go on and on about how this experience is affecting me... it's really really rough, but I'm already seeing the gifts it's bringing. I'll heal. And I'll grow. I have no regrets. I feel good about the fact that I was able to do what I was certain was the right thing to do.

Anyhow... I got a bit OT over here, but right now this is all that's on my mind. Point is, if this is the kind of stuff you're referring to, well... I manage my uncomfortablity thorough prayer, and a belief that there's something out there that's much more powerful, and loving, than me. I don't believe I'd be sober without that. And praying has worked every single time. The fear and/or uncomfortablity didn't always leave, in fact it often stayed... but I always got to the other side of it. And got there sober.
Joe---what an amazing post, it made me cry. Forget "man up," you "angel-ed up" there, my friend. And I agree with you about the benefit of turning it over to something out there that is much more powerful and loving, no matter what you call it. I did it as a kind of a test the first time not thinking it would work and, lo and behold, it did. So I am going with it.

Deepest sympathies on the loss of your cat friend. I am sure as lucky as you were to have her, it very much worked the other way too. Beautiful post again; thank you.
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:26 PM
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So, i have had some major ICK stuff happening in the last few months. My go to has been, school work- Once i am engaged in my studies, I dont have the space to try to solve my problems. I figure they can take care of themselves for awhile. I know they will be waiting for me when I choose to come back to them.
Candy- I eat skittles. I eat Starburst. Mike and Ikes.
Talking-I talk about my problems. I vent on here.
Projects-I have taken to going to the thrift stores, and finding odd things, bringing those odd things home, and painting them. Drilling holes in them. Putting plants in the odd thing
My pets- I play with them. I pet them, and talk to them.
The birds- I listen to them when I am troubled.
I try my best to get out of my way.
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Old 05-07-2013, 08:44 PM
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In addition to my signature line, I like to remember the statement, "Ride out and meet them!". It is from the Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers. When under attack and in a seemingly hopeless situation, one king laments, "So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?". The future king replies, "Ride out and meet them!".
The implication is that you never give up even against extraordinary odds. You must do what is right even when there seems to be no hope. (By the way, there is always hope.)
For some reason, remembering this helps me if I am feeling uncomfortable in a social situation or when i have to do something that used to be a trigger for me. Surely I can "ride out and meet them".
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Old 05-08-2013, 12:40 AM
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Pray & Listen.

Seriously many answers & comfort are in those pages.
Even if I want something short to calm down I turn to Psalms
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Old 05-08-2013, 01:45 AM
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Wonderful question and thread! I'm still working on this one. So far I come here to SR whenever I can. Talk or e-mail with friends. Write in my journal. Watch a funny or interesting show or dvd. Go for a walk. And I'm learning that if I just let go and stop fighting it and actually feel my feelings I tend to get through them and come out better and stronger.
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Old 05-08-2013, 03:13 AM
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Excellent thread. I have several different ways. I normally just sit with them. Analyse it in my head and see if I can do anything about it. If I can't I hand it over. Sometimes I just have a good old shout. Don't underestimate the power of just screaming at the top of your lungs to relieve stress. Sometimes I just get on the floor and start doing press ups whilst repeating the serenity prayer. It seems to work for me.

Natom.
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Old 05-08-2013, 04:14 AM
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Thanks for the support and kind words.

Just want to note that I got a PM last night that I responded to, but my box was filled to 100%. In the event that anyone else PMed me, if I didn't respond, I didn't get it.
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