liss74

I can imagine how happy u r I'm one month Tomoz yay good on u

SoberD

2 months is awesome G. That would be a record for me so I was wondering about how you feel different, both mentally and physically. One of the demoralizing factors for me is that I get to a few weeks, don't feel different, and say "what the hell, this isn't doing anything for me." I'm assuming that I just need more time...but what actually happens?

Branches

you go, girl!
congratulations![/color][/color]

fini

how very cool, gforce!

doggonecarl

Congratulations on this milestone.

Newcomers! Read and believe.

Gforce23

Hey there YouAreMySunshine--meh, who cares about two days apart. We can still be Sober Birthday buddies. I'm counting mine from the morning after I last drank--or another way of putting it would be the first day I decided to stop drinking.

Yeah, I am going to go get my chip tonight too--it's funny, because last month when the chair person asked, "Is there anyone here with one continuous month of sobriety?" I raised my hand like a grade school-er and waved it around going "Oh, me, ME!" So, hey, I know it's like a kid getting a gold star on a chart. But hey, that's why they do it, because it feels good, and everyone pays attention to you. 35 years later, and that still feels good!

Cheers everyone

Grymt

Thanks for explaining the chip bit. I've been trying to figure that out since starting reading the forums. I've never been to a meeting in australia where chips are part of things. Don't know why exactly. It's like valentine and halloween. Don't get that either. Maybe australians are just more laconic. Great to hear you're doing well.

soberlicious

Congrats G! Yes, it is absolutely is about pushing through that "wall"....it truly does get better and better, or it has for me anyway

Gforce23

Hi!

You know, this a toughy and I'm not sure really qualified to answer it, but I'll speak from my own short experience:

Listen the first few weeks or so, I experienced a lot of fear and anxiety about what I was doing. That is subsiding some, though I still feel some pangs when I think about going into social situations where people are drinking.

Physically, I feel a lot better, because I don't wake up hung-over on a semi-regular basis, and even during times when I only did have a couple--for instance, during the weeks when I usually drank a few beers with my husband--I don't feel sluggish in the morning. I have more energy, I don't feel bloated and tired and mildly depressed.

Mentally now that things have calmed down some, I'm still dealing with problems in my life that did not magically clear up when I stopped drinking. At least I have more self-esteem, not having to feel like there I go again being the "drunk mother" or the "hungover mom" or whatever. Not that I was drunk around my kid, but just that I felt bad about myself for being a mother who drank the way did, and wondered what other people thought about it.

But here's the rub: Being sober is NOT going to solve all life problems or fix whatever things are going on with you psychologically. In fact, being sober exposes those things even more at first. However, if you are sober, will be in far better state to finally take care of those things and deal with them with a clearer head. I processed a lot of emotions in the first few weeks. However, if your expecting that life turns into sunshine and rainbows once you stop drinking, I think you might want to alter your expectations some.

Why do you want to quit drinking? Maybe really ask yourself that question. For me, the consequences, and the way I felt about myself around it, just outweighed whatever pleasure or fun I thought had with it. So, for me it just came to a head.

I'm better without it. I'm a better mother, and sure, I miss having a beer. I won't lie. But, the sacrifice is worth my self-esteem and waking up everyday feeling good.

I wish I had more answers for you, but there a lot of here with far sobriety that might be able to help you see what's on the other side better than I can.

That's my two cents! There must be a reason your here thinking about stopping.

Cheers, and hang in there!

sugarbear1

I'm so happy for you!!

SoberD

Thank you - that is very helpful. I can identify with many of the benefits you mentioned (and it's only day 10 for me). Also, I think a key point that you make is that not drinking will not "solve" all of my problems, it will just avoid creating a plethora of new ones. With that said, I think my focus will be on both not drinking AND learning to deal with life's typical challenges sober. I already feel better physically but oddly, I was always the type of alcoholic that went to the gym many times per week and am very conscious about my physical appearance - actually, people might be shocked about what I have done to my body over the last decade because I appear quite fit. However, my mind is all over the place and this time around, I am looking for long-term peace - with time and work, I think this will be possible...

Gforce23

Hey again--

You know, one of the things I've had to get over, is the notion that an alcoholic is someone who drinks everyday, hides vodka in the toilet reservoir,
wakes up and takes a drink, etc. I don't do any of things. I am mostly a social drinker and I can go for days, even weeks without drinking. And, like you, I am very fit! I have been a mountain biker for 17 years, I used to be into weightlifting, rock climbing, you name it. In fact, when I stop typing here, I'm getting on my MTB and going for a ride.

However, though I've a very serious athlete all my life, I am a serial binge drinker, who often drinks unintentionally until I black out. I suffer from heinous hangovers, and I don't know how to socialize without a multitude of drinks being drained.

When I was younger, for sure I drank to get drunk, or "wasted." Now, I go out not intending to do that, as I am supposed to be a respectable wife and mother (I know, yeah right!) but it happens anyway.

And if you are into fitness--you will not believe how much stronger, and faster you'll be. My anaerobic capacity has really increased since quitting. And, I'm not taking time off the bike because I'm hungover! Now I can think about racing.

Also--I very unintentionally dropped about 7 or eight pounds since I quit. I'm not sure I needed to, but there it is. So hey, I don't have an extra 7 pounds dragging me down now either--all those beer calories!

Anyway, hope that helps!

Oh, yeah-- key difference for me here in this regard: before when I would just say to myself, "I'm just taking a break from drinking." It seemed no big deal, because there was an undefined end date, where I could drink again. So, not drinking for few weeks was kind of not a big deal. As soon as I decided that it was NOT a break, and I was doing this for real, for as long as...whenever, it became a really big deal.

Just thought throw that out there.

Cheers

SoberD

Appearances certainly can be deceiving. It sounds like we have similar interests - I live in the rocky mountain region and enjoy those same activities (mountain biking, hiking, skiing, climbing, etc.). I'm certain that I would be much better at them if they weren't mixed in between hangovers! Thanks again

Gforce23

SoberD,

One last thing--you sound like you might be a "high-stim" seeker like myself---always needing novelty and adrenaline--and I've found that people like us often use alcohol to let off steam and all that nervous tension that builds up. I don't if you can relate, but I've seen this pattern in other people of a similar nature.

Cheers, and now I really am getting on my bike (it's raining, so I'm procrastinating. I wish I lived in R.M front range, as I did many years ago. So...dry!)

Cheers.

isinganyway

*fist bumps in solidarity*

you rock!!

SoberD

Yep, this is exactly me - sometimes I feel so pumped (for lack of a better word) and excited (for no particular reason) that drinking gives me that incredible feeling of "ahhhh." I guess I would describe it as this uncontrollable energy that builds up in me that isn't necessarily bad - it just feels like I am going to burst through my skin if I don't calm down. Exercise usually does it for me so I am going to really focus on that. In fact, over the years, I think that being physically active is the one thing that has kept me from destroying my body and life completely with alcohol. Enjoy your ride!

soberlicious

Lots of people do it this way and it works great. For me, it was the opposite. My mind is like that little kid that keeps repetitively asking Now?...now?now?now?how bout now? When I quit for good, I found freedom. No more question. Done.
I realize that doesn't work for everyone though.

ClearLight

.

I've got to do both! I keep watching this clip from Untouchables for the overarching commitment theme. (I love posting clips!) Sean Connery - "You have to go ALL THE WAY..."



AND I have to go moment to moment like you soberlicious.

I guess I've got it bad. (tempted to post Stevie Wonder but practicing restraint)

Gforce23

Yeah, I can see how that would feel really liberating. However, forever was really to much for me to think about in the beginning. I had to just do it one day at a time or the fear and anxiety were enough to send me back to the beer store. So, for me, I might be work up to feeling like it could be that way. I'm already starting to get used to not drinking.

I ABSOLUTELY relate. That is what I was referring to. I don't drink because I'm depressed, well, probably sometimes I have, I drink to let loose and do something all this internal energy I have. And, yeah, there were a few years where I wasn't riding so much or doing much else athletically, and I drank WAY more.

However, just getting back into shape in the last year and getting focused on my MTB, hasn't been enough to suddenly make me a consistently moderate drinker, so I had to choose.

Cheers everybody!

Gforce23

Oh, please post Stevie Wonder! Why restrain yourself from the almighty STEVIE!

As I said, I'm not just one genre kind of gal. I love's me some Soul and R&B! (Usually older stuff though...not so into the newer pop R&B... )