Big can of worms
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 182
also, i hear what you are saying Lexie and appreciate your help, but from what i get is that you venture in to territory that you don't understand with a closed mind thinking you know better.
i don't want to insult, but you need to check yourself.
it was gross that i said that, but i need to keep this thread in check too.
i don't want to insult, but you need to check yourself.
it was gross that i said that, but i need to keep this thread in check too.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,511
I'm not sure if you should tell your parents or not. It sounds like they may 'see' it and you won't have to in that case. I did not tell my parents, or anyone actually, because I had a strong sense that this was something that I needed to do quietly, for myself. I don't know what's the best thing for you.
The main thing is that you get sober and begin recovery. You are the person who can make that happen.
The main thing is that you get sober and begin recovery. You are the person who can make that happen.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
OK, if you don't want to hear from me, I will bow out of the thread.
I respectfully disagree that I am venturing into territory I don't understand, with a closed mind. I understand very well where you are at. And I believe you are suffering from tunnel vision, which I also understand.
I hope you decide to get well no matter what appears to stand in your way. I think those obstacles are mostly of your own construction--something else I understand.
Best wishes--and I mean that with all sincerity.
I respectfully disagree that I am venturing into territory I don't understand, with a closed mind. I understand very well where you are at. And I believe you are suffering from tunnel vision, which I also understand.
I hope you decide to get well no matter what appears to stand in your way. I think those obstacles are mostly of your own construction--something else I understand.
Best wishes--and I mean that with all sincerity.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by Anna 
I'm not sure if you should tell your parents or not. It sounds like they may 'see' it and you won't have to in that case. I did not tell my parents, or anyone actually, because I had a strong sense that this was something that I needed to do quietly, for myself. I don't know what's the best thing for you.
The main thing is that you get sober and begin recovery. You are the person who can make that happen.
The main thing is that you get sober and begin recovery. You are the person who can make that happen.
Get in the shower and freshen up. You can manage that eh?
What do you think you should do?
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Yeah man, jump in the shower and put on a nice shirt and jeans. Don't hide it, just say you've been thinking about treatment or whatever, and that you're having problems kicking this thing. It's been a thorn in your side and in your hopes to get better you are going to take some additional steps - lots of people need help with that kind of thing. Your mom should be cool with that.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by ntmu
i need to tell them, it's pouring out of my eyes at this point.
You can insult me now
BUT It's almost like you have subconsciously engineered this coming out whether you wanted to or not.You were drinking from before I woke up Saturday morning to now Sunday 9pm at least. I really really hope you have had some sleep in between.
I care. I do. It's in my nature. I think you have put yourself at the point of no return, because this does need recognising and it needs recognising now.
And dare I say something that this brings back from my own binges? ...
... Mum. I just want you to love me. I need you. I need you now. Please help me.
Snotty sleeves aplenty followed. For years. Until finally it clicked.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
People are trying to help ntmu.
Thats what we do here - share our experience.
If you don't want to hear what some people have to say, use the ignore function.
Arguing and sniping don't help you or anyone else reading.
It's in your best interests to keep this thread going.
**********
I felt like I needed to tell my family too.
I wanted love support and maybe a few apologies for the way I'd been raised...but I feared anger disgust and blame.
In the end, I got nothing - I may as well have been saying pass the sugar please...
but ultimately that was good for me..
it helped me realise I was an adult, I had noone to depend on but myself (and places like SR) and I needed to dig my own way out of the situation I was in.
Taking responsibility for myself was actually the first step in getting better.
Like Anna says the best thing you can do for yourself today is get sober and begin recovery.
You really are the person who can make that happen
D
Thats what we do here - share our experience.
If you don't want to hear what some people have to say, use the ignore function.
Arguing and sniping don't help you or anyone else reading.
It's in your best interests to keep this thread going.
**********
I felt like I needed to tell my family too.
I wanted love support and maybe a few apologies for the way I'd been raised...but I feared anger disgust and blame.
In the end, I got nothing - I may as well have been saying pass the sugar please...
but ultimately that was good for me..
it helped me realise I was an adult, I had noone to depend on but myself (and places like SR) and I needed to dig my own way out of the situation I was in.
Taking responsibility for myself was actually the first step in getting better.
Like Anna says the best thing you can do for yourself today is get sober and begin recovery.
You really are the person who can make that happen
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 182
i like you Lexie and we share the same goal, to be sober, to be in recovery, but real life stuff like the complexities of relationship, family, my only parents, a roof over my head.
sobriety must be my priority for quite a while now.
my higher power tells me this.
let's not battle with that.
the issues with my family go beyond any one here will ever understand.
i am much more than a drunk.
and not worth throwing everything i am away.
i understand the psychology of reaction, but there are some situations that can be overwhelming even to the most enlightened person.
then it gets trickier from there.
when it comes to moral, it sometimes needs to be tailored to that person's whole existence and life, not just a general social attitude.
things look different when you are there.
i'm sure you have many books and i want your knowledge, but yes
i did open a big can of worms here
there is much more going on in our lives
and then universe
than simply drunks getting drunk
i need to do better with self-care and get through this day.
i do not know how this will go
but i know i will not commit any crimes or drive or anything like that
i've never been that kind of a drunk
of course i've been an a** on many occasions, but i had a spiritual conversion years ago
and kept that with me
though i have strayed
assuming i am able to stop tomorrow
there is nothing i can do to hurry up time
i can't go get my 90 day chip
until it has been 90 days
please continue to help & pray for me
thank you,
sobriety must be my priority for quite a while now.
my higher power tells me this.
let's not battle with that.
the issues with my family go beyond any one here will ever understand.
i am much more than a drunk.
and not worth throwing everything i am away.
i understand the psychology of reaction, but there are some situations that can be overwhelming even to the most enlightened person.
then it gets trickier from there.
when it comes to moral, it sometimes needs to be tailored to that person's whole existence and life, not just a general social attitude.
things look different when you are there.
i'm sure you have many books and i want your knowledge, but yes
i did open a big can of worms here
there is much more going on in our lives
and then universe
than simply drunks getting drunk
i need to do better with self-care and get through this day.
i do not know how this will go
but i know i will not commit any crimes or drive or anything like that
i've never been that kind of a drunk
of course i've been an a** on many occasions, but i had a spiritual conversion years ago
and kept that with me
though i have strayed
assuming i am able to stop tomorrow
there is nothing i can do to hurry up time
i can't go get my 90 day chip
until it has been 90 days
please continue to help & pray for me
thank you,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
The earth will still be orbiting the sun at 108,000 km/hr, the tides will ebb and flow, and the cab drivers will still be picking up their fares tonight. Our time on this planet allows us to make our small little corner of the universe as comfortable as possible for us. Why don't you go ahead and take some steps to make your little corner better for you? The world will go on - be a part of it man!
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Chiming in with my .02 here:
I agree with what I see as the central point made by Dee, Lexi....it sounds very much as if you desperately want your Mum to approve of your decision to tell the truth: that you have become a drunk and really want to stop. I seem to recall from one of your first posts on a different thread (?) that this is, in part, linked directly to your being unemployed, and therefore needing a financial lifeline while you get sober.
I do get that, having been on my own completely - with no immediate family, for YEARS while drinking, and while getting (and trying to stay sober - sometimes successfully, sometimes not).
In the end, last January, when I went to rehab, I expected my adult daughters (similar age to you, nmtu) to similarly approve, support me, come back into my life with open arms, and so on. They have not done any of that, in fact they have done the exact opposite: cut me off completely.
The bottom line for you nmtu, you ARE an adult, well and truly. In terms of getting sober, in terms of getting some financial support and a roof over your head, in terms of everything else in your life. Yeah, that sucks, I for one truly understand how MUCH it sucks.
You've done a great thing by simply coming here, many many times for support. That support will still be here for you, whether your Mum or anyone else in your 'real life' provides additional support OR NOT.
I agree with what I see as the central point made by Dee, Lexi....it sounds very much as if you desperately want your Mum to approve of your decision to tell the truth: that you have become a drunk and really want to stop. I seem to recall from one of your first posts on a different thread (?) that this is, in part, linked directly to your being unemployed, and therefore needing a financial lifeline while you get sober.
I do get that, having been on my own completely - with no immediate family, for YEARS while drinking, and while getting (and trying to stay sober - sometimes successfully, sometimes not).
In the end, last January, when I went to rehab, I expected my adult daughters (similar age to you, nmtu) to similarly approve, support me, come back into my life with open arms, and so on. They have not done any of that, in fact they have done the exact opposite: cut me off completely.
The bottom line for you nmtu, you ARE an adult, well and truly. In terms of getting sober, in terms of getting some financial support and a roof over your head, in terms of everything else in your life. Yeah, that sucks, I for one truly understand how MUCH it sucks.
You've done a great thing by simply coming here, many many times for support. That support will still be here for you, whether your Mum or anyone else in your 'real life' provides additional support OR NOT.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 182
oh my, less than an hour. i still smell, my appearance is awful. i don't feel like taking shower or putting on decent clothes right now.
if my parents come in here they will see place with a ton of bottles every where.
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if my parents come in here they will see place with a ton of bottles every where.
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