Big can of worms
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,062
Take a shower ntmu and enjoy your family and Happy Birthday.
Your 90 days will begin as soon as YOU decide it will and it happens one millisecond at a time. I don't think of my 90 days....ever. I think about right this second. That helps me to stay grounded and in the moment.
You have gotten great advise here so far.
Your 90 days will begin as soon as YOU decide it will and it happens one millisecond at a time. I don't think of my 90 days....ever. I think about right this second. That helps me to stay grounded and in the moment.
You have gotten great advise here so far.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Western New York
Posts: 375
A nice hot shower will help clear your head, and I think you'll feel better when they arrive and you are clean with clean clothes. Whether you talk to them about your issues today or not, you can still start your 90 days right now. Their reaction doesn't need to control your next move.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,359
Originally Posted by ntmu 
oh my, less than an hour. i still smell, my appearance is awful. i don't feel like taking shower or putting on decent clothes right now.
if my parents come in here they will see place with a ton of bottles every where.
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if my parents come in here they will see place with a ton of bottles every where.
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Originally Posted by ntmu
okokok
so i have to tell them something
i'm already drunkish
how sad this whole thing is
happy birthday!
what am i going to do...
so i have to tell them something
i'm already drunkish
how sad this whole thing is
happy birthday!
what am i going to do...
What can you do now?
It will be better that the truth is out there and I can't see that you think otherwise now you have let it get to this.
Happy Birthday ntmu. I mean that with all sincerity. May your next birthday find you in a happier place.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 182
i have like the worst clothes on right now too, i may wear a knit hat at dinner, but the have not seen me wear one since i was like 5.
this whole thing is not cool.
i can pretty much say they will bring me some food & grocery items though, so that's why i agreed to this.
also, if i said no, they would freak.
phphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphhhhh
this whole thing is not cool.
i can pretty much say they will bring me some food & grocery items though, so that's why i agreed to this.
also, if i said no, they would freak.
phphphphphphphphphphphphphphphphhhhh
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 182
thanks for reemphasising the shower. i know it sounds easy & basic, but i need encouragement just to do that today. i have not eaten in 2 days, so it will be good to eat too.
i don't remember how this got started, but yes obv my first drink started a lot of trouble.
i don't remember how this got started, but yes obv my first drink started a lot of trouble.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Central Valley
Posts: 131
In a strange way - your situation poses polar opposites from mine in a few ways, but at the same time with potentially very similar outcomes.
I had a family of alcoholics of various forms - the closets, the ragers, the happy drunks, mean drunks, disappearing drunks, arrested drunks, juvenile drunks -you name it.
Funny or not - most of them would completely deny their addiction or anyone else who may call theirs a 'problem'. After all, there was someone around whose drinking is/was much worse than theirs (or mine) to compare to.
With your family, their inexperience with alcohol and alcoholics you think - probably correctly - will lead them to denying your problem.
The same outcome at least in the beginning.
I have no close family and my parents are long dead. Without my husband and grown daughter, I'm not sure what would be next.
I have also been unemployed and gone through the 'starving and homeless' potential of not having a paycheck. While no job stinks, it's not the end of the world. Even though it seems like it at first.
Be honest with them, but I would not add any unwarranted details unless they ask. If they are not used to being around alcoholics, they might be freaked out at first, with all the stereotype drunk images running through their heads. But if they have any heart and sense at all, they will get over it and help you.
In these upcoming days and weeks, you might find yourself not needed their help as much as you thought you did in your 'fogged' mind.
Good luck and congrats on your near month of being sober!
I had a family of alcoholics of various forms - the closets, the ragers, the happy drunks, mean drunks, disappearing drunks, arrested drunks, juvenile drunks -you name it.
Funny or not - most of them would completely deny their addiction or anyone else who may call theirs a 'problem'. After all, there was someone around whose drinking is/was much worse than theirs (or mine) to compare to.
With your family, their inexperience with alcohol and alcoholics you think - probably correctly - will lead them to denying your problem.
The same outcome at least in the beginning.
I have no close family and my parents are long dead. Without my husband and grown daughter, I'm not sure what would be next.
I have also been unemployed and gone through the 'starving and homeless' potential of not having a paycheck. While no job stinks, it's not the end of the world. Even though it seems like it at first.
Be honest with them, but I would not add any unwarranted details unless they ask. If they are not used to being around alcoholics, they might be freaked out at first, with all the stereotype drunk images running through their heads. But if they have any heart and sense at all, they will get over it and help you.
In these upcoming days and weeks, you might find yourself not needed their help as much as you thought you did in your 'fogged' mind.
Good luck and congrats on your near month of being sober!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Melbourne, Victoria Australia
Posts: 1,202
Given you seem to be counting down the minutes till they arrive, and you're in a state every which way (can't get into the shower, can't get clean clothes, there's crap all over the place....):
[Breath and swallow hard on this one] Maybe just let it all be AS IT IS. Let them see you, in the current reality.
Their responses to what and who they see will be...well, whatever their responses will be. You can't change that, you can't somehow cover it over for them.
Just try to sit quietly, as you are, and breathe....then open the door.
'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step'.
Warm wishes to you ntmu
[Breath and swallow hard on this one] Maybe just let it all be AS IT IS. Let them see you, in the current reality.
Their responses to what and who they see will be...well, whatever their responses will be. You can't change that, you can't somehow cover it over for them.
Just try to sit quietly, as you are, and breathe....then open the door.
'A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step'.
Warm wishes to you ntmu
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 182
Originally Posted by noanxtime
I But if they have any heart and sense at all, they will get over it and help you.
Good luck and congrats on your near month of being sober!
Good luck and congrats on your near month of being sober!
also, i am not sober at all.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
You are on my mind right now.
One thing you said stood out: this is not worth being homeless.
I think your health and sobriety is worth any price and know a few folks in a recovery center that consider themselves homeless that would agree.
You think having a roof over your head depends upon someone else? One thing that would make many want to drink themselves into oblivion is the idea of handing so much control over to other people. I love my parents but any time I cede control of my life over to them I wind up a train wreck.
As for your very unique circumstances and family situation, I wouldn't try to compare notes. I've got family members who "know" they are the uniquest.
We all have crazy and seemingly unique complications in our lives.
That fact can keep you down as long as you let it. It might be your excuse to keep drinking but you aren't going to find anyone here buying it.
I'd also lay odds that your family already knows but doesn't know what to do or is waiting for you to say something.
If any of this hits you in a bad way I apologize. My intentions are only good. Glad you are here on SR and hope you will keep posting.
One thing you said stood out: this is not worth being homeless.
I think your health and sobriety is worth any price and know a few folks in a recovery center that consider themselves homeless that would agree.
You think having a roof over your head depends upon someone else? One thing that would make many want to drink themselves into oblivion is the idea of handing so much control over to other people. I love my parents but any time I cede control of my life over to them I wind up a train wreck.
As for your very unique circumstances and family situation, I wouldn't try to compare notes. I've got family members who "know" they are the uniquest.
We all have crazy and seemingly unique complications in our lives.
That fact can keep you down as long as you let it. It might be your excuse to keep drinking but you aren't going to find anyone here buying it.
I'd also lay odds that your family already knows but doesn't know what to do or is waiting for you to say something.
If any of this hits you in a bad way I apologize. My intentions are only good. Glad you are here on SR and hope you will keep posting.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 182
OK
the honest question
how can i ask for support
and say i am working on getting better
when
i look like hell
i smell
have no job
and am drunk
today
?
how is this going to work?
i sincerely plan to be back on here ASAP
i plan to go to meetings of all sorts for recovery every day for at least a year
i promised a very good friend this & i will not let them down
sh*t just got the call, they'll be here in 15
last minute tips,
thanks,
the honest question
how can i ask for support
and say i am working on getting better
when
i look like hell
i smell
have no job
and am drunk
today
?
how is this going to work?
i sincerely plan to be back on here ASAP
i plan to go to meetings of all sorts for recovery every day for at least a year
i promised a very good friend this & i will not let them down
sh*t just got the call, they'll be here in 15
last minute tips,
thanks,
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
You look them in the eye and say "I need help".
Admit to them you have been unable to control it and that you are sincerely ready to get the help you need to stop drinking.
Tell them what you have been going through, what you have tried so far and that you have been scared and ashamed to tell them.
We are behind you.
Admit to them you have been unable to control it and that you are sincerely ready to get the help you need to stop drinking.
Tell them what you have been going through, what you have tried so far and that you have been scared and ashamed to tell them.
We are behind you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 182
out of respect for this thread, i am going to have to have a sincere talk with them, but they do worry & freak out, so it is not worth it to make matters worse for me or them.
be grateful you if you don't understand what i am going through.
be grateful you if you don't understand what i am going through.
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