gratefulkp

[QUOTE=Anyway, I am I have no right to preach but I m just sharing part of my story that for us alcoholic, every time we pick up a drink we play Russian roulette. Most people go back within days or months, a few like me it takes year but I have no doubt now that sooner or later the bullet will hit us.[/QUOTE]

...and that is when we surrender, not before. So she might as well drink and get to that point. She's close, but not quite broken yet. God be with her.

bigsombrero

Sounds like you are now dangling alcohol as a carrot, a "reward" for good behavior.

I know quitting forever does not sound like fun. But it is. Problem is, you have to change your thinking. Do you see people just running around with beer and wine in their hands all day, dancing with glee? Is everyone slugging back vodka with their happy family dinner every night? No, they are not. In the end everyone without a problem stops drinking and doesn't obsess over it. And there you are, still running in place and a slave to the booze.

It might help to learn some coping skills and start to learn how to change your thinking about alcohol. It helped me. Good luck!

paul99

Whether you are ready to say it or believe it, your life right now - or the remnants of it - speak to a different truth. Battling your ego and your alcoholism only creates greater friction and creates a greater chance of relapses.

You mention:

Now contrast that with this statement:

So you can probably answer your own question of:

ReadyAtLast

Even if you stop for 3 months the problems won't suddenly stop if you start drinking again. You may well puke blood again,it just gets worse and worse. As others have said a lot of this is about changing your way of thinking.Drinking isn't a reward for good behaviour/something great etc.Last week you had genuine health concerns about drinking. why drink again if it makes you so ill? If you google alcohol withdrawal kindling there can be very serious issues with keep stopping and starting. Can you maybe get some support/go to AA to help keep you stopped? Maybe look at it one day at a time rather than forever,at least in the early days.

I have a child too and my husband and I used to drink every night. Looking back now it scares me that I was in no fit state if my child was ill.You said in your previous thread you were puking blood and your husband was passed out drunk. keeping drinking, it just gets worse and worse for both of you. Apart from serious health concerns from puking blood what if your kid is ill,neither of you will be able to look after them/deal with an emergency. I'm not preaching as have been there but maybe this is awake up call for you before something really bad does happen

ArcticSA

What I'd said is that the "getting smashed every night" chapter of my life is
over....drinking on THE night of my anniversary is quite different than that....

Received

Actually, from what you have posted in previous posts and threads you've started, no, it's not. And, I believe you know that.

The concern I have, is not just about you. Your bottom will come sooner or later. It's about the danger you may very well place your children in. And that makes me very sad, for them.

fini

Originally Posted by ArcticSA
What I'd said is that the "getting smashed every night" chapter of my life is
over....drinking on THE night of my anniversary is quite different than that....
sure.
so, let me ask an obvious question: you'd like support here from people who are working hard not to drink and dealing with their own possibly ambivalent "voices", and you're looking for support for not drinking for the next few months while you're planning to drink in June?
huh?

would undermine the reason for existence of a recovery forum, imo.

Xune

Time will tell.

Regards;

Xu

peanut44

Drinking on the night of your anniversary is different??

Seriously?????

I wasn't going to post anything and I'm speaking only for myself here but there is something about this thread that upsets me.

Like "i want help but I'm going to it do how i want to anyway".

You're either in recovery or youre not.

ArcticSA

OK then I guess this isnt the "recovery forum" I thought it was, I guess I thought my cutting back/reducing drinking by NINETY% was a GOOD thing??
I guess not! I guess my last post for support/encouragement on stopping CHRONIC binge drinking was not a good idea?
You know I was actually PROUD of myself for making such a DRASTIC change in my life, YES, for the sake of my children and myself, but I guess for most of you that isn't enough!!
Im not talking "moderation" or "just one drink" because no I dont want just one drink, I want to STOP DRINKING MYSELF to death EVERY NIGHT and thats is what I have done and am doing!!
But thats not good enough, nooooo!!!
The only option is to stop forever completely? Nope.
Am I special? Different? Like SOMEone inferred??
Maybe! Maybe I never got to the point where it will be impossible for me to drink occasionally!
Do YOU KNOW me personally and all my history? NO

So Im not doing what people want? Shouldnt be in this forum?
But I would like to stay because it is encouraging to read and share to and to remind myself how it was!
But I can gaurantee you Im NOT going back to that place in my life.
And I will post here EVERY week or everyday just to prove that I am DOING IT!
For heavens sake has noone really never,ever,ever in the history of man heard of someone *GASP* cutting back!!!!???
Well Im going to.
Dont believe me if you dont want to.
And if this forum is ONLY for those who want to be done cold-turkey for all eternity than by all means tell me?

peanut44

There is literally hundreds and hundreds of years of sobriety in the walls of AA and forums like these and if they tell me that cutting back doesn't work, I am definitely going to listen.

I LOVE pain pills. When i take them, i feel like normal. If i think i can EVER take them just once in awhile, i would be completely kidding myself.

Dive in to recovery. Feet first. Use all of the incredible advice you have received here. These people have went thru lots of pain so maybe we don't have to go that route.

That's great that you have cut back. Why not make the decision to go all the way?? That way you don't have to look at a 3 month goal, just do it one day at a time?

jkb

I am really grateful to have read this thread this morning... I needed it. Everything that you say ArticSA is what my AV says. I tried the once in a while thing... became a binge drinker. I honestly thought this was progress. After all I went from drinking daily to only a few times a month? For me it was a really stupid idea that just was an excuse to stay sick...I am glad to read this and not feel the need to try it again. With that said... if you can responsibly moderate than more power to you and I honestly hope it works. I haven't been sober long enough to give advice but, reading this really reminded me well ....of me.

ReadyAtLast

I don't think anyone is having a go at you. The problem is that if someone has a problem with drinking then moderation/cutting back/cutting down/only drinking on Fridays/Saturdays/weekends etc etc may work for a week or 2 but eventually it goes back to the way it was. People are only trying to help and share their experiences with you. If you have a drink problem then it will only get worse,not better,if you keep drinking. I'd tried moderation/cutting back for many years before I came here. As someone said on here, if you have to control your drinking it is already in control of you.

Ok, maybe you don't have a problem and have never tried to cut down before. Hope it works out for you.

ClearLight

Arctic - I think you're upset because you're not getting the answers you want to hear.
The thing is - as I understand it - one of the key attributes of the feedback on this board is honesty. If people disagree with you it would be dishonest for them to say otherwise.
I hope this doesn't turn into a forum of patting folks on the back whenever those folks want encouragement. The thing I value most from this forum is the honesty.
I also value the experience of the other folks on the board. But I don't think that would count for much if they weren't honest.
As long as the comments are respectful - and I haven't seen any that were not respectful.

soberlicious

Hey, I didn't finish reading all the responses. I just want to say that quitting for good is actually extremely liberating and the only way I found true peace.

You should try it...

peanut44

Clear light

I agree. Some of the best advice i have ever gotten was the hardest to take.

And the reason i knew it was the best advice for me was because it hit home.

Xune

Arctic, you are free to do as you please.

Not a single person here will stop you.

If you can use alcohol responsibly for the rest of your life, why are you choosing to hang out with a whole bunch of addicts who can't drink responsibly?

If you can moderate your consumption of alcohol, that's great.

So, why do you need the support of addicts who can't relate to you or even offer you advice?

I'm not understanding how this community of drunks can help you.

ArcticSA

You have a good point Xune. I bet if I looked I could find a group online for people looking to cut back.
And if the time comes when I decide to quit for good, for ever I know just where to go, Thanks Y'all!!!

jkb

There is a moderation management group.... I think thats what it is called.. Good luck with it.

ReadyAtLast

Arctic, no one wants you to leave. Maybe re-read your first post on this thread. You stated you have a problem, can't just have one,drink to get smashed,you puked blood and ended up in ER etc.You wanted advice as your husband suggested you drink occasionally. If you didn't think that might be a problem I don't think you would have started the thread at all. From that,your concerns 2 days ago you now want people to support your plan to start drinking again. It's your AV trying to convince you it's ok to keep drinking. You are convincing yourself drinking is ok. I hope you stick around -this is a great site.