MootPoint

missy, what a great thread!

My lightbulb moment was when i woke up on a ventilator with the doc talking about wet brain.

I used to drink to pass out on purpose........ hated life so much! One day, i drank too much and i drowned on my own vomit.

I just got an EKG to see if i have any cardiac damage from that day. Will find out the results in a couple of weeks.

wingsfree

Great thread Missy........I had a light bulb moment the other night at my AA meeting. The woman talking that night, kept her eyes on me at all times, at one point I thought I was imagining it, but my son pointed it out too, he said, did you notice she kept looking at you while she talked. So the light bulb moment was what she said to me, it hit like a ton of bricks, she knew what I needed to hear, I'm still letting it sink in, and sink in real good.

Thanks Missy, hugs.
Love....Denise

ted

SORRY ,GODZILLA WAS RUNNING AMUCK IN TOKYO.SOME OF US ARE SICKER THAN OTHERS,BRAINS STILL NOT UP TO PAR.I THINK THIS IS A SERIOUS LOOK AT ALL THE DAMAGE THAT IS DONE TO OTHERS BY THIS DISEASE.THANKS ALL,GETTING HUMBLE. :sweat STAY STRONG ted

Chy

Moot hoping all is well!

MootPoint

doin' a'right. Thanks for asking, chy. Tech said ekg looked normal to her, but she's not a doc. So i think all is probably well.

Dan

Thanks for the loan of the jacket Moot. I actually think we should keep a few extras on hand for emergencies. Think you could talk your supplier into a bulk discount? Anyway, have 'em shipped UPS to the Empty Tomb thread.

Little Missy

One of the things that has helped me out the most was advise from a great friend here at SR!

Not to feel sorry for myself. No more self pity!

So now, when I'm feeling down, I check to see if I am actually feels sorry for myself. And if I look deep enough, I usually am. Then I just admit it, since self pity seems to be another one of our worst enemies!

Thanks again, to that great friend! You have helped me to find myself.

I am becoming the person I want to be, thanks to all of you!
Love,
Missy

Little Missy

My light just about when out today, but it's glowing strong now!

My Mom being sick and needing me saved me once from my drinking.
May 9th, when she died, I was pregnant with my son, and he saved me from my drinking.
Now, I'm finally saving myself, with the help of all of you.

Missy

Dan

Good on ya Missy!

JaySee

A long time ago a person said to me..

"Why are all your problems always someone else's fault.?"

This comment REALLY bugged me...... but made me look at myself, and what I was doing, which was basically drinking like crazy and in denial.

MootPoint

Dan said....
:LMAO Will leave a few at the Empty Tomb thread.

scottsdaletom

Hi Little Missy,

Great thread and it is interesting to see all those "light bulb moments".

I think it is important to recognize, as it is stated sometimes in AA, that "There are No Justified Resentments". When we step back and take a good look at our lives, and where we are, it is good to take the attitude that I am responsible for everything that has happened and will happen to me. I own it. Not that I deserve any of it, but I own it and take responsibility for the conditions of my life. Whether it is the condition of my marriage, my health, my career, whatever, I own it all. It is critical to understand this for this reason - if I blame anyone else for anything in my life I am placing responsibility on something outside of myself and that something outside will have to change in order for me to get better. And the chances of that happening are very very small. But, if I own it, if it's on me, then I am now in a position to do something about it and that is very empowering.

My "lightbulb moment" in this regard was when I was contemplating all the people I have hurt in my life. I had the thought that I wish they understood that I never intended to hurt any of them. I thought then that it was interesting how people go through life and when they are hurt by others it probably stings more because in some cases they feel there was not only the injury but the intent to injure, and in most cases it would be wrong to assume the other person intended to hurt them. Then, eureka, it hit me - the people that hurt me in my life also more than likely did not intend to hurt me either! That was my first step towards true forgiveness.

As it says in A Course In Miracles; "In order to forgive, you must have first blamed". So true. If we haven't blamed anyone, we have no reason to forgive.

Take care!

Little Missy

Thanks for posting Tom! Great insight!

I'm also learning that for me, the think, think, think, thing doesn't work.
I have to think, think, think, translate it into something rational and start thinking again. Awe, my brain gets so tired. hehe

Missy

JaySee

Being told to embrace change ... make changes and hang on to them.

Then actually believing it.

JC :throb

ted

YESTERDAY,PITCHING SOME BASEBALL WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS 7 YEAROLD,
THINGS WER'NT GOING THE WAY HE THOUGHT THEY SHOULD.
I GAVE A LOOK OF DISGUST AT HIS FUSSING,
HE THREW DOWN THE BAT,AND WENT TO SIT WITH HIS MOM ON THE PORCH-SWING.
HE WAS WISPERING SOMETHING TO HER.


COME TO FIND OUT LATER HE TOLD HIS MOM,
I KNOW THAT LOOK TED HAD ON HIS FACE,
HE'S GOING TO GET DRUNK HUH?
WHAT A LIGHT BULB!


:beerchug: :uzi2: ted

Novemberphoenix

Knew I forgot something! Fresh light bulbs anyone? LOL

Novemberphoenix

Little Missy

The day you don't call, is the day you fall!!

Dan

Like I said Missy, no worries!

Little Missy

If you are looking for a Higher Power, all you have to do is look into the eyes of a child to know there is something bigger and better then us out there!! Awe, children are so innocent, so trusting, so loving!! What a gift!!

Love to all,
Missy

2dayzmuse

This still makes me shudder when I think about the "what ifs"? About three months ago I was in one of my drinking day into night, night into day modes. I had gotten my daughter dropped off at her dance class fine. I shouldn't have been driving, but by the grace of God I made it safely. I got home and hit it hard for the next 2 hrs. It was 6:00 and time to pick her up. I was so stinkin', skunk a** drunk, but was being "responsible" and had to pick her up. Stupid. I staggered through the garage to my car, got in and it wouldn't start. I remember being so pi**** off that it wouldn't start. Damn, stupid car. I went inside the house to call my sister. She lives next door to where dance is held. I grab my phone and go sit in my car. Why I call in my car? Who knows, but my phone is dead. My car won't start and my phone is dead, poor, poor me. I was again so pis*** I threw the phone on the floor of my car. I staggered back inside the house and fell. Ouch....I had a goose egg as a reminder for several days. I layed on the kitchen floor. It took me awhile to figure out where I was at. I stared up at the ceiling wondering "what am I doing to myself". I was in such a drunken haze, but still remember that moment vividly. I managed to make it to my bedroom and passed out. Next thing I remember is my sister sitting at the foot of my bed, begging me to stop doing this to myself before it killed me. The next morning (covered in bruises and a sore head) my son stopped by and gave my car a jump. Off I went to repeat the above. On the way home from the store, I saw my sister at the local gas station. Embarrassed over the last evenings debacle, I pulled in to visit, trying to smooth it over and pretend everything was fine. The only part of the conversation that sticks to me today, is her telling me I would never acieve my goals (true) unless I quit drinking. I agreed and said all the right things. Made all the right promises, all the while knowing there was a bottle waiting for me in my car, and I couldn't wait to get to it. It took several days before the impact of the "what ifs" kicked in. I thank my higher power for killing my car instead of me killing someone, due to drinking and driving. I know if my car had started, something horrible would have happened. Something that I could never change or take back. Something that would haunt me forever. I believe that my Dad was watching over me from above. Thanks "Pops" I owe you one.

God Bless,

Talia