Lionhearted1

I know From the title you are all going to think iam a naive newby trying to get an answer to continue drinking, this is not the case I know the addiction very well been in aa did not buy into it done avrt and love it works well with me and has been keeping me sober! My problem is I stopped drinking decided I would give it up was on 4 weeks yesterday and in the last 6 months drunk about 5 times,it was my 30th birthday I went away and my fiancé knowing all the problems we have had said do you think you will be able to just have a few drinks tonight? I was torn but decided as I was away I would try and it went fine but I know this means nothing because I have drunk moderately at times then bang iam off on a bender! My question is I feel I know a lot more about alcohol me addiction etc is it possible to moderate?? To be honest I don't know whether I even want alcohol in my life again but it wold be nice to feel normal, Ie if I won't a drink I can.... And this is not my addiction talking as I know deep down I will not go back to day daily drinking again as I have not in the last 6 months!!

Natom

Never known anyone who was genuinely an alcoholic go back to drinking moderately. I mean it was moderate for a while and then bang. Back into the same ways.

SDSurfn

Yep, this hits the nail on the head.


Only you can decide for yourself, lionhearted.

Try some controlled drinking. Try it more than once. You'll have your answer soon enough.

All the best,

SD

Fernaceman

I have made many attempts in vain to drink or use any substance in moderation. This is part of what defines me as an alcoholic and drug addict. An insane obsession to drink combined with a physical allergy of not being able to stop when I do.

As the Big Book states, "it is the obsession of every abnormal drinker that someday he will be able to control his drinking."

MIRecovery

Quit for 6 years back to 750/ml/day within two months. I have never known anyone that was alcoholic and could drink successfully. That is why it is a cronic disease.....you never are healed. Best case is that you totally abstain and recover.

Controlled drinking is like teasing a bit bull. Everything is fine until someone lets the dog out

Thepatman

Agree with SDSurfin and Nathom.

Maybe you miss-understood the AVRT method? Did you do your big plan?

Anna

Well, I don't drink and I DO feel normal.

It sounds like, at best, it would take a lot of obsessive thinking, and I am SO glad to have my mind free of any thoughts about drinking. There are so many better things to think about.

WingsFan13

100% correct

Fandy

any people who succeed with this are certainly not hanging around SR asking questions.

personally i find it exhausting to monitor myself and worry is 1 enough? are 4 too many? do i want more? MUST I have more than one? it's like an itch i can't scratch...and it gets me back to square one.

it's JUST a beverage that will kill me if i continue. there are beautiful days ahead if if i'm sober and don't get sucked into the pit.

Hollyanne

I would rethink the wedding if it is soon.
Best for your Fiance to get a bit educated on alcoholism and addiction.
And no, if you are an alcoholic, you cannot moderate.
As is often said, "If you are controlling it, you are not enjoying it and if you are enjoying it, you are not controlling it."

If you are going to do it anyway, definitely postpone the wedding.
See how you do drinking occasionally for a year or two.
Cheaper than divorce.

FreeFall

"If you are controlling it, you are not enjoying it and if you are enjoying it, you are not controlling it."

What a great quote! So true in my case. I'd have no luck drinking once in awhile unless awhile was defined "whenever I feel like it" lol It's all or nothing here.

Admiral

I ask myself the same sometimes and this is what I come up with.

What do I have to lose if I try to drink in moderation? Potentially a lot, I told myself that I would never drink again and would never change my mind, does moderation fit in with that statement? I could lose my sobriety, end up on another binge and end up regretting it for weeks.

What can I gain from moderation? Nothing, most of the attempts to rationalize moderation are fallacies, and it boils down to a desire rather than an actual need. My life will not improve if I started to drink in moderation, there is nothing that alcohol can offer me that is of genuine benefit.

Lionhearted1

But is there not proven data that suggest Some alcoholics do learn to moderate? Is not ridiculous to think that with all the human spirit is capable off moderating with alcohol can't be one of them things??

Also don't non alcoholics do just that,control there drinks! why would controlling something be non enjoyable?? I mean I controll how much money I spend on clothes but I still enjoy it!!!

Fernaceman

Admiral that was very well said. I could not agree more.

I would love to share your words with my group/club tonight if that is alright with you?

Fernaceman

Lion, you are also correct. It would be next to impossible to gather those statistics because most recovery communities operate under anonymity.

I'm sure it has happened. I used to have those same thoughts. Probably don't hear about it because no one tells or comes back around to talk about it.

For ME, however, hoping that this next to nothing possibility to happen is ridiculous. I can't continue doing damage to myself and everything around me jus for that small chance. There is honestly too much at stake. Mainly happiness and serenity.

Kza

you are an alcoholic not a shopaholic

you want the same feeling you got from drinking but only by having a few which will not give you that feeling.

Kza

[QUOTE=Lionhearted1;3631080]But is there not proven data that suggest QUOTE]

find this empirical data

odd now nobody here and we are experts in this can find any anecdotal evidence. surely successful ex alcoholic, now moderate drinkers would come here from time to time and explain there success. or are they too busy moderating?

MalkavianEmily

I don't think non-alcoholics do 'control their drinking'. Stopping at one or two isn't the same as controlling it. Most people who stop at one or two stop there because they don't want any more. That's not quite the same as stopping at one or two when you want more than that.
I've seen non-alcoholics drink, and the way they do is something that, to me, makes no sense. Sitting with a pint of beer in front of you and taking half an hour to drink it, to me, is strange behaviour. I've seen people sitting with their drink in front of them for so long that I started to think they didn't want it.

justhadenough

Spot on.

Normal drinkers take ages drinking 1 glass- I don't get it either!

DisplacedGRITS

i think we're very good at fooling ourselves. we have sobriety for a while and start thinking "if i can quit for this long, i must be VERY good at self control. why, if i can quit then logically, i can moderate!" so we go out into the world and we moderate. some of us even moderate for a while and are quite good at it. then, we move from moderating to indulging a bit. i mean, everyone indulges from time to time. it's normal! so we indulge. a little more. then we drink because we're stressed. everyone drinks a bit when they're stressed. then we drink a bit more when we're stressed. then we drink...and we drink....and we drink...and we're back. it can happen slow, it can happen fast but for the vast majority of people it happens. we are the leopard that cannot change it's spots. some people fall right back into where they left off, some people slowly work their way back. either way, we end up where we were and if we're lucky, we end up back here at Day 1 again, tired, a bit beat up but a lot wiser. you can learn it the hard way or you can learn it from people who have already walked that path. the choice is up to you.