i think we're very good at fooling ourselves. we have sobriety for a while and start thinking "if i can quit for this long, i must be VERY good at self control. why, if i can quit then logically, i can moderate!" so we go out into the world and we moderate. some of us even moderate for a while and are quite good at it. then, we move from moderating to indulging a bit. i mean, everyone indulges from time to time. it's normal! so we indulge. a little more. then we drink because we're stressed. everyone drinks a bit when they're stressed. then we drink a bit more when we're stressed. then we drink...and we drink....and we drink...and we're back. it can happen slow, it can happen fast but for the vast majority of people it happens. we are the leopard that cannot change it's spots. some people fall right back into where they left off, some people slowly work their way back. either way, we end up where we were and if we're lucky, we end up back here at Day 1 again, tired, a bit beat up but a lot wiser. you can learn it the hard way or you can learn it from people who have already walked that path. the choice is up to you.