Can problem drinkers/ abusers alcoholics ever drink moderately?
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Differance between my wife and me. Wife is normal drinker.
She does not like the feeling after anything more than 2 glasses of wine. For me 2 glasses of wine is not even a good start.
Wife will leave a quarter glass of wine unfinished. For me that is alcohol abuse
Wife could not imagine why anyone would drink enough to have a hang over. Me there is no way you could have drank enough if you did not have a hangover
The list goes on and on. If you have to control it, it is out of control
She does not like the feeling after anything more than 2 glasses of wine. For me 2 glasses of wine is not even a good start.
Wife will leave a quarter glass of wine unfinished. For me that is alcohol abuse
Wife could not imagine why anyone would drink enough to have a hang over. Me there is no way you could have drank enough if you did not have a hangover
The list goes on and on. If you have to control it, it is out of control
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
I know I can't moderate my drinking nor do I want to.
I feel normal now that I don't drink.
Normal drinkers don't have to work at or think about controlling their drinking.
What does your drinking history show you? What does that proven data tell you?
I feel normal now that I don't drink.
Normal drinkers don't have to work at or think about controlling their drinking.
What does your drinking history show you? What does that proven data tell you?
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Lionhearted - here is what you posted less than one month ago.
Originally Posted by Lionhearted1 
Been in and out of recovery since march 12 managed to get 2 months then relapse, then another month then relapse, then recently I got 6 weeks then relapsed and now I had 3 weeks and relapsed. I can't live my life this way it's so painful, the drinking really is a progressive thing after 2 months I drink 1 bottle of wine and thats it all bets are off. My fiancé has lost faith in me and thinks iam always going to be like this sober a while then relapse and to be honest I think she might be right, I get to a point where I get so worked up that drink seems the answer, I continually have this obsession that I will be able to control it this time!!! I am starting to feel that I can only stay sober 2 months then I get so unhappy because I can't drink or the last spree seems not so bad. Iam unhappy in recovery and unhappy drinking!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,180
Originally Posted by MIRecovery
Differance between my wife and me. Wife is normal drinker.
She does not like the feeling after anything more than 2 glasses of wine. For me 2 glasses of wine is not even a good start.
Wife will leave a quarter glass of wine unfinished. For me that is alcohol abuse
Wife could not imagine why anyone would drink enough to have a hang over. Me there is no way you could have drank enough if you did not have a hangover
The list goes on and on. If you have to control it, it is out of control
She does not like the feeling after anything more than 2 glasses of wine. For me 2 glasses of wine is not even a good start.
Wife will leave a quarter glass of wine unfinished. For me that is alcohol abuse
Wife could not imagine why anyone would drink enough to have a hang over. Me there is no way you could have drank enough if you did not have a hangover
The list goes on and on. If you have to control it, it is out of control
We all deserve respect & love
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 46
"Also don't non alcoholics do just that,control there drinks! why would controlling something be non enjoyable??"
Simple. They are not alcoholics & can enjoy moderation. They are not fighting an addictive inner spirit which takes over logical thinking which is what alcoholics have to deal with on a daily basis.
Simple. They are not alcoholics & can enjoy moderation. They are not fighting an addictive inner spirit which takes over logical thinking which is what alcoholics have to deal with on a daily basis.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
moderation is the dream of the drinker who has not given up the fight with alcohol. give up, admit you are powerless against alcohol and stop trying to control that first drink. stop fighting with it and commit yourself fully to not drinking that first drink. you don't have a problem with the third or sixth or tenth drink. you have a problem with the first one. until you realize that, you will continue to chase after moderation and feel unfulfilled.
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
Wow, PaperDolls. Only one word comes to mind:
PWNED.
I only say this because my addiction, too, lies to me and tells me I don't have an addiction and THIS time I will be able to handle/moderate because g-damnit I am me and I'm amazing and unique and just give me more time and I WILL find that magical way to do so!!!
PWNED.
I only say this because my addiction, too, lies to me and tells me I don't have an addiction and THIS time I will be able to handle/moderate because g-damnit I am me and I'm amazing and unique and just give me more time and I WILL find that magical way to do so!!!
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by backtolifeforme
"Also don't non alcoholics do just that,control there drinks! why would controlling something be non enjoyable??"
Simple. They are not alcoholics & can enjoy moderation. They are not fighting an addictive inner spirit which takes over logical thinking which is what alcoholics have to deal with on a daily basis.
Simple. They are not alcoholics & can enjoy moderation. They are not fighting an addictive inner spirit which takes over logical thinking which is what alcoholics have to deal with on a daily basis.
That is the differance
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 34
Originally Posted by DisplacedGRITS
moderation is the dream of the drinker who has not given up the fight with alcohol. give up, admit you are powerless against alcohol and stop trying to control that first drink. stop fighting with it and commit yourself fully to not drinking that first drink. you don't have a problem with the third or sixth or tenth drink. you have a problem with the first one. until you realize that, you will continue to chase after moderation and feel unfulfilled.
I've gone from 3 to 4 pints of beer every day to 2 or 3 pints twice per week. Yes sometimes I want more but stop myself. I like being in control, I like waking up clear headed 5x per week and I also like have a few pints of beer. I enjoy beer both the taste and feeling and have no intention of stopping.
I went from problem drinker to moderate drinker and I'm very happy. It can be done. I hate the AA "I'm helpless" BS.
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
Zimmmy, that is almost a fair thing to say. I do notice that you didn't use the word alcoholic tho. Only problem drinker. I believe that post was referring to those who consider themselves alcoholics.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 34
Originally Posted by Fernaceman
Zimmmy, that is almost a fair thing to say. I do notice that you didn't use the word alcoholic tho. Only problem drinker. I believe that post was referring to those who consider themselves alcoholics.
I asked this forum if I was an alcoholic and most said that since I'm here and was asking, then I am.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by zimmy
I really think this is ridiculous. Nobody is powerless. If you have the discipline to not drink, then you have the discipline to stop after 2 or 3.
I've gone from 3 to 4 pints of beer every day to 2 or 3 pints twice per week. Yes sometimes I want more but stop myself. I like being in control, I like waking up clear headed 5x per week and I also like have a few pints of beer. I enjoy beer both the taste and feeling and have no intention of stopping.
I went from problem drinker to moderate drinker and I'm very happy. It can be done. I hate the AA "I'm helpless" BS.
I've gone from 3 to 4 pints of beer every day to 2 or 3 pints twice per week. Yes sometimes I want more but stop myself. I like being in control, I like waking up clear headed 5x per week and I also like have a few pints of beer. I enjoy beer both the taste and feeling and have no intention of stopping.
I went from problem drinker to moderate drinker and I'm very happy. It can be done. I hate the AA "I'm helpless" BS.
We all deserve respect & love
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Canada
Posts: 46
There's a difference between alcoholism & alcohol abuse. It sounds like you experienced the latter.
What is the difference between alcoholism and alcohol abuse?
CDC - Frequently Asked Questions - Alcohol
What is the difference between alcoholism and alcohol abuse?
CDC - Frequently Asked Questions - Alcohol
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,772
I was a problem drinker/alcoholic/alcohol abuser and I could never moderate. The whole point of drinking was to get blasted so what good was one or two drinks? It ran me ragged trying to moderate and now that I've given it up altogether I feel a great relief from not having to 'control' my drinking. Besides, I didn't control my drinking, rather, my drinking controlled me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 34
Originally Posted by backtolifeforme
There's a difference between alcoholism & alcohol abuse. It sounds like you experienced the latter.
What is the difference between alcoholism and alcohol abuse?
CDC - Frequently Asked Questions - Alcohol
What is the difference between alcoholism and alcohol abuse?
CDC - Frequently Asked Questions - Alcohol
Trudger of Happy Destiny
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Naperville, IL
Posts: 1,918
I define myself as an alcoholic who is someone who has an insane obsession or urge to drink combined with the inability to "control" how much they do once they begin.
This is the big book's definition. The allergy of the body (inability to stop) and obsession of the mind (craving).
This is the big book's definition. The allergy of the body (inability to stop) and obsession of the mind (craving).
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 34
Originally Posted by least
I was a problem drinker/alcoholic/alcohol abuser and I could never moderate. The whole point of drinking was to get blasted so what good was one or two drinks? It ran me ragged trying to moderate and now that I've given it up altogether I feel a great relief from not having to 'control' my drinking. Besides, I didn't control my drinking, rather, my drinking controlled me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 34
Originally Posted by Fernaceman
I define myself as an alcoholic who is someone who has an insane obsession or urge to drink combined with the inability to "control" how much they do once they begin.
This is the big book's definition. The allergy of the body (inability to stop) and obsession of the mind (craving).
This is the big book's definition. The allergy of the body (inability to stop) and obsession of the mind (craving).
I think many alcoholics overdrink but still have some ability to shut it down. That shut down point might be 2 bottles of wine and that's too much.
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