Class Of September 2012 Part 3
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 54
Hello all -- Day 1... Again :-(
Hi All
I've been a lurker on the site for ages - I find your posts really helpful in getting me through dark times, of which there are many - and I finally decided to jump in.
I've been on and off drinking for years, but the past six months I've been under a lot of pressure at work, my anxiety/depression issues have been kicking in and my drinking's just beyond my control - I've been trying controlled drinking with help, but it so doesn't work for me; I'm alcohol dependent, if I drink I don't get a hangover, I get withdrawal.
Anyway, I stopped drinking yesterday, had a terrible night last night, the usual sweats and anxiety up the wall, no sleep... but I didn't drink this morning and got to the office. Keeping busy is helping to keep the anxiety down, chicken bovril is helping with the rest. So here I am again at Day 1. Let's see if I can do it any different this time.
Good luck to you all... I've got a lot from reading your posts in the past.
Thanks
I've been a lurker on the site for ages - I find your posts really helpful in getting me through dark times, of which there are many - and I finally decided to jump in.
I've been on and off drinking for years, but the past six months I've been under a lot of pressure at work, my anxiety/depression issues have been kicking in and my drinking's just beyond my control - I've been trying controlled drinking with help, but it so doesn't work for me; I'm alcohol dependent, if I drink I don't get a hangover, I get withdrawal.
Anyway, I stopped drinking yesterday, had a terrible night last night, the usual sweats and anxiety up the wall, no sleep... but I didn't drink this morning and got to the office. Keeping busy is helping to keep the anxiety down, chicken bovril is helping with the rest. So here I am again at Day 1. Let's see if I can do it any different this time.
Good luck to you all... I've got a lot from reading your posts in the past.
Thanks
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 259
Doing the podium dance!!!!
Up early because of a probation meeting...gotta love the alcoholic outfall.
I'm happy to say day 4 here and feelin strong!!!
Jimuk, day 16?!? Yiippee!
I'll catch up on the thread later on and welcome to all the new classmates.
Stay strong everyone, much love!!!!!
Up early because of a probation meeting...gotta love the alcoholic outfall.
I'm happy to say day 4 here and feelin strong!!!
Jimuk, day 16?!? Yiippee!
I'll catch up on the thread later on and welcome to all the new classmates.
Stay strong everyone, much love!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,462
Today is Day 20 for me. I will soon pass my record of 3 weeks sober and I could not be more thrilled. I still have times throughout the day where I feel empty, where I miss the buzz of alcohol, and it sucks. But when I really try to imagine having a drink, I dont' like the way it tastes or feels.
Welcome to the newcomers to this class, its never easy, but it really does get easier. For me, with each passing day comes more strength
Welcome to the newcomers to this class, its never easy, but it really does get easier. For me, with each passing day comes more strength
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Coastal Massachusetts
Posts: 1,637
I woke up determined to get back on the wagon. I will be the best sober father and husband possible. The thought of winning in this struggle makes me smile. I wish you all the best with sobriety. God Bless all of you and SR.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London UK
Posts: 12
My First Day
Hi - I'm a newbie. I have just stumbled across this site but already I feel some support just reading your threads.
I have planned to go to a local AA meeting tonight -for the first time - if I have the courage. Perhaps I'll wear dark glasses and a fedora...I really cant stand what I am doing to myself and want to stop permanently. But how? Where do I find the self-control.
I find the isolation of drinking alone at home just crippling. 6 pm each evening I open that bottle. Why? I have so much to be grateful for - a lovely home, beautiful child ( grown-up now) a great job with so much independence and a few loving friends. I have steadily put on weight with the booze and I look awful. I feel awful. I can no longer keep fooling myself. So this is my introduction. I need your strength and I will keep checking in.
I have planned to go to a local AA meeting tonight -for the first time - if I have the courage. Perhaps I'll wear dark glasses and a fedora...I really cant stand what I am doing to myself and want to stop permanently. But how? Where do I find the self-control.
I find the isolation of drinking alone at home just crippling. 6 pm each evening I open that bottle. Why? I have so much to be grateful for - a lovely home, beautiful child ( grown-up now) a great job with so much independence and a few loving friends. I have steadily put on weight with the booze and I look awful. I feel awful. I can no longer keep fooling myself. So this is my introduction. I need your strength and I will keep checking in.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 832
Welcome to all our newbies. Here's something for all to view and hopefully think about. We are in charge of our situation(s).
Today is the first day of rest of our lives.
I have the framed print of the saying that comes at the end of thi. It's posted above my desk.
Have a good day everyone.
One Choice
Today is the first day of rest of our lives.
I have the framed print of the saying that comes at the end of thi. It's posted above my desk.
Have a good day everyone.
One Choice
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: CA
Posts: 2,977
Welcome back MTN!
Welcome IWF & Figgy!
Congrats on the 20 days FABL!
WWG hang in there, you can do it!
Made it to the Podium! Day 16 today. Overall I think I had a pretty good weekend. Now it's back to the work chaos. We're down 4 employees now due to school starting up again and 1 out with an injury so I'm sure I will be buying a large redbull this afternoon to make it thru the rest of the day later on.
Have a great day class!
Welcome IWF & Figgy!
Congrats on the 20 days FABL!
WWG hang in there, you can do it!
Made it to the Podium! Day 16 today. Overall I think I had a pretty good weekend. Now it's back to the work chaos. We're down 4 employees now due to school starting up again and 1 out with an injury so I'm sure I will be buying a large redbull this afternoon to make it thru the rest of the day later on.
Have a great day class!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 54
Hello Figgy...
You and me both.
Little victory today - took the dog for a walk in the park and played fetch with him instead of a walk round the block to I could have a couple of drinks to get me through the afternoon. Feeling good about that.
You and me both.
Little victory today - took the dog for a walk in the park and played fetch with him instead of a walk round the block to I could have a couple of drinks to get me through the afternoon. Feeling good about that.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: London UK
Posts: 12
First Day at School
IWF - Great to meet you and somehow reassuring that we are new together... nice not to feel alone when beginning this daunting adventure.
I think walking and playing with your dog is an excellent move. I am seriously tempted to get a dog now that my daughter is off to University. It would be great exercise and such company. I am feeling quite wobbly on my own after almost 20 years of being a hands on mother. Not fun.
I think walking and playing with your dog is an excellent move. I am seriously tempted to get a dog now that my daughter is off to University. It would be great exercise and such company. I am feeling quite wobbly on my own after almost 20 years of being a hands on mother. Not fun.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: New England
Posts: 259
I want to scream and cry. I just walked over 2 miles, in heels, to go to my FIRST AA mtg.
It's not the best place in the city either (I took a bus then walked).
The building is abandoned, I called the # of the "nursery" where it's supposed to be and it's out of service, called 411 and they have no listing, called local AA and got answering service to which she said, yes I have the myg listed and this schedule just came out a couple days ago.
I'm beside myself. I'm dripping in sweat and it took a LOT of courage and effort for me to take this step and this is what I get?!?! I'm so fu**** angry. I may cross post in12 steps to get commiseration too because I'm really really upset.
It's not the best place in the city either (I took a bus then walked).
The building is abandoned, I called the # of the "nursery" where it's supposed to be and it's out of service, called 411 and they have no listing, called local AA and got answering service to which she said, yes I have the myg listed and this schedule just came out a couple days ago.
I'm beside myself. I'm dripping in sweat and it took a LOT of courage and effort for me to take this step and this is what I get?!?! I'm so fu**** angry. I may cross post in12 steps to get commiseration too because I'm really really upset.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Maryland
Posts: 235
Not a great way to start the day DB. I feel your pain..cant believe you waked two miles in heels. Ouch!! hopefully you will find another meeting you can attend instead.
I am at the podium with 11 days...whoop whoop! Hope everyone has a fantastic sober day!
I am at the podium with 11 days...whoop whoop! Hope everyone has a fantastic sober day!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 54
[QUOTE=Figgy;3581347]IWF - Great to meet you and somehow reassuring that we are new together... nice not to feel alone when beginning this daunting adventure.
Great to meet you too, and I did have a little sigh of relief when I saw your post today... you're so right it's nice to not be alone.
I'm more of a cat person actually (we have one of those too), but my partner wanted a dog. They're a lot of work - ours was a puppy and untrained and it's been quite a learning curve, and I've felt that I've taken most of the responsibility because I work very close to home and I drive so I can get back for walks and vet trips etc more easily. Partner is getting better at doing is fair share though which is great might even learn to drive 
If you like the total devotion of dogs go for it - it also helped me to feel responsible for something, especially when he we very little and needed constant attention. Now that he's older, I sometimes find his constant demands for love and affection a little annoying... see, total cat person LOL... but he's lovely and it does get me out, otherwise it would be a darkend room and a bottle for me many times.
Good luck to you... I hope you manage to focus on what you need and stay strong.
Great to meet you too, and I did have a little sigh of relief when I saw your post today... you're so right it's nice to not be alone.
Originally Posted by Figgy 
I think walking and playing with your dog is an excellent move. I am seriously tempted to get a dog now that my daughter is off to University. It would be great exercise and such company. I am feeling quite wobbly on my own after almost 20 years of being a hands on mother. Not fun.
If you like the total devotion of dogs go for it - it also helped me to feel responsible for something, especially when he we very little and needed constant attention. Now that he's older, I sometimes find his constant demands for love and affection a little annoying... see, total cat person LOL... but he's lovely and it does get me out, otherwise it would be a darkend room and a bottle for me many times.
Good luck to you... I hope you manage to focus on what you need and stay strong.
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