what is the f-ing point
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
M.C. You gotta start hanging with the winners in AA, the good oldtimers and the folks who are working their program. They are there .....
I wish you the best.
Bob R
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
I'm sorry to hear it Metal.
The only things anyone can give over the internet are advice and support.
On the advice front, check if your school offers free or cheap counselling services to students. Many of the larger unis do. I've never used them but I'll take a guess they should have a good deal of experience dealing with alcohol and substance abuse.
On the support front, you say a pat on the back won't help but I'll give you one anyway and you use it any way you see fit. Good luck...
The only things anyone can give over the internet are advice and support.
On the advice front, check if your school offers free or cheap counselling services to students. Many of the larger unis do. I've never used them but I'll take a guess they should have a good deal of experience dealing with alcohol and substance abuse.
On the support front, you say a pat on the back won't help but I'll give you one anyway and you use it any way you see fit. Good luck...
Still I rise.
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oh Canada!
Posts: 1,121
Damn, sorry life is sucking so badly for you right now, MC. You are still one of the many I look up to on here--you had so MANY great and sober days and advice for others. I know you can get back on the right track.
PM me if you need to vent/talk.
Try and not spiral down farther--you can rise up again. You are strong.
PM me if you need to vent/talk.
Try and not spiral down farther--you can rise up again. You are strong.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
metalchick, i am very sorry to hear this. there is a solution and i really hope and pray you want to get into it. i cant say as i know how you feel with the anger about the epople in AA using with ya. i cant know how anyone feels. but i can relate. it can get my britches inna bunch when i see people before a meeting drinking/gettin high, then go in and talk the talk. but i accept that it happens. its ognna continue happening. i dont think it matters what recovery program it is, whether for drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, overeating...you name it, the same thing happens. we aresick people.
tampa is a very big city. i know a man that heads down that way for the winter and he has told me about meetings where he was the only sober one in a room of 40 people. but then, he would go to a meeting around the corner and the sobriety in the room was astounding.
2 granddaughters gave ya a great suggestion and here it is worded a lil differently: seek out the fellowship you crave.
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.... or....
thoroughly have we seen a person fail who has rarely followed our path.
.... There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest
..... We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.....
i know you can do it!!! dont let the disease tell ya life is better drunk/high. its a liar.
tampa is a very big city. i know a man that heads down that way for the winter and he has told me about meetings where he was the only sober one in a room of 40 people. but then, he would go to a meeting around the corner and the sobriety in the room was astounding.
2 granddaughters gave ya a great suggestion and here it is worded a lil differently: seek out the fellowship you crave.
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.... or....
thoroughly have we seen a person fail who has rarely followed our path.
.... There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest
..... We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not.....
i know you can do it!!! dont let the disease tell ya life is better drunk/high. its a liar.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Clinton, MT
Posts: 255
MC...
Maybe try these folks....they may be able to help....it won't cost a penny to call.
Crisis Center of Tampa Bay
All the best...please take care of yourself.
Maybe try these folks....they may be able to help....it won't cost a penny to call.
Crisis Center of Tampa Bay
All the best...please take care of yourself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Pa
Posts: 4,872
MC,
Snap the **** outta this **** right now. You know you want a better life. You are 27. You hardly lived a life yet.
And in the US anyone can find help if they want it. Even if you need to go on welfare.
There are no excuses, and I am trying right now to practice what I preach.
Do you want your life back, or do you want to die??????
I wanted to die many times, thank God that I didn't.
Now get off of that pity pot, because I think I want to use it for awhile.
I just want the best for you, you are half my age. I want you to have the life that I didn't.
Now start getting back to work.
Pls check out all of the resources the people here have posted.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) You will get through this!!!!!!! You get to the gates of hell and you walk right past it,till you get to where you want to go.
Snap the **** outta this **** right now. You know you want a better life. You are 27. You hardly lived a life yet.
And in the US anyone can find help if they want it. Even if you need to go on welfare.
There are no excuses, and I am trying right now to practice what I preach.
Do you want your life back, or do you want to die??????
I wanted to die many times, thank God that I didn't.
Now get off of that pity pot, because I think I want to use it for awhile.
I just want the best for you, you are half my age. I want you to have the life that I didn't.
Now start getting back to work.
Pls check out all of the resources the people here have posted.
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) You will get through this!!!!!!! You get to the gates of hell and you walk right past it,till you get to where you want to go.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 540
Oh MC I'm sorry sorry for your struggle. I don't have much mor to offer other than what others have said. I know health care in the us sucks. Maybe try a suicide hotline? I am not saying that you a suicidal but you do sound pretty low and it would be someone to talk to and maybe they would have an idea for resources for you? Good luck to you.
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
MC i hate to hear about your struggles but you need to take a deep breath and start pulling yourself together. you know doing drugs with the AA people is wrong. those people are wrong for you. it's not AA that's the problem. it's hanging around them and letting them influence your program that's the problem. when that cr*p happens in your life that's when you need to draw on what you've learned in sobriety to turn those a**hats away and start looking for other people to be around. stop hanging with junkies! you're never going to get sober hanging with junkies. how can you expect to have any happiness or sobriety when you allow your life to be influenced be negative people? you deserve better than that. yeah, getting professional help is a struggle for you and for many people but it doesn't cost one red cent to cut those people out of your life so start with that. at least that will be making forward progress and will start bringing some control and peace back to your life. you have the power to do it. believe in yourself and know that you don't need those people. all the healthcare in the world won't help you if you're hanging with junkies, whether they're in AA or not.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
MC, I'm really sorry. It sucks, and it sucks even more that you were feeling alone. You're not alone.
Lots of good advice already. You know what you need to do.
As for the whole question of why... Remember how you were feeling before? Pretty great, right? Everyone has hard days, of course, but even then you were proud of yourself. And with good reason. You were doing fantastic. Why wouldn't you want to feel that way again?
You never have to face another day like this past one again. Ever. You know the way home already. You also know that you are perfectly capable of getting there. Who knows, maybe this needed to happen to cement your decision to quit. Use it like a slingshot, to launch yourself clear of addiction. What's now a source of regret can be instantly transformed into a source of gratitude. You can do it right now. So do it, OK?
Lots of good advice already. You know what you need to do.
As for the whole question of why... Remember how you were feeling before? Pretty great, right? Everyone has hard days, of course, but even then you were proud of yourself. And with good reason. You were doing fantastic. Why wouldn't you want to feel that way again?
You never have to face another day like this past one again. Ever. You know the way home already. You also know that you are perfectly capable of getting there. Who knows, maybe this needed to happen to cement your decision to quit. Use it like a slingshot, to launch yourself clear of addiction. What's now a source of regret can be instantly transformed into a source of gratitude. You can do it right now. So do it, OK?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 46
I so remember this state of being. I sat across the table from a female friend of mine, and every time she suggested something I bit her head off because she was clearly wrong every time. Either I had thought of it already or it couldn't possibly be that simplistic.
And eventually she stopped offering help. And I missed the empathy.
All I can say is that I hope the original poster can one day look back on this and realize the lens through which she's looking is very, very cloudy. Best wishes.
And eventually she stopped offering help. And I missed the empathy.
All I can say is that I hope the original poster can one day look back on this and realize the lens through which she's looking is very, very cloudy. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
dont give up. I saw you said you cant afford treatment. I live in Fl as well just further south. I called 211 and they were very helpful, there are places that will take you in for free. Be honest with them concerning your situation and they can help you find a suitable program for you. Keep off those drugs... man I havent done drugs in so long I dont know or want to know what dmx is.I highly recommend staying off cid as well that can really screw you up especially if your already unravelling. I wish you the best
Last edited by Dee74; 09-15-2012 at 01:51 PM.
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