MC i hate to hear about your struggles but you need to take a deep breath and start pulling yourself together. you know doing drugs with the AA people is wrong. those people are wrong for you. it's not AA that's the problem. it's hanging around them and letting them influence your program that's the problem. when that cr*p happens in your life that's when you need to draw on what you've learned in sobriety to turn those a**hats away and start looking for other people to be around. stop hanging with junkies! you're never going to get sober hanging with junkies. how can you expect to have any happiness or sobriety when you allow your life to be influenced be negative people? you deserve better than that. yeah, getting professional help is a struggle for you and for many people but it doesn't cost one red cent to cut those people out of your life so start with that. at least that will be making forward progress and will start bringing some control and peace back to your life. you have the power to do it. believe in yourself and know that you don't need those people. all the healthcare in the world won't help you if you're hanging with junkies, whether they're in AA or not.