MetalChick

K, i am done-- Ty

Dee74

I wish you the best MC - hope you find some solution.
You deserve all the good things in life, just like everyone else.

Keep us updated

D

MetalChick

I do appreciate you guys even if you can't really help, but I guess the fact that you even talk to me is a help. I have been hold up here and missed classes and have been alone in this big house. I haven't even heard my own voice in a while.

MetalChick

delete

MrsKing

If you can't afford any medical help there are many self help books for low moods, anxiety, depression etc. You can even read how to combat it online. Try to calm down. Today is a new day. Time to forget the last few days and focus on now. What do you enjoy doing? What will make you feel better about yourself? That's what you need to be doing now - focusing on getting yourself back to the place you were at a few weeks ago. You CAN do it, MC - you know you can.

ebshot

MC, I'm sorry to hear you are struggling. I do not know anything about Tampa but in my area there if you call 211 and get connected to EMPS (Emergency Mobile Psych Service) they can help and it is free. Even if it is just someone to talk about how you are feeling. And they might have more resources available to them.

Sapling

Hey MC...Do you need a Doctor?....Or do you need to just stop doing what you are doing?...And get back to what you were doing before? You can find a lot of people in AA that don't do acid and smoke crack...Trust me. I'd suggest that's what you do. You know you can't be around people like that...Learn from it....Get your white chip...Get a sponsor...And get busy. You were happy before...Like Dee said...Read your posts...You messed up....It happens...Get back to it.

soulgypsy

I can feel your rage and frustration, MetalChick.

I am sorry you are feeling so lost and alone. Keep searching inside yourself for the real you, the one that has the strength to pull you through this without drugs. Keep breathing and keep trying. Never give up.

I wish you peace today.

fallingtogether

I'm sorry that you're going thought this mc, but maybe it's time to find a new meeting to attend. How are you going to get better if the people you are seeking support from and to support are out doing drugs with you? Sorry, I just don't get it. Best of luck to you. I see in ur posts how much you're hurting. It doesn't have to be this way! We will all be thinking of you!

freshstart57

MetalChick, you will get through this and come out the other side, and I know this because you have decided to reach out. I will help you if I can, send me a pm.

Klia

Here in KY my local health department only charges whatever you can pay to be seen. I went for my depression years ago and told them that I could only pay them $5 and they accepted that. Then my scripts that I had filled there were only $7 or something like that. Maybe your clinic will do the same?

flutter

Sorry you're feeling so ******, MC. We were all pretty lost and f'd up at some point, hopeless and drowning. I sure hope you find some light in the dark.. I'm so glad that you reach out here, if anything else, we do understand..more than you might think right now.

SoberForMySon

MC I am from St Pete originally. Hello, neighbor! I do know some resources in Pinellas. Regardless, I am always here to listen. I do think you can do this. Keep posting.

Vall

Dear MetalChick,

I find a punch bag made out of big soft cushions very useful at times like this - when there seems to be no answers - and you need to get out/away for a while.

Or a long long walk/run.

Take care.

SeekSobriety

Free help can be found at a local University, contact a local large State or Private University with a Psychology or Psychiatry program, call and ask to be conncted to the psychaitry dept Ask them for a referral.

It has helped many people I know.

Also have you tried Narcotics Anonymous? Find a gender specific group, find some old timers and start working the program again with the same amount of energy we gave/give to using. The Old timers with long term sobriety know how you can stay sober. If you are willing to listen to them.

I know you can do this! Keep on posting and stay strong, have you Asked your higher power to help you today? (whatever your higher power happens to be, it does not matter)
It helps when I get on my knees and ask for help, sometimes I had no idea who Inwas asking for help, but just to ask for help to the universe was enough.

Nuway2fly

I'm feeling for you, Metalchick. Please don't give up--you are worth whatever it takes. Lots of good suggestions here. And yes, I know the current health care situation in the US is a Rubik's cube. I wish it were otherwise. Hang in there, and let us know how you're doing.

PaperDolls

I'm sorry you're struggling MC. Your posts around here were great and I watched you get better the longer you were here. Please do not give up.

Staying sober and continuing to grow is work but in my experience it's much less work than drinking/using and being miserable.

Time to make a decision. What are you going to do next?

NoFireWater

MetalChick please don't give up hope. You can find a way to deal with this and come out stronger and healthier. We see posts every day from people who were at rock bottom and have climbed out of the dark hole.

It sounds like loneliness is making you crazy. Maybe you need to get out of the house and find someone to help to take your focus off your own stress. If you're broke, look for a job-it would help you meet people and get you money at the same time. I still think a kitten is the easy fix it right now

I did find this link to a Tampa Women's Resource Center. Sounds like they have help for just about everything. Can't hurt to call them WOMEN'S RESOURCE CENTER OF TAMPA

bryangt

Prayers out to you MC. Are there any people you have met through meetings etc...that you can call on (& not the ones who partied with you) ? I know at times we all feel alone in this, but these are the times we need to reach out for help. As proud & alone as we feel, this is the time to reach within and reach out to others you know you can trust & rely.
Be strong....My heart goes to you....

hypochondriac

Thinking of you MC x

I think it takes a while to get used to honing in on the sober people rather than people who drink/use. Maybe that's what needs addressing here... There are always going to be people who are actively using at meetings so maybe it's best to just try and hang out with the ones who aren't til you feel stronger. Have you got a sponsor you can talk to about this?

Btw, how's that violin coming along...? x