hypochondriac

It was the same for me too Kat but no one made me talk. Just say no thanks if you don't want to say anything Luling x

oinobares

I have a new meeting in just under 2 hours and sense that ever-present (let's say habitual) inner "groan." This despite the fact that at last night's meeting I met some super cool people and had a rewarding time. I know I just have to overcome that inertia and go out the door and through the other door say hi and sit down. It's the way I am with exercise--I equivocate and put it off, even while knowing that every time I do it I feel great and I am glad I did. It is a strange phenomenon. My alcoholic self liked nothing more than to just sit and vegetate in isolation.

In any event, best wishes for your decision. I've chosen AA as my path in recovery, so I'm trying to really work it, and go (a lot). I say, "try it you'll like it"

Payton

I don't understand this. She has a desire to quit drinking. Isn't that all that AA requires? She's planned on meetings 4-5 times, I think that means she is drawn to AA, wants help, and she should go.

desertsong

I don't know why the previous poster said what she did .... that doesn't sound like her and maybe we all misinterpreted it ... but all I can say to it is this: You don't have to be sober to go to AA. Seriously. I've seen people walk in drunk ... walk in hungover ... still smelling of alcohol ... leaving meetings and then going out to drink more ... oh yes, we've seen it all.

All that is required for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. Period. You want to stop drinking, so you qualify. You aren't perfect. You don't know if you're ready to stop drinking. You're feeling snarky, insecure. No worries. We get it. This week in my group, we've had FIVE newcomers ... I live in a small town, so FIVE newcomers in one week is a big deal ...

Seeing the pain in their eyes ... hearing their suffering ... breaks my heart. But they are THERE. That's all that matters, and that's all we want as AA'ers. Our 12th step tells us to carry our message to the alcoholic who still suffers ... and that is the BEST part of the program, as far as I'm concerned. I have been where they are. I know their pain. And I want them to have relief from their pain. No one should live in that hell and if I can help, then God give me the resources to do what I can. Helping them helps me.

GO to the meeting. Just GO. We've all had our first meeting and I would bet that 99% of us would tell you that it was no big deal and made them feel sooooo much better. I'm 3 years into AA and I can tell you that EVERY meeting STILL makes me feel better. Go for it.

fairenough

luling, please give it a try. many years ago when I didn't drink I had an employer who was in aa. it was her entire life and all her aa friends were always around. it was like a subculture. many years later now, if I hadn't taken that first step in there to a meeting last week, I never would have realized how I stereotyped. the people that I met were wonderful and welcoming and nothing like my old boss's friends. ( not to say boss's friends weren't good people. It's just some you mesh with and some you don't. So try different meetings if you need. Nobody made me talk. Please give it a try.

breath

You'll finally go and be happy, joyous and free. Just don't be mad at yourself for your hijinks and waffling. It makes good chat before and after meetings in the future when you have found that you finally found what you'd been seeking for so long. Now excuse me while I make some Iced Tea, get on my bicycle, and secretary tonight's meeting. Gotta go.......

Sapling

I don't understand it either...And I wouldn't pay any attention to it And I'd answer the question....Do you have a desire to quit drinking?...That is the only requirement for membership..That's all...Nada mas...Nothing else.

debsam

Luling,

This thread was going along beautifully, until that "out of left field" comment.

Stay the course - please give AA a go. I was open to all kinds of support and I KNOW YOU ARE TOO.

Just try it my friend and see how it goes.

Please don't be discouraged.

Big Huggies

Zencat

Maybe this DBT exercize Pros and Cons will help you push past your fears about entering the AA meeting place.

I'll work it with you

Tolerating Distress:

Pros: I will feel accomplished that I went into the meeting. Resulting better self-worth.

Cons: I would have to try very hard to overcome my fears of entering the meeting.

Not Tolerating Distress:

Pros: Its much more what I'm used to, I do not like to be fearful.

Cons: I want to change and I know it will be stressful. Feeling anxiety is unpleasant to say the least but in order to do the things I want. I have to risk being uncomfortable to feel great about myself because of pushing myself past my fears.

Zencat

Double post removed, system failure.

tomsteve

the hardest doors to an AA meeting i ever had to open were the ones at my 1st meeting, and they were automatic!! greatest move i ever made.

and dont worry about the 2 headed mutants. i hear we dont get to meet them tll 10 years of sobriety.

sugarbear1

Try reading the big book. If you can relate, you'll know, and then either call the local intergroup office and talk to them, see if you can meet someone there maybe before the meeting & go in with support or just walk in. We didn't have a problem buying or drinking the booze. Willingness to go to any lengths works wonders. Lots of great information is in that book.

Jeni26

Luling, you are so so like me!!!! Getting swayed by a comment you perceive to be negative, then allowing it to take over your thoughts until you can no longer hear all those voiced that are reassuring you! I do that all the time, I just can't seem to stop doing it and it's so self destructive.
I had a wonderful meeting last night, I met someone who I'd opened up to about my concerns and struggles about my husbands drinking many weeks ago. When I told her he'd now given up with me, she was almost in tears with happiness. She hugged me, said a prayer with me. I will never get over how much these people genuinely care and support each other. I came away feeling so loved and understood. I have never experienced a group of people who feel things the way I do.
AA is changing my life. I'm just starting my journey, but I'm not doing it alone.
Just try it xxxx

Sapling

You know why....Right?

Luling

Thanks all, I'm still going to go. I'm such a silly overthinker, and then when someone writes a comment that I find to be confusing, it sets off another round of debate inside my head.

(Thanks for the pm, sb. I'll reply later; I'm heading out for my run shortly.)

OCDDan

Luling,
I used to go to one particular meeting just to get a signature for my probation officer, it seemed like everyone there was just there for a signature, it was a meeting located in the middle of the city, very little sobriety there, you could sit there just like you were sitting in the park watching people go by, noone seemed to care about you.

The most participation was at the end when everyone holds hands and says the serenity prayer, that and hanging out in line, handing in the paper to get signed was the extent of my participation. So that was an easy meeting to go to, and the stories were really horrific there too (good for me the listener).

When i compare different meetings in my head, there all seemed a little different, but you might find a meeting in a rough area easier to walk into, this one did not seem to chummy, that might help build confidence to got to a meeting near you. just be carefull if you do.

soberbrooke

I sent you a private message Luling, I am here if you need anything. I know that feeling of being scared. I was there once, and it's not fun.

FlyerFan

That's what we alcoholics tend to do, overthink and over analyze. Going to a meeting always helps me clear my head out of all those silly and crazy thoughts.

sugarbear1

For what it's worth, I wrote according to the 2 previous posts you had written, Luling. Re-read what you wrote.

Maybe your higher power saved you by not letting you get into those meetings.

Who knows what was going on in there at that time?!? Call the AA line and talk to people, ask about those meetings.

Read the big book. Be willing to go to any lengths. Be desperate enough. And be prepared to hear a zillion opinions on any topic brought up in there (or anywhere).

In 25 years, I've seen too many go to AA, hear the wrong thing, and not ever want to go back.... recovery and future options impeded and negative consequences happened.

Commit to staying stopped. Then commit to a program of action. Simple, not easy.

Love & hugs,

aeo1313

Luling- I hope you go and I hope you meet warm, caring poeple like I did. I really enjoy the people at the meetings and always leave feeling better than when I came in. I now even stick around for a few minutes (sometimes) to chat with people.

You can do this!