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Old 05-07-2012, 08:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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I feel odd in meetings


I'm going to dual group meetings at the hospital after I went to the ER for drinking too much. LOL fun times. Well every time I go to those meeting, I feel really odd and feel so point less. I feel like everyone in the grow are 13 year old girls that can't seem like they can't move into adulthood. Maybe because my problems does not get to me anymore but I sit there and learn to those people whine and whine about every little thing that, I just want to leave and go to work. I know that's not very nice to say but I can't say that in the meets. Oh the people in the group is not high or hungover.

The only reason why I'm going to those meetings is because I have not gone to court for my DUI and I need something to show that I'm getting help.

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Old 05-07-2012, 09:18 PM   #2 (permalink)
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I remember when I was made to go to meetings to keep my drivers licence. If I only new then what I no now I would have dont things a little different. But thats how most alcoholics think I will do this just because I have to and when its over I will quit going. Once you start aa or na something happens in our minds we kind a like being the center of attention even if it is a group of people talking about there problem with alcohol maybe I can get use to this and wont need to drink no more. So I kept going and going I had a relapse or 2 but the group helped me get into a treatment center. And that helped to so dont feel like your by yourself because your not, just keep going to meetings when you can and keep posting. Self will destory us if we let it I choose not to. Blessings to you.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:21 PM   #3 (permalink)
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So, I'm confused. You're just going to AA for the courts? So are you just relying on SR, or do you have another program?

Also, I'm not in AA, but seems like sharing personal struggles is one of the best reasons to go to a support group. Another is to offer support.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:26 PM   #4 (permalink)
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it sounds like a meeting, but not necessarily an AA meeting, at least I hope it's not with all that whining....
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:27 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I've never been required to go to meetings, but if I were, and if I were desperate for a new life, I'd go and I'd listen. Easy for me to say, I know ... I go to AA and that is totally voluntary on my part. I don't know if you're the praying type, Action, but if you are, I'd recommend that you ask God to show you what you need to hear in those meetings. Even the "13 year old girls" have something valuable to share if you're willing to listen. Just my point of view, of course.

Incidentally, my regular AA meetings have been somewhat challenged lately by a new guy (he's not new to sobriety, but new to our noon meetings) who COMPLETELY rubs me the wrong way. He laughs at his own shares, laughs at others' shares (even when it's completely inappropriate), and is often really disruptive. Yet ... when I put my annoyances aside and really allow myself to listen to this guy, he tends to share some VERY real stuff. Puts me in my place, for sure. You don't have to like the person ... but every person has something valuable to share. Interesting how it all works.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:34 PM   #6 (permalink)
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So you're going to the meetings because you're required to and you're not getting anything out of it. Forgive me for asking but do you feel like a dry drunk? I've just noticed that none of your posts that i've come across seem to lack any motivation or pride in your sobriety. Like just going through the motions. I've been in rehab and meetings with people who were court ordered to be there and i found that they sucked the life out of the meeting. Other people are out there trying to work out their issues and get to the reason their life has become unmanagable and you're there to avoid court. Have some respect for those 13 year old girls who are digging deep and finding the strength inside to bring those boogymen deep in their souls to the surface in front of strangers.
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Old 05-07-2012, 09:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
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The question is, not the imperfections of AA, no program is perfect, if we, alcoholics look hard enough we'll find something...the question is do you really want to stop drinking? I've relapsed many times and finally came to the conclusion that down deep, I still wanted to drink...even though it made me miserable...so I am trying hard to be honest and find a program which will work for me...all that really matters for all of us is to find out what works for us and give it 100% AA, therapy, Smart Recovery, meditation, confiding in trusted individuals and our doctor...there are many things to try...best wishes for a happy, sober future!
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Old 05-08-2012, 12:18 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Sorry it's not an AA meeting. It's a dual meeting with people who have mental programs and alcohol and/or drug problem. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. It's similar to AA but there is no prayer or big book. There is also a counselor their watching over the group. I'm not force to go there from the court or anything but I do know that if I don't show that I'm doing something with my problem then it will look bad on my part when going to court which I don't know yet. It's been over 17 months now.

I do understand that people get comfort with talking about their problems and struggles in life but I just get irritated by the whole thing. Most likely, I think that way is that I don't know those people, my beliefs are so much different from them and I know why I binge drink in the first place and know how to deal with it.

My life is not perfect in anyway and I do have problems but I deal with them and don't get try to get to into it. Life will move on if you want to or not. Not going to focus on the pass anymore. I life for today and plan on the future.

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Old 05-08-2012, 03:55 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Action...maybe try adding AA meetings? And get all you can out of the dual meetings. Take what you like, forget the rest. Even if you don't think you are gaining from them at all, maybe you are at least learning more patience. And that's an asset in sobriety.
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Old 05-08-2012, 04:13 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by ACT10Npack View Post
I do understand that people get comfort with talking about their problems and struggles in life but I just get irritated by the whole thing. Most likely, I think that way is that I don't know those people, my beliefs are so much different from them and I know why I binge drink in the first place and know how to deal with it.

My life is not perfect in anyway and I do have problems but I deal with them and don't get try to get to into it. Life will move on if you want to or not. Not going to focus on the pass anymore. I life for today and plan on the future.
Maybe you should go in with the attitude that you could use your past to help some of these people. You never know when you you might say one thing that could save someone else's life...Or when you might hear one yourself. Be openminded ACT1ON.....Be positive when you go to them. And good luck to you.
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Old 05-08-2012, 07:18 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Do you share at the meetings?
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Old 05-08-2012, 08:41 AM   #12 (permalink)
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I know some group members need to talk out their problems in a safe environment without being judged. This is where a trained mental health professional comes in to play, keeping the group a safe place to do that in. I know I cant find that type of safety in meetings outside of the dual groups I attend.

As others suggested, try to be fully present and attentive to the other group members. Even tho I have extreme difficulty feeling any emotional connection to others, I do try to 'act as if' I do. Showing others you care has wonderful healing properties. I know it helps me to heal when others care about me.
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