I remember when I was made to go to meetings to keep my drivers licence. If I only new then what I no now I would have dont things a little different. But thats how most alcoholics think I will do this just because I have to and when its over I will quit going. Once you start aa or na something happens in our minds we kind a like being the center of attention even if it is a group of people talking about there problem with alcohol maybe I can get use to this and wont need to drink no more. So I kept going and going I had a relapse or 2 but the group helped me get into a treatment center. And that helped to so dont feel like your by yourself because your not, just keep going to meetings when you can and keep posting. Self will destory us if we let it I choose not to. Blessings to you.