Frankie12

Well, it was my own decision to withdraw from social events this holiday season, because the people I usually spend these times with are pretty heavy drinkers. I was afraid that my two week sobriety would not hold up in the environment.

But now I am paying for these decisions in other ways, feeling incredibly sad, lonely and isolated. Sober, but lonely and sad.....

One more day of this.... then life returns to "normal"

bozboz

It get's' better Frankie, promise. And like you said, it is only one more day.

artsoul

I think you were probably smart, Frankie..... Even though it's hard right now not to feel left out of things, your sobriety is a lot bigger than a holiday. Think of it as an investment in all the holidays to come - my second Christmas is so much better than the first was.

It's all new right now, but better thing are ahead!

Sapling

And they could probably care less that you are not there....They're drinking...Think about the damage and shame and hurt of your past holidays...And be thankful you don't have to do that anymore...It's all about changing everything Frankie....for the better. You're not missing anything you wouldn't be regretting in the morning. Hang in there. You have a new life ahead of you...Think about that.

DisplacedGRITS

Hey Frankie. You may be physically alone but we're never truely alone here. You made a decision that is right for you at the time. Take time for yourself and don't think of it as isolating yourself. Take it for what it is. You are putting yourself in a safe place for now. I've avoided a sci-fi convention that I was a huge part of partially because of the huge evening drinking culture. It's not for forever. Just until you can get some measure of control over your life.

ReadyAndAble

Sorry you're feeling alone, Frankie. I do think you made the right decision. If it helps maybe you can think of this as an investment in the Christmases yet to come. It will get better.

eJoshua

Sorry to hear of your loneliness... The holidays can be really tough, but can only get worse if we drink.

Dee74

Although it might seem rough now, I think you absolutely made the right decision Frankie
I hope things get a little easier for you

D

sugarbear1

The death of the alcohol infused days require mourning.

Every feeling you numbed is returning. Your body is healing. The delusions are becoming clear. Yeah, what goes up, must come down, then it evens out.

It will get better! Give time time & heal. Sobriety is a beautiful gift!

Itchy

Frankie,
Good job! Like other jobs we'd rather not do, it has to be done to enjoy the results. You're just waiting for your reality check to clear. It'll earn your interest soon enough. Meanwhile, enjoy a special cup of coffee or some spiced tea. It's time to heal.

Frankie12

Thank you everyone for the comfort.

It is not the fact that I am not drinking this Christmas, which is getting me down, it is the loneliness of this Holiday season.
Come to think of it, the loneliness is a yearly visitor at this time of year, a yearly reminder that I am alone.

It is actually one of the reasons I finally decided to quit drinking. I very much want to be in a relationship again, a healthy one, not a relationship clouded by alcohol or destructive habits.

I don't know if that will ever happen again for me.....

Dee74

I was lonely all my life, Frankie.

I found once I started working on myself and learned to love myself, I started to attract others - but more than that, I became a lot more comfortable in my own company, and a lot less lonely anyway

Stick with it Frankie

nogard

Good decision Frankie, looking after myself was something I had to learn from scratch.

All the best to you.
Kevin

irab

One of the best ways I know - to feel less isolated - go to a meeting, in fact go to 2 or 3 meetings a day. hang around with recovering people. Make new fiends. get a sponsor.

RobbyRobot

How awesome are those reasons?!!

Have courage and don't despair. You're on a most true and sincere journey to ensure a healthy relationship again! Hold fast and continue knowing your efforts are not in vain. Sobriety really does enhance and create a whole new life to share with your chosen in a seriously loving relationship.

Best wishes and strength.

aasharon90

With 21 yrs. sober I still guard my sobriety with
the best intention. Once you have found your
comfortable place in recovery you will also treasure
each day sober with pride and humbleness.

It has been said that we should enjoy recovery and
not be a glum lot. A sad person. I often prayed to
laugh and be funny so others can laugh with me.

And it has come true. For me to say something that
comes out of nowheres and others laugh completely
astounds me. It's like i say to my self, thank You for
allowing me to crack a joke because i dont really know
how.

In doing so, it gets me out of my own selfish thinking
and lighten up a bit.

After a 25 yr marriage and raising 2 awesome kids, I
found myself sad in that life. Many tears were shed and
prayers said before I was blessed and taken out of
that situation extremely pleasantly and returned to my
hometown where i was placed with another awesome
person where we have been married for 3 yrs.

Never did i dream that i would be remarried, learn how
to ride a motorcycle and get my endorsement, tattooes,
ride a Beautiful Harley Road King across country all at
the age of 50.

Simply unbelievable.

Life is simple for me today and i like it like that.

Find something you have always wanted to do
and do it sober. And ENJOY, Smile, Laugh.

DayTrader

Hey Frankie... I know the feeling. I lost my license 5 yrs ago and getting out hasn't come easily.

I did get a lot of things done around the house to occupy my time though...and it gave me a nice sense of accomplishment: painted several rooms, remodeled my office, built a new computer, etc. I also used that time to learn a lot about recovery and AA.

I found, and still find, that going to meetings can be helpful but some meetings leave me worse off than when I went in. That said, I did find some great speakers to listen to on the net. AA Speaker Tapes : Listen To Alcoholics Anonymous Speakers has a podcast (you need to install itunes to get it) that's free. There are MANY inspirational talks on there. Maybe you'll find them as useful as I did.

The reality is, sobriety can be lonely at times - until you find suitable replacements for drinking and partying. How quickly that happens is partially up to you. For me, I had to put myself out there, so to speak. I had to be willing to do some searching around, attend some different meetings, meet some new people, and get involved in the recovery "community" in my area. As you start to do that, I think you'll find that there's far more to life than you realize and those lonely times will diminish quickly.

Tigger41

Hi Frankie. I think you make a great point with getting sober and finding a healthy relationship. I think when we're drinking a lot we seem okay but to other people we look like a person with a drinking problem

I'm so impressed with people who can stay sober who don't have people around watching them to make sure they don't drink. I think you're doing great and if this is your first Christmas sober (like it is mine) I think people say its the hardest (I hope so).

Take care. Few more days and all the "Holiday" stuff will be over - and I have to say it will be a huge relief.

Stay strong. Take care.