Can't do it
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Midwest
Posts: 343
Daphne, it's hard. I went 22 days and relapsed. I didn't enjoy my drunk that night and I'm back to day 5, but still, I think about doing it again. I guess that's how addiction works. I am just trying to make it day by day, without thinking ahead beyond that.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by Dee74 
so...I really love talking about myself Daphne (not)
....if it helps, you can read a fuller version of my story in the Stories of Recovery forum
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-one.html
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-part-2-a.html
D
What makes your life better now? U clearly are a clever guy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: scotland uk
Posts: 163
Originally Posted by flamingredhair
Daphne, it's hard. I went 22 days and relapsed. I didn't enjoy my drunk that night and I'm back to day 5, but still, I think about doing it again. I guess that's how addiction works. I am just trying to make it day by day, without thinking ahead beyond that.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
For quite a while I thought I couldn't quit drinking either. I was wrong. Cause when I quit the last time I was so sick of it, and sick of myself drinking, that it was the end of the line for me. I couldn't drink and I couldn't not drink. I was either drinking or in withdrawals.
Two years later I feel much better and don't wake up hating myself anymore. I wish I'd quit drinking sooner.
Two years later I feel much better and don't wake up hating myself anymore.
I wish I'd quit drinking sooner. Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,454
What makes your life better now?
I'm no longer tethered to alcohol or drugs to help me face life.
I didn't realise how much alcohol had coloured my perceptions and my worldview, even when I was sober, until I'd quit for a month.
That's how ingrained (and insidious) my relationship was
I'm much much closer to the person I want to be now and my life has meaning again...and joy and peace.
I can look myself in the eyes in the mirror again.
Just not drinking didn't do that...it took a lot of work besides...but I couldn't be where I am had I not quit drinking.
That was the first step
you can do this Daphne - it starts with a decision not to drink today
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: I'm exactly where I should be.
Posts: 1,889
Originally Posted by daphne
Everything seems better with a drink, sorry, sorry but people are funnier, the sky looks blue-er, music sounds awesome
Really trying to get more will power but struggling sorry
Really trying to get more will power but struggling sorry
I used to think that life was better after a few shots, too. Once that bottle walked in the door it was as good as gone & life was good. My identity was created around booze. That was me that was all I knew. But it ended up not as good as I thought.
After I quit, I realized that thinking life was better was safer than mustering up the extra effort it takes to stop.
I've drank most of my life, as well...started at 16ish and continued for 30 years...and the only apology was to myself that I hadn't stopped way sooner.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: VG, BVI
Posts: 294
This thing about identity. For me personally, I do NOT like the way people view me the past couple years. That identity or image is created around booze. That person is not me. I am looking for that person again. So are my loved ones.
Let's go Daph!!!
Let's go Daph!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Daphne:
Why are you here? You've taken the step of logging on to this SR website and you're telling us a lot about yourself. You say that drinking is starting to cause you some health problems and that you have other health issues which drinking makes it more difficult to deal with. But you also say that drinking makes you feel a lot better and more able to cope with life, that you are a tough person. And you say that you are trying to muster up the "willpower" to stop drinking.
There seem to be a bunch of contradictory messages going on here, Could it be that one part of your brain wants to drink and another part of your brain wants to quit drinking and that the drinking part is trying to control the other part? You might be interested to look at some of the AVRT discussion on this SR website.
It's all up to you. Why not go to some AA or other groups and talk with folks. Maybe see a counselor. Maybe read some stuff, like Jack Trimpey's book on Rational Recovery or some of the AA materials. Your motivation to quit may grow stronger as difficulties arise in your life from drinking and, if you're an alcoholic, this is very likely to happen.
W.
Why are you here? You've taken the step of logging on to this SR website and you're telling us a lot about yourself. You say that drinking is starting to cause you some health problems and that you have other health issues which drinking makes it more difficult to deal with. But you also say that drinking makes you feel a lot better and more able to cope with life, that you are a tough person. And you say that you are trying to muster up the "willpower" to stop drinking.
There seem to be a bunch of contradictory messages going on here, Could it be that one part of your brain wants to drink and another part of your brain wants to quit drinking and that the drinking part is trying to control the other part? You might be interested to look at some of the AVRT discussion on this SR website.
It's all up to you. Why not go to some AA or other groups and talk with folks. Maybe see a counselor. Maybe read some stuff, like Jack Trimpey's book on Rational Recovery or some of the AA materials. Your motivation to quit may grow stronger as difficulties arise in your life from drinking and, if you're an alcoholic, this is very likely to happen.
W.
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
Daphne,
You sure do cling to thinking you are unique and different than the rest of us. You romanticize your drinking very well. You keep saying how hard it is when we all have "been there, done that, got the t-shirt." I am not trying to take away anything from your justification for drinking, because you ARE unique, just like the rest of us.
Your stating that you are fine and handle everything well at first, then talking about health issues, and then your question about would Dee have quit had he not been facing death?
Please don't put yourself on the other side of whatever you perceive as differences.
An example. My Father in law had quadruple bypass surgery when he was younger than I am now. He drank heavily and smoked unfiltered cigarettes and no one could tell him he needed to moderate. Then he quit both when the doc that did his bypass told him that a. if he smoked or drank again her would die, and b. he would not treat him if he did.
I saw that and realized that I would most likely need similar motivation for me to quit smoking, as that was well before I was drinking like Dee 24/7, as I would for the last several years I was drinking.
He tried to make a big issue out of telling me I had to quit smoking and that he was stupid not to have quit before he did. But he got really pushy and preachy until one day I told him off back and said that his preaching about quitting smoking would have some actual merit had he quit before he was told to quit or die. He didn't, so he was not the person to be preachy. But he had high blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol issues, none of which I had, I just smoked a lot and drank occasionally. I told him it might take that for me too. But until I got there, I would appreciate the same space around me that he insisted on around him. He admitted that had I told him the same thing he would have told me to mind my own business and done one of his temper tantrums.
I told him that when I was faced with that choice I would most likely quit too. And I did.
I was lucky in that I came out of it with only a damaged heart valve and not a massive heart attack or stroke. I will live and glad I quit all when I did.
All I can do is share with you what worked for me and support your efforts because you are coming here for help. The great thing about having all of us who have been drunks and high functioning like me or not, have been there with all the self deceit we used to justify continuing past all bounds that we had before. We were all unique, just like you.
You see we can be your sounding board and feed back to you what we hear you saying, and sometimes we might care enough to tell you what you need to hear, instead of what you want to hear.
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to quit possibly including, but not limited to;
Local meetings of AA or SMART, local counseling pastoral or secular (which I prefer,) rehab (inpatient or outpatient,) one on one or group therapy, religious or secular retreats (some like those and they aren't actual rehab,) or one of the holistic or faith based recovery systems or a secular one not mentioned already.
If you are, maybe this time is the time for you too!
You sure do cling to thinking you are unique and different than the rest of us. You romanticize your drinking very well. You keep saying how hard it is when we all have "been there, done that, got the t-shirt." I am not trying to take away anything from your justification for drinking, because you ARE unique, just like the rest of us.
Your stating that you are fine and handle everything well at first, then talking about health issues, and then your question about would Dee have quit had he not been facing death?
Please don't put yourself on the other side of whatever you perceive as differences.
An example. My Father in law had quadruple bypass surgery when he was younger than I am now. He drank heavily and smoked unfiltered cigarettes and no one could tell him he needed to moderate. Then he quit both when the doc that did his bypass told him that a. if he smoked or drank again her would die, and b. he would not treat him if he did.
I saw that and realized that I would most likely need similar motivation for me to quit smoking, as that was well before I was drinking like Dee 24/7, as I would for the last several years I was drinking.
He tried to make a big issue out of telling me I had to quit smoking and that he was stupid not to have quit before he did. But he got really pushy and preachy until one day I told him off back and said that his preaching about quitting smoking would have some actual merit had he quit before he was told to quit or die. He didn't, so he was not the person to be preachy. But he had high blood pressure, diabetes, cholesterol issues, none of which I had, I just smoked a lot and drank occasionally. I told him it might take that for me too. But until I got there, I would appreciate the same space around me that he insisted on around him. He admitted that had I told him the same thing he would have told me to mind my own business and done one of his temper tantrums.
I told him that when I was faced with that choice I would most likely quit too. And I did.
I was lucky in that I came out of it with only a damaged heart valve and not a massive heart attack or stroke. I will live and glad I quit all when I did.
All I can do is share with you what worked for me and support your efforts because you are coming here for help. The great thing about having all of us who have been drunks and high functioning like me or not, have been there with all the self deceit we used to justify continuing past all bounds that we had before. We were all unique, just like you.
You see we can be your sounding board and feed back to you what we hear you saying, and sometimes we might care enough to tell you what you need to hear, instead of what you want to hear.
Are you willing to do whatever it takes to quit possibly including, but not limited to;
Local meetings of AA or SMART, local counseling pastoral or secular (which I prefer,) rehab (inpatient or outpatient,) one on one or group therapy, religious or secular retreats (some like those and they aren't actual rehab,) or one of the holistic or faith based recovery systems or a secular one not mentioned already.
If you are, maybe this time is the time for you too!
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