Ranger

I don't pretend my situation was typical. But, I hid my addiction so long and tightly that when I confessed it to my wife I unknowingly performed a Step 1 that shifted the power so dramatically I lost the desire for drink.

Spawn

This is awesome.

Terminally Unique

Again with the "we's" :-)

I don't need to admit that I am "an alcoholic" to anyone in order to be honest with them.

In any case, absolute honesty does not work in the real world. Some things are best not said out loud.

susanlauren

Why do I believe it was critical to fully concede to my innermost self that I am alcoholic? Because until I surrendered without condition and without reservation, I could not take the actions I needed to take to fully recover. As long as I thought I had choice and control over my drinking, I kept searching for yet another strategy to keep myself sober. When I stopped trying to stop drinking, I could focus my energy and my effort on trying to find a power greater than myself which would solve my problem for me. Now I don't want to drink anymore and the mental obsession around alcohol and drinking has been removed.
Susan

susanlauren

Why do I believe it was critical to fully concede to my innermost self that I am alcoholic? Because until I surrendered without condition and without reservation, I could not take the actions I needed to take to fully recover. As long as I thought I had choice and control over my drinking, I kept searching for yet another strategy to keep myself sober. When I stopped trying to stop drinking, I could focus my energy and my effort on trying to find a power greater than myself which would solve my problem for me. Now I don't want to drink anymore and the mental obsession around alcohol and drinking has been removed.
Susan

Spawn

Being honest has had nothing but positive results for me.

TexasNative

It's just on the long list of unfortunate things about being an alcoholic. I find it easier in casual circumstances (a cousin I haven't seen in years) to just say no thanks to a beer instead of going "no way, I'm a raging alcoholic and I'll drink 20 more" but I have told those who know me I'm an alcoholic. Even that is frustrating because they don't understand it. Oh, you're an alcoholic? Well just go to a 30 day program in the hills and get fixed! Oh well hit a 12 step and it's over! Oh gee just pop Antabuse everyday!! Non alcoholics can frustrate me with ther opinions on it, as though it's a rash that just needs some ointment. Just yesterday I was telling my neighbor how good it feels to be months sober and she was like, wow I bet thats nice to know thats over with...grrr...

Spawn

Not understanding I think comes from a lack of education in dealing with addiction and I've thought that these folk are blessed on some level....we get it only because we lived it. That's why meetings help so we can connect with people that do understand.

Terminally Unique

Admitting something to yourself is one thing, but admitting something to others can have repercussions. People have all sorts of ideas about "alcoholics" - and it can make it almost impossible to return to normal living.

Just this morning, my father asked me about something that happened days ago. I hadn't slept, was running all over the place, strained to make it to a family function on time, and I looked run down. He wanted to know if I "had a relapse" - you know, because alcoholism is "a chronic, relapsing brain disease" - and "alcoholics" can't possibly quit.

When I told him "no, I did not drink" he said "I know, not then, but what about the night before?" When I then told him that I didn't drink the night before, either, he said "don't lie to me, tell me the truth."

I stopped going to AA, and my parents are convinced that I am "an alcoholic," so they are just waiting for the other shoe to drop and for me to explode into drunkenness.

Forget it. I learned my lesson. I admit nothing.

Spawn

repercussions.....some of us call it accountability.

As far as your parents go I think that one will take time.

Just because you say your not going to drink is one thing but it will take time to show them.....right?

Trust is something that is earned.

Spawn

:day1

ooops this icon was an accident.......disregard it

Terminally Unique

I have taken full personal responsibility for staying sober, and I need not be accountable to anyone for that, since no other person can keep me sober.

Many people also feel uncomfortable drinking around "an alcoholic," thinking that they may "trigger" them to drink. They may even hide the liquor even if they are not drinking. :-)

Thanks to certain dubious notions regarding alcoholism and alcoholics, yes, if it is even possible to "show" people at all. Ironically, this is especially true of people in recovery, and I am willing to bet that more than one is curious as to how much "TIME" I have.

I won't be having any personal drinking parties, though - of that I am certain, and "telling on myself" about something that I will never do again accomplishes absolutely nothing.

Spawn

AVRT

So I'm curious....how much clean time do you have?

Terminally Unique

No doubt, and I'm actually debating whether or not to tell you. This little voice in my head is telling me not to, since that would be indulging in a practice I do not subscribe to anymore - counting time - but I suppose I can make an exception.

I haven't drank in years, although the precise D.O.S. is not important. I've been out of AA for over four months, though, and I still get calls from people wanting to know if I'm back to drinking.

Spawn

just an observation..........not criticism

why do you sound so bitter?

Terminally Unique

You started a thread wanting to know why people might not want to adopt the "alcoholic" label, not exactly a cheerful topic. I'm just pointing out that once you do that, there may be consequences, and it is not so easy to put that genie back in the bottle.

Dee74

Extended personal discussions are best left to PM I think...
I think it's best we try and move back to the original topic of discussion:

thanks

D

Spawn

Since I embraced my alcoholism 100% and did the work to change me life has been a miracle.

And I can only hope that new comers hang around long enough to share the wonder that is recovery.

Don't get hung up on words or peoples thoughts...recovery can be a remarkable journey.

Just keep an open mind.

justjo

My sister was a person who couldnt say she was an alcoholic for many years. It wasnt that she was offended by the 'word'. She was ashamed of it as a woman, she saw it as a reflection of her dignity, person and ability. She was just a beautifiul person who didnt want people to know.

ETA

I'm glad you mentioned time... I have been thinking of that also.

I can see how counting is helpful - when I quit smoking I was counting the hours and rewarding myself at regular intervals.

I don't want to count time since my last drink. For me it puts the focus on the past and I just want to look ahead. With the word alcoholic - for some admitting it openly gives strength. For me it would make me feel weaker.

There is no right or wrong - it's more like whatever works for you is right....