Kjell

Hi Barbie-

Back to your originial question - does sobriety get any easier? The answer is no, not if you're not willing to be open to new ideas.

You're making a lot of assumptions and even being disrespectful to "aa people" without having any experience yourself.

You asked, we gave you some suggestions, but it sounds like you've got it all figured out.

Enjoy the clubs and bars with your friends and we'll be here if you ever need help.

Kjell~

susanlauren

Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink. That's how self-pity tends to work.

Until you want sobriety more than you want to drink, none of the recovery programs are going to work for you. You are romanticizing alcohol and the drinking lifestyle. Until that allure is gone, I think you will find sobriety very difficult to achieve and maintain.

Do you want to stop drinking? If not, that is certainly your business. What I find curious is that you have searched out and posted on the sober recovery website. Why?
Susan

Barbiedoll11

That's great, glad you feel that way. I won't drink regardless of whatsver anyone here says. Your way is not the ONLY way. Sorry, I did not mean to disrespect AA people.

ajangel

Not everyone here is in AA. I have been sober for 39 days without any program. I think you are misunderstanding what people here are saying. Surrounding yourself in that atmosphere so early in your sobriety is very likely to contribute to failure. Like you, I love to go to clubs, listen to live bands, and go dancing. I have had to put that on the back burner for awhile. Believe me I miss it. However if I give into the temptation that is obviously everywhere in those surroundings, I am done for. If you can do it, more power to you. You are just tempting fate. Good luck to you.

Latte

I don't have any answers for you.

I just know that I had to change in order to get clean and sober. What I was doing myself wasn't working.

I hope your path brings you some peace.

susanlauren

BarbieDoll11: I won't drink regardless of whatsver anyone here says.

If you can just not drink on your own strength and willpower, you really don't need any type of program of recovery at all. If drinking is causing problems for you, then just don't drink. There are plenty methods and means of achieving sobriety if you change your mind later on. No one group, including AA, has a monopoly.
Susan

woowaa

You seem to be taking things to heart a bit more than they are intended.

I'm new but something I have realised is that noone here will judge you. What they will do is offer their opinion and challenge yours but it is only done with the intention of helping you, often from learnings and mistakes during their recovery.

You may well be able to abstain from drinking while others around you continue to drink - only you can determine that.

I personally would probably not find it that hard not to drink but I would be uncomfortable enough not to stay as I do not think my will power would be up to the challenge yet.

Stopping drinking, dealing with addiction is hard work - I only poured my wife a glass of wine 2 Sundays ago and my anxiety levels went through the roof for the rest of the evening - I only realised later it was basically me wanting what I didn't want me to have.

Best wishes in your recovery

michelle01

Stopping drinking is just the start, there is much more involved in recovery. I know that I had to have a pretty drastic personal overhaul.

When I stopped drinking, I found it pretty difficult to believe that I would find other things that I enjoyed, but I did. I made quitting my number one priority. But I don't feel that I am missing out on anything. Life isn't perfect or easy but I am very grateful to be sober.

I still like to go out, but in the beginning there were certain places I found very difficult - hell, I couldn't even pass a bottle shop without being reduced to shakes. Now, my family drink openly in front of me. I'm okay with it... I can accept that they can, I can't, and I don't resent them for it. It's no real use going there. I'm the one with the problem, it's on me to be responsible.

Good luck whichever way and it's up to you to weigh the pros and cons.

Pigtails

Hi, congrats on being sober for 2 weeks, that's a huge accomplishment especially when your lifestyle used to revolve around alcohol.

I can relate to you so much, except that perhaps it's a *little* easier on me(?) because I'm 30 and I kept telling myself I'm getting too old to party all the time. But party all the time I did, and a lot of my friends are younger (some are older, even much older, but still like to party... basically I hung out with party people no matter what their age but my good friend I always partied with is 23). That was the life I knew, I was comfortable with it, it was who I was.

Except. That like you I would over-indulge and end up doing things I regret. I can so relate to sleeping with someone you normally wouldn't and then ending up with regrets and shame the next morning. And making a fool out of myself. I always thought I was the life of the party but at a certain point I became silly/obnoxious girl and said and did embarrassing things. I also did other things I regret, like driving drunk (luckily I never got a DUI but I have no idea how I avoided that), being really mean and/or crying a lot to my ex fiance or friends for no reason, falling down, etc.

Who wants to be that girl? Not me anymore. I am retiring from the job of Party Girl. Sadly there are many other women playing the part, they don't need me. I have the same issues thinking, what am I going to do with myself now that I don't drink, and, I miss that lifestyle, but then I think... do I really? Why do I miss doing things I regret? Isn't there a better life for me?

I'm trying to find a balance (I'm only on my sixth day sober) of doing some things from my "old life" that I still like, alcohol free... such as places with live music and dancing, which I like... and also finding new or alternative things to do that don't involve drinking, and that have more substance, with people who don't drink or who don't have their lives revolve around drinking. I want to have more substance in my life now and not be a party girl. I know it's hard but I try to envision the life that I want (imagine how many hours you wasted getting smashed and being hungover...) and then actively living that life. We can do it. Good luck.

Pigtails

Oh, BarbieDoll, I second this. I felt lost being the only one of my friends who has decided not to drink and wanting a life outside of the bar/club scene but not knowing too many people who do other things (I do have one good friend who does). I was really reluctant to try AA and I'm still not sure I understand it all or agree with it all but the best thing that has come out of it for me is meeting other people around my age who don't drink. There are a lot of people like us, we just have to find each other. Maybe it's time to make some good friends. And I really feel like AA or a similar program is a good place to do that. Good luck.

Barbiedoll11

I am committed to two things and those two things only....not drinking and keeping my loved ones close. That's where I am at today. And that's all I can do right now. I just wanted to know if not drinking gets easier

michelle01

This struck me too. In AA it seems there is often a distinction made between a 'problem/heavy drinker' and an 'alcoholic'. No matter how I avowed to stop drinking under my own willpower, I always kept doing it. It didn't get easier by itself. I guess that's how I knew it had become a real pathology. Only you can decide your category. You don't need to be an alcoholic though for it to be causing a significant problem.

Btw I didn't do AA, very few groups where I live. I do however have support through regular counseling.

Mcribb

it got easier once I was in a program and had ways to deal with something, without the alcohol I was annoyed all the time, so that really got old after about a month and a half.

Pigtails

And that is the question of yours that people have been answering. It won't get easier if you don't take more steps, to change up your life all together. You will just be the same person except not drinking anymore, when your issues (like all of ours) most likely extend beyond drinking. Drinking isn't really the problem as much as it's a symptom. So you have to work on yourself and on making positive changes in your life in order for the not drinking to get easier.

No one here is trying to be mean to you. We are trying to help you. We are answering your question... could it be that you just don't like the answer? I am new to this and it is hard and I am so not judging you. Just trying to help based on what I've discovered. I wish you the best.

leo21

I left my answer open to interpretation. But, I do wish you the best and hope you find victory over this problem!

bcboy

Hi Barbie!

First off, congrats on 2 weeks this is a big deal and you should be very proud of yourself.

Also I commend you for making the decision to try sobriety at such a young age. Having made this decision so young shows a bright future in your life.

As for your question on sobriety and getting easier as time goes by.

Two thumbs up and a big yes!

Right now at 2 weeks you are most likely feeling rather raw or like a fish out of water and have no idea how to cope in your new environment. Alcohol is everywhere. TV commercials, magazine articles, billboards on the drive to work and everyone talking about going out on the weekend to party.

You must keep why you decided to give being sober at the forefront of your mind every time you start to think that this is to hard. To start thinking in terms of how great being sober will be when you no longer will need to be concerned about a possible blackout, the embarrassing moments etc etc.

The moment you choose being sober all that disappears.

You do not need to give up any of your friends simply because you have decided that you no longer want to drink. That is the little voice in your head trying to get you to drink "I will not risk losing my friends over not drinking so screw it all"

I was honest with all of my close friends and when I told them about my decision I was supported every step of the way. Sure I did lose some friends, but it was because it turned out that they were not true friends to begin with and only in being sober did this become clear.

You might also find that your close friends will not only support your decision but find your strength an inspiration and join you in your new found free life.

It happened to me and after a year of being sober I am no longer having any desire for my old ways and living life at 9/10

Hope my words help

FBL

It got easier for me as I went along.

Barbiedoll11

Well said Bcboy! Your answer is inspiring !=)

littlefish

Ahhh yes..."everyone" may drink, but is everyone an alcoholic? You must have some friends that go out to the clubs and drink, but don't get smashed. It wasn't until I quit that I realized most of my friends didn't drink like me. Many of my friends nursed a couple of wines or beers all night long and went home without being in black out mode.

I assumed everyone was drinking like me, way over normal levels, at inappropriate times....etc, etc. They weren't.

On the other hand, there is scenario two: maybe everyone you know is a heavy drinker and that is why they are your friends. Drinking buddies. Many of us had to come to that awareness at some point, that they were not friends, just people it was convenient to get drunk with. I also had a set of friends like that once.

I don't know what your situation is: it could be either scenario one or two. In any event, if it is the fact that you have lots of friends who drink but are not alcoholics, you, as Bcboy mentions, should not really have a problem.

Being true friends, they will support your sobriety. If they are drinking buds who have issues with alcoholism themselves poof, they will disappear from your scene very quickly because they are not friends.

instant

I am not in AA. It may help if you check out "rational recovery" and SMART.

Alcohol is a freeloader that destroys progressively. Alcohol has been my main fun adviser, and party planner for many years. Alcohol is also adept at getting into every aspect of your soul. It's a powerful addiction. You can have fun without alcohol but it can be a lonely road................with a lot of pain and doubt..... and alcohol will whisper to you, compliment you, reassure you and make it all better..............for a while.

You are brave for posting. What ever you decide keep coming back- even if it is to tell us we've got it wrong. Take care BD11