Poor me, poor me, pour me another drink. That's how self-pity tends to work.
Until you want sobriety more than you want to drink, none of the recovery programs are going to work for you. You are romanticizing alcohol and the drinking lifestyle. Until that allure is gone, I think you will find sobriety very difficult to achieve and maintain.
Do you want to stop drinking? If not, that is certainly your business. What I find curious is that you have searched out and posted on the sober recovery website. Why?
Susan